CF - Chapter Ten: Everything Changes

Chapter 10: Everything Changes

Edward

As I pulled onto the highway, making my way home, I was feeling pretty fucking anxious. But it wasn't like I could renege on the shit I'd said to Bella now. It was out there, it was known, and there was no way my mind, my heart or my dick could handle it. She was the only thing they all seemed to want, anyway.
My eyes dropped briefly from the road ahead, examining the way my fingers were white knuckled as they gripped the steering wheel. It wasn't exactly a surprise either. The tension in my body pretty much filled the air of the car. It wasn't corporeal, but you could sense that shit with as thick as it was. The tension, it still wouldn't change what was about to happen.
Truth was, no matter how fucked up all this was and would get, I wanted her in a way I'd never wanted anyone. Hell, the last time I actually wanted someone, other than to just stick my dick in, was before my mom died. Still, it was never like this clusterfuck of emotions Bella brought out of me.
In a matter of weeks, and that shit shouldn't be possible, she infiltrated the inside of me. Infiltrate was the right word too, because I hadn't wanted to feel these goddamn feelings I felt for her. But they plowed right over my ass, dropped their heavy weight on my chest and slapped me in the face, smirking down at me as they said, "Deal with it, fucker. It's not like you really got a say."
Now wasn't that the motherfucking truth.
I sighed, releasing the grip my left hand had on the steering wheel. I watched as the indentations in the material from my fingertips decompressed back to its original form. I ran my fingers through my hair – nervous habit – then reached for my cell to text Bella.
I'll be at the house in 5. Meet me outside.
How did you get my cell number?
She really didn't need to know I copped that shit from Alice's cell phone… unknowingly. Yeah, it was a bitch ass thing to do, but again, I'm an asshole. No shocker there. Besides, it wasn't like Bella would have given it to me anyway, and I really didn't have any other way to get it without Alice. I wanted it because… well, I just fucking wanted it.
I have my ways, Bella. Just meet me outside.
After I picked her up, I took her to this old barn I used to go to as a kid. It was private, obviously because the place was abandoned. It still looked like shit, even the open field around the place, but it was going to serve its purpose, so what did I care? I just wanted to be alone with her.
I immediately took her inside because it was cold, and I didn't want her getting sick, then led her to a stack of wooden crates that were at the back of the barn in a corner. After I sat down on a cracked bench, neither one of us said anything for awhile. I was pretty much locked in my own head, trying to figure out exactly what I was going to say to her. And Bella? She was waiting on me.
I figured I may as well start with the obvious. "I meant what I said earlier… about wanting you."
"Okay," she responded.
She was pretty nervous, and that shit did nothing to help deflect my own anxiety. I was fumbling with my hands, thinking how it shouldn't be this hard to actually speak some words, but then again, I didn't tell people how I felt. It wasn't something I felt obligated to fucking do. People were told only what I thought they needed to know, but with Bella, well, that just didn't work. I couldn't hide from her.
It wasn't for lack of trying obviously, but my fucking filter was shot to shit around her, so I continued to make with the honesty. It wasn't exactly the nicest thing I could have said, because I told her I worked better alone. I was a prick like that, apparently, even though I wasn't trying to be offensive. I was just laying it all out on the table. She held her own, though, and my dick applauded her for that even through my frustration.
The thing was, Bella and I did what we always did when things got real between us. We started arguing the shit out, which led to my tongue down her throat, and me shoving my dick against her while she dry humped me. Did I mention I hated motherfucking clothes?
Maybe that wasn't entirely counterproductive… to her, but that was our way. In retrospect, we got some shit accomplished because we still talked quite a bit and learned where we stood. She knew I wanted her, I knew she wanted me, we knew because of that we were both fucked, yet we couldn't walk away from it.
I also learned the girl was dangerous to more than just giving me a severe case of blue balls, which in itself was a goddamn tragedy, but she was lethal to my heart too. I knew as I held her in my arms, nothing but her warmth and smell wrapping aptly around me, the way it felt so damn right for me to be holding her like that, she was the only thing that could break the useless muscle in my chest that felt dead until she came along.
Yeah, she put a spark in me.
It was that same spark that nearly had me calling her angel eyes. I got to calling her that, but she wasn't supposed to know it. I slipped up, but caught myself. I wasn't good boyfriend material, I didn't do the pet names, but damn if I didn't look in those brown eyes of hers and feel like I was gifted some small piece of heaven whether I deserved that shit or not.
Like I said, it was that damn spark.
I took her back to my house. Conversation was nonexistent the whole way there. Even through dinner we didn't speak, but I couldn't keep my eyes off her. Needless to say, I excused myself from the dinner table with a hard-on comparable to a titanium rod, because, apparently, Bella sucking noodles from a fork was a motherfucking aphrodisiac. Who knew?
When she finally came upstairs from dinner, I met her in the hallway… or attacked her in the hallway, depending on how you looked at it. Either way, my arms were around her, and my mouth was working hers.
"Fuck, I wanted to do that the whole time you were eating," I said against her lips.
"Really?" she asked. "I thought you were ignoring me."
I wanted to laugh at her comment. "Uh, yeah, that's not fucking possible. Tried that, remember?"
"But in the car and at the table, you never-"
"I was just overwhelmed. That's all." She didn't realize how true that shit really was. It's what she brought out in me.
She asked me how I knew it was her coming up the stairs, so I told her. "I'd know that fucking scent of yours anywhere."
That answer led to more kissing, which led to me wanting to do a whole lot more than just kissing, but I digress. I couldn't exactly fuck her out in the hallway, though that was a pretty tempting idea, but I'm not sure she'd be okay with someone catching us because we weren't alone in the house.
To be honest, I wasn't okay with it either. What she had under those clothes, it was for my fucking eyes only. So I made sure before I left her that she knew I'd like her to meet me downstairs when everyone went to bed. She agreed.
I closed myself in my room, knowing the next few hours were going to be a bitch. What can I say? I was an impatient shit.
I figured, though, if I was going to do some suffering, I may as well not be alone in it. I lay down on my bed, grabbed my cell, then sent a text.
Don't fall asleep, Bella. You have somewhere to be when everyone falls asleep.
I smiled as soon as I heard her ringtone echo through the wall. I knew she got it, and I knew she was in for as long a night as I was.

-OO-OO-

I laid there in bed, trying to find something to distract myself from the fact that Bella was on the other side of the wall my headboard leaned against. The only thing stopping me from going into that room was that I now knew Alice was in there with her.
I had no idea what they were talking about, and normally I wouldn't give a shit about girl talk, but I wanted to know what kind of conversation they were having. Or maybe it was more of me wanting to know if Bella was thinking about me as much as I was thinking about her. Did she have any fucking idea what I planned to do to her tonight?
And now I was so goddamn hard I groaned in frustration.
I tried ticking off shit in my head that would help end the torture my dick was under, considering I still had at least an hour by the alarm clock before I could see Bella, but nothing worked. Pacing around my room was out of the question, obviously for comfort reasons. Lying in bed did nothing to help with the throbbing between my legs either. So… a cold shower it was.
Needless to say, the cold shower helped, but I had that water so fucking cold I feared my dick was going to turn into a cocksicle. The outcome was what mattered, though. I may have suffered a little hypothermia, but I wasn't sporting wood anymore.
I threw on a tank-shirt and pajama pants, going commando underneath, then skimmed through the cable lineup to watch a little T.V. When I was bored with that, I found some other mundane shit to do before I couldn't stand being enclosed in my room any longer.
I headed downstairs.
The lights were out throughout the house, which meant everyone was in bed, so as long as Alice was asleep, it wouldn't be long before Bella joined me… if she was still awake. I went straight to the living room and sat on the couch, grabbed the remote as I plopped my feet up on the coffee table, then turned on the television.
I must have flipped through every one of the channels twenty damn times when I felt the air in the living room charge with electricity. I didn't have to see her to know she was near me.
"I was beginning to think you fell asleep," I murmured.
She came around the back of the couch, but stood near the arm. "I had to wait for Alice to fall asleep."
I sat the remote down, dropped my feet from the table and looked up at her. "Are you going to sit down?"
She shifted her weight on her feet. "Yeah, I just…"
I lifted an eyebrow. "You just, what?"
"I thought… uh… we could talk or whatever."
I laughed. "You wanna talk, heh?"
She took a few steps closer to me, making visible the pajama shorts she was wearing were tighter around her ass than the ones from the previous night. I'm pretty sure I growled as I stared at her ass. If she heard me, she didn't acknowledge it. She was probably getting used to the fact that I was part caveman around her.
"Well, I mean, I know we talked some earlier, but I just… There are still things we need to talk about. Things I have to tell you, maybe things you have to tell me. I guess, like, what we are to each other and-"
"Do we really have to put a name to it?" I asked. "Isn't that, like, pressuring us to be whatever society fucking thinks we should be? Why can't it just be me and you, being whatever we want to be together without a label?"
I swear she looked like she was mentally flipping my ass off. "So, is that your way of basically saying you don't want anyone to know if you consider me your girlfriend or not? If you don't put a label to it, then you won't have to explain what I am to you?"
"That's not what the fuck this is about. Sometimes a mere word doesn't have enough emphasis to define what someone or something is."
"You really believe what you're saying? This isn't about hiding?"
"Why wouldn't I? I may be an asshole, Bella, but I do have some fucking depth to me. I do have shit I believe despite what you might think about me."
"That's not what I… I wasn't saying that."
"Yeah, I think I got the memo loud and clear about what you were saying."
"Isn't that some bullshit, Edward? Double standards much? You don't want me assuming anything about you, but there you go assuming about me. The pot calling the kettle black, right?" She continued telling me off, but to be honest, I wasn't really paying attention to the shit she was saying. I was too focused on the fact that her defiance spiked that carnal need in me.
I reached for her, pulling her into my lap, silencing her with my lips. I pushed my tongue into her mouth, groaning as the taste of her actually fucking overwhelmed me.
"Why?" I whispered against her lips as I broke the kiss to get some air. "Why do you always have to fucking fight me?"
I asked the question, but I didn't let her answer.
My mouth was claiming hers, hot and hungry, like I needed her fucking taste to live off of. My hands were working their way up the soft skin of her thighs, thighs I wanted to be parting so I could settle myself between them and bury myself inside her.
I wanted her so fucking bad. And the want for her, it only seemed to magnify. I felt like I was this goddamn ball of flame around her, searing with a need that consumed me in ways I had no words for. It fucked with my head because I couldn't understand all these feelings crashing down on me like steel weight, especially the warm sensation that suffused through my chest the second I laid eyes on her. It didn't matter, though, did it? Because all that shit, that's what led me here.
I repositioned her in my lap so she was straddling me, her knees digging into the cushions of the couch, without moving my mouth from hers. I'd rather cut off my motherfucking eyelids than pull my lips away and lose the taste of her mouth… unless it was between her legs I was tasting. Either one, it didn't matter.
She was pulling back, but I tried to hold her to me. She gasped, breathing out my name. "Edward…"
I pulled her back against me, her chest pressing into mine. I loved the feel of her body up against me. "Don't stop, Bella."
Her brown eyes stared back at me, hooded with a need that matched my own, but a defiance blazing underneath that made my dick so hard it ached for some relief. She liked to challenge me, and surprisingly, I fucking loved that she did.
She closed her eyes, breathing in deep before opening them again, her voice sounding sultry and sexed up. "It's not going to work. I… I know what you're trying to do."
I lifted my eyebrow, smirking up at her as I shifted my hips upward, loving the whimper I got in exchange. "Give me a few more seconds, and I'll show you what I'm trying to do."
I glided my tongue along the soft plumpness of her bottom lip. Even in the dim light the television offered, I could make out that it was slightly swollen and red from kissing. Still, that didn't detour me from the fact that I was going to be kissing those lips again. She knew that and shivered because of it… or maybe it was because of what I'd just done with my tongue.
"You know, there are other things… uh… you could be doing with that tongue instead of-"
"Now we're talking," I teased.
She blushed as she realized exactly what she'd said, but smiled at me anyway, shaking her head in amusement, and placed her small hand against my chest as she reared back, the heat from her palm radiating through my tank-shirt into my skin. It amazed the hell out of me how even that kind of contact from her was so fucking stimulating. "I'm being serious, Edward. You could be using it for talking rather than-"
I clasped my hand around her wrist and yanked upward as my other arm wrapped around her waist, pulling her against me, bringing us chest to chest again. The movement cut off her words, but that was exactly the fucking point. Of course the chest to chest would have been so much better if we were naked, but, you know, details and all that shit. It was gonna happen soon enough.
I leaned forward, dipping my tongue out to trail a path along her jaw line. Her breathing was a steady rhythm, much louder, and warm bursts of air scaled off the side of my face as she exhaled. I grinned at her reaction, all self-satisfied that I could make her feel as goddamn needy as she made me, but I wanted to take it up a fucking notch, so I paused at her ear, whispering, "You wouldn't be saying that shit if you knew all the ways I was good at using my tongue."
"Oh, my God," she whimpered. "I… You make me feel dizzy. How… how do you do that?"
I smiled at her. "Do what?"
"Don't act all innocent, Edward Cullen. You know exactly what you were doing." She narrowed her eyes at me, trying to act hard and shit, but she was failing miserably.
Her eyes locked on my mouth as my tongue slipped out, sliding along my bottom lip slowly. She was conveniently occupied, like I wanted her to be, so I gripped my hands around that pert ass of hers and drew her forward, grinding her against my dick again. "Oh, you mean that?"
"Yes," she groaned.
"You like when I do that shit, Bella?" I asked. "You like feeling my dick against that pussy?"
"Holy shit," she hissed in a low breath. I'd seen Bella aroused before, I'd made Bella aroused before, but to see Bella this aroused, like she was going to attempt to eat me alive, it was fucking amazing. "The things you say, I just… How… how can you make me-" She paused.
"Make you what?" I wanted her to tell me, and I was going to give her some incentive to do it, so I thrust against her, making sure to rub where I knew her clit was, giving her the friction she wanted. Not that the feeling wasn't enjoyable for me, either.
She whimpered. "You just… You make me want…"
"You want what, baby?" I worked her hips over my dick. "You want this?" I leaned forward to whisper in her ear, but kept grinding her against me. "I know you want this, and I want to give it to you, Bella. Let me give you what we both want."
"I'm… aching," she whispered. Her face flushed a bright shade of red, and I knew the words she'd just said, they spilled out without her intending them to.
"I know," I smirked at her. "But I'll make the ache go away. I'll make you feel so fucking good."
She shook her head, like she was clearing her mind of haze. "I'm not… uh… I'm not a slut, Edward."
I laughed, nearly choking as the sound came out. "Well, obviously not. You're a virgin, Bella. But where the hell did that shit come from?"
Her small fingers started fumbling with the fabric of my tank-shirt, her eyes watching the movement her fingers made. "I've… well, I've never had sex, and I just…" Her words trailed off. She was nervous.
I placed my hands over her fingers, stopping the path they were taking against my chest. "I know you haven't had sex before, but obviously you know there are other ways to come besides having sex." Her eyes widened. "You have come before, right?"
She shook her head. "No."
"Not even by touching yourself?"
She shrugged, biting her lip, her blush deepening. "Well, I've never…"
I blew out a deep breath, shocked. "Well, shit." She stared at me, confused. I sighed. "Stand up."
Her brows knitted together. "Why?"
"Just stand up," I told her.
She did as I asked, so I followed suit, turning off the T.V. before grabbing her hand in mine and pulling her toward the door leading to the garage. "Where are we going? Are you… are you taking me to the garage?"
I didn't bother to glance over my shoulder to answer her as I pushed through the door and headed toward the stairs that led up to the loft above the garage, pulling her behind me. "I'm taking you to the loft above the garage."
"Why?"
"Because you're about to make a lot of noise, Bella."
"But, Edward, I…"
I spun around quickly, yanking her toward me, pressing her tiny body against mine. "I told you earlier I wanted to make you come, that hasn't changed, but tonight I'm only gonna use my fingers. Tell me you don't wanna know what it's like to come by my fingers, and we'll stop this shit now. I won't go any further. I want you, Bella, and I know you can feel how much, but I won't force you. I just want to touch you."
"Why?"
I gaped at her. "Why do I want to touch you?"
"No." She shook her head. "Why do you want me?"
"Where to fucking start with that question."
"Start anywhere."
"We're doing this… right now?" She nodded. I sighed again. "Bella, there's a lot of reasons, and I…"
"Tell me," she pleaded.
I lifted my hand, grazing my knuckles over her cheek. "You're beautiful. That's one reason." Her eyes dropped from mine. "You don't take my shit. Turns out, my dick happens to like that about you."
She chuckled. "You certainly know how to choose your words, Edward."
"Isn't that the fucking truth."
"It's sexual, though, right? I mean, that's why-"
"No." I shook my head, actually getting pissed that she thought I only wanted to fuck her, and that was it. "It's no secret I want to fuck you, Bella. I've told you that shit." I glanced down at the obvious hard-on I was sporting. "You're the only one that does this to me."
Her head cocked to the side. "You seem to forget how the hell we met. You know, with you and Tanya in the utility closet at work," she scoffed
I ran my fingers through my hair. "Yeah, Bella, I remember that shit, but can we not talk about it for the sake of my dick?"
She lowered her eyes. "I'm just saying, I didn't see you having a problem with your peen then, Edward."
"Yeah, I'm not a virgin. I've had sex before, so obviously my shit works. I'm trying to say that I want you, Bella. That's it. Just you." I gripped her chin, forcing her to look at me. "But I told you already, I don't just want to fuck you, Bella. I will get inside of you eventually, you better believe that shit," I smirked. "But I'm not going anywhere after I do. I want… I want more than that from you."
"Yeah, but you may not once you-"
I gripped her chin tighter. I needed her to understand that as hard as it was for me to fucking admit what I was saying to her, I still meant it. "There's no going back now. I want you. However you are, I want it."
She swallowed thickly. "Edward, I need to tell-"
Apparently telling her wasn't the way to go about it. I was obviously gonna have to show her. I silenced her words with my mouth. "I'm done talking, Bella. I'm going to make you come now."
I led her into the loft. It was pretty decent sized. Definitely decent sized enough for what I was about to do.
There was a small kitchen with a few appliances sitting along the marbled counters, a couch and loveseat made out of some hideous looking navy blue floral pattern – Esme refused to get rid of the shit because they once belonged to her deceased mother - a coffee table in front of the couch and a thirty-two inch television that sat on top of a wooden stand. There was a bedroom off to the right of a hallway that was probably four steps in length, six or seven in width, and a bathroom across from it that was equipped with a shower stall that had glass doors instead of a bathtub.
The bedroom was set up with a bed that had two nightstands on either side of it, a dresser, and of course a television that sat on top of the dresser.
Esme had it decorated up for guests that visited and wanted privacy. Not many people came to visit, so it didn't get much use.
That shit was, however, about to change.
I walked Bella over to the bed, feeling her hand trembling in mine. As soon as we were standing beside the bed, I faced her and pulled her in my arms. I brushed my lips across hers. "You nervous?"
"I've just never done this before. I mean, I don't know what I'm…"
I kissed her. "I told you, I'm not going to force you. If you aren't comfortable with this, we'll go back to the house. I wanna touch you, and I wanna make you feel good, but I'm not going to do that shit if it's not what you really want."I meant that shit too. I would have taken her back to the house and just sat with her.
I leaned forward, brushing my nose along her cheek. "You tell me. Do you want me to touch you, baby?"
She sucked in a deep breath, then exhaled. "I… umm… Yes."
I smiled as I dragged my lips along her jaw, stopping at her ear. "You want me to make you come?"
"Yes," she breathed.
"Come get on the bed with me," I told her.
I climbed on the bed first, and after I was seated on the mattress, I held out my hand to her, helping her beside me. I knew she was nervous, but only because she'd never been touched before. I could see she wanted what I was about to do.
She lay down on her back, so I lay down beside her, pulling her body against mine so we were both resting on our sides. I pressed my lips to hers, starting things off slowly to relax her.
It wasn't until the tension started leaving her body that my tongue entered her mouth. She moaned the second mine brushed against hers. One of her hands came up, fisting her fingers through my hair and pulling me closer. I liked that she was getting into the shit.
I ran my hand gently down her other arm, moving slowly toward her hip. I could have stopped at her hip and went straight for the gold, but I wasn't going to do that shit to her. I wanted to prime her more, get her ready for my touch because I wanted her to enjoy it. Instead, I moved to the small of her back, drawing lazy circles with my fingertips, going no further. I was working her up with my mouth and the feel of my body against hers.
When her mouth started trying to dominate mine, I knew she was ready for me to move things along. I slid my hand down from her back to her ass and gently squeezed the flesh. She moaned into my mouth, so I did it again.
My fingers skimmed along her ass to the underside of her thigh. I hitched her leg up over my waist, leaving her knee lying against my hip bone, then ground my dick into her. "You feel that?" I uttered against her lips.
"Yes," she whimpered.
"You like the way that feels?" I ground my dick into her again, but rotated my hips as I did so, pressing the tip of my cock where I knew her clit was.
I hit the right spot because she moaned loudly. "God, yes."
"Imagine that feeling, but a hundred times better. That's what it's going to feel like once I get inside you. My mouth, my fingers, my cock, they're all gonna make you feel good, Bella."
She groaned loudly as I maneuvered my hand from around her thigh and snaked it between us, trailing my fingers down until they were right between her legs with my hand cupping her pussy, the heel of my palm rotating in a circle against her clit. She was so fucking hot in my hand, even through her shorts. "Please..."
"I know, baby. It feels good, doesn't it? It's going to feel better in just a second."
She closed her eyes. "I… Please, Edward."
"I'm going to touch you now, okay?" I pressed my lips to hers as I moved my hand from between her legs. She whimpered in protest. "I'm not done. I'm still going to make you feel good." I laid her flat on her back, but remained on my side, being held up by my elbow. I brought my hand up to her stomach, pushing the sweatshirt she wore upward. Her eyes shot open, her body immediately stiffened, and her hands came down to stop mine from moving any further. "It's okay, Bella. I'm only going to touch you just like I was doing a second ago, but underneath your shorts, alright?"
She took in a deep breath, her hands loosening their grip over mine. "Okay. Just there, though."
"It'll be just like I told you. I won't do anything that'll hurt you," I promised. "I'll make it good for you." She slowly nodded her head. "Close your eyes, baby, and just feel."
My fingers glided down the smoothness of her stomach, her body practically thrumming under my touch, coming up first underneath the waistband of her shorts, then her underwear. I pushed through the material, and as soon as the tips of my fingers grazed her clit, she gasped. She wasn't hairless, but she definitely trimmed. I brought my mouth to hers, kissing her as I moved my fingers further down.
"Fuck," I groaned as my fingers slid against her wet lips. "You're so wet… and you feel so good against my fingers. Do you know that, Bella? You have no idea how badly I want to be inside that pussy right now."
"Edward," she moaned.
"Shhh," I told her. "Let me take care of you."
And I did.
I circled her opening with my middle finger, barely nudging inside with the tip. Her breathing kicked up a notch.
I continued circling her opening, teasing her, then dipping inside a fraction, putting more of my finger inside her each time. She was so damn tight, and it took every ounce of control I had not to rip my pajama pants down, yank her clothing off, mount her and shove my way inside her so I could feel that tightness around my dick instead of my finger.
I wasn't going to do that, though. Not yet.
I progressed what I was doing with my finger, moving in and out of her slowly, grazing her clit with every other pass, listening to her mewls as I increased the speed. I was building her up, getting her used to what it felt like to have something inside her… because soon enough, it was going to be my dick instead of my finger. I kept it at one finger, though, because I didn't want to hurt her.
I kissed her neck, tasted her lips, nipped at her jaw, ran my tongue along any exposed skin I could reach and whispered dirty shit in her ear, all while I worked that pussy from the inside out. I may have rubbed my dick against her thigh, too, for my own relief, but it wasn't really a conscious move. I couldn't really be responsible for that shit when I was as hard as I was. Not to mention, I had some part of me inside her, so rubbing my dick on her was probably expected.
I knew she was getting close by the way her breathing changed and her body tensed up, but I wasn't doing quite enough to throw her over the edge.
"You look so good lying there with my hand between those legs," I whispered in her ear. "I can tell that you're close. Did you know that shit?" She moaned. "I can. I can feel the way your muscles are tightening around my finger. I bet your nipples have hardened too. I can hear it in the way you're breathing, the way your body is tensing up for it. You're ready for me to make you come, aren't you?"
She didn't respond, other than the moans, but I wanted to hear her say it.
"Tell me. Tell me you want me to make you come, and I'll make it happen."
"Please, Edward," she cried out. Her eyes were closed in tight slits, her body practically shaking against mine with the need for release.
"Please, what? Tell me."
"I want… to…"
"You want to, what?"
"I… Oh God, I want to come."
I nipped at her jaw. "Mmm… That's what I wanted to hear."
I pressed my thumb directly against her clit and began rubbing tight circles along her sensitive flesh. It wasn't long before her back arched, her head pushed back into the pillow, her legs started shaking, and a guttural groan echoed throughout the bedroom.
I didn't stop rubbing her or remove my hand from between her legs until her back was flat against the bed, and her eyes opened to stare over at me. Her hair was a mess, she looked thoroughly worked over, but she was fucking beautiful.
"That was…I don't even…"
I smiled down at her. "Did you like that shit?"
She blushed. "I have no words for that."
"Yeah, orgasms are pretty fucking amazing," I laughed. "And watching you have your first one, especially because I gave it to you, yeah, that shit almost made me come right in my pants." That was no lie.
She glanced around the room, then lowered her eyes to the bed, taking in the blankets that were now messed up. "We destroyed the bed."
I chuckled. "The blankets can be fixed later. Are you okay?"
That was the first time in I couldn't say how long where I asked someone that question, and the answer actually mattered.
"I'm fine, just tired."
"You want to go back to the house?"
She shook her head. "Not yet. Can we maybe lie here for awhile?"
"We can lie here as long as you fucking want."
Truth was, I just wanted to lie there for awhile and hold her, which is exactly what I did. It didn't matter that I was still hard as fuck. I'd take care of that shit later. I also didn't let myself really think about why she would have had a problem with my hand going under her shirt. There was time for that later, too.
Eventually, we'd get up and go inside the house. I'd go in my room, and she'd go into Alice's. But what came later, it had no place in this room with us right now. And the later, it had no goddamn bearing on the fact that right now, I actually felt alive… and felt very protective of Bella.

-OO-OO-

When I stepped out of my bedroom Sunday morning after getting ready for work, Bella was heading out of Alice's room, her bag of clothes and shit she'd brought with her strapped over her shoulder.
"You going home?" I asked.
She nodded. "Yeah. My dad is doing better now. Besides, Alice has plans with Jasper, and you'll be at work, so it's kind of pointless for me to hang out here."
I stepped toward her. "Are you, you know, coming by the store later?"
She smiled at me. "I'd like to, but I have a lot of homework to get caught up on. I was very distracted this weekend."
I wrapped my arms around her waist, bringing her body flush against mine. "Last I checked, you weren't complaining about that shit."
She blushed. "You're right, I wasn't."
Before I realized what she was doing, her arms were around my neck, yanking me toward her as she pressed her lips to mine. This was the first time Bella took the initiative to kiss me first. Admittedly, that shit was hot… and I was now hard.
I pulled my mouth from hers, clearing my throat before things went any further, like fucking her in the hallway. I was well on the verge of that idea becoming a reality. "I've got to go to work, but if you change your mind, you know where I'll be."
There was a glint in her eye, like she was plotting shit. "I know."
She cleared the couple inches distance between us, and I'll be damned if that pink tongue of hers didn't peek out of her mouth and somehow make its way across my bottom lip.
The only thing that stopped me from actually grabbing Bella, pressing her against the wall and fucking her like I initially considered, was the fact that Esme was making her way up the stairs at the precise moment Bella pulled away from me, smirking.
As she passed Esme on the stairs, she acted as if nothing happened. Me? Well, it wasn't that simple for me. I was standing there with a massive fucking erection and the need to scream at Esme for being an unknowing cockblocker.
Bella was so going to pay for that shit, even if it took me all through work to figure out how I was going to make it happen. I made sure she knew, in the form of a text, that paybacks were a bitch.

-OO-OO-

Monday morning came too soon.
After punching my fucking alarm clock, because I hated the bastard, I scratched both sets of fingers through my messy hair, then dragged them roughly down my face, as if doing so would bleed out my frustration.
My body felt pretty rough, probably because it was the first night in a long damn time that I'd fallen asleep without the help of some Patron. The nightmares starring my mom made another guest appearance, like they always did, but the difference this time was that I managed to wake up before I did any adventure walking in my sleep.
It took awhile to go back to sleep. I wasn't even trying, either. As a matter of fact, I was highly against it because I wasn't game for more of the mental pictures that initially woke me up, but my body decided it needed the shit to function, so guess what? I fucking fell asleep.
As stubborn as I knew I was, I probably would have thrown down an insomnia card in my subconscious, you know, like they did that 'get out of jail free' card shit in Monopoly. However, the second things went erotic, like the fact that I had Bella sprawled out on my bed, screaming my name because I was pounding the shit out of that pussy… Well, sleep became my best-fucking-friend.
So, needless to say, when that piece of shit alarm went off and interrupted the sight of dream Bella's come face, I was ready to dick punch someone. And all I got out of it was an aching dick that had no prospect of getting relief from anything other than my own goddamn hand. How did I feel about that? Well, I was so fucking ecstatic I was shitting rainbows.
I still whacked off in the shower, something I was doing so often that had there been any truth to whacking off so much you'd end up blind, my eyeballs would have liquefied from their sockets already.
By the time I was finished in the shower, most of the time spent with my hand around my dick, I had to rush to get ready and make it to school on time. It wasn't that I was anxious about getting to that hell hole for the sake of learning. I was actually hoping I'd see Bella before school started.
As I pulled into the school parking lot, I thought about what happened between us Saturday night. Touching her, making her come, being the first to give her that, it changed something inside of me. It was so much more than watching her experience something sexual for the first time. It was like she was letting me have all these pieces of her, like she saved them just for me. She was awakening, but so was I.
I actually felt like I had touched her soul. I realized then, all this carnality I'd been experiencing, it wasn't just about putting my dick in her, though I really wanted to do that. It was more about everything she made me feel, it hitting me so goddamn hard, and the only way I knew to even deal with it was just to fuck the hell out of her because I was closed off every other way.
She was changing that, though. Isabella Swan was changing every fucking thing.
I searched the lot as I got out of my car. Her truck was parked, but she wasn't inside it. I glanced down at my watch. There was ten minutes before class started, so there was still a chance she was at her locker.
I entered the glass doors, heading straight toward her locker, which incidentally took me past the hallway leading to my locker, but I didn't give a shit. I hadn't seen her since she went home on Sunday, so I was determined to see her.
She was standing there… with Alice. I would have waited until she was alone and shit, but the look on her face, even from the side, showed something was upsetting her. The same urge I felt last night to protect her kicked right the fuck in, pushing my legs to move toward her.
When I was in earshot, the conversation between them stunned me, because they were obviously talking about me.
"You need to tell him then."
"I know." Bella's voice strained. "I tried to tell him, but things ended up happening. And then he…" As Bella paused, Alice saw me, and her mouth dropped open. "I couldn't let him find out that way, not with his fingers. Edward… He just can't find out that way."
This is where I knew for sure I was the main topic of conversation, and this is also where things got interesting. Not only did I learn she was discussing the shit we'd done Saturday night with Alice, but I also learned she was hiding something from me. "What can't I find out?"
Bella spun around, clutching the collar of her turtleneck. The second her eyes locked on my face, tears formed in them. I had no idea what she was hiding from me, but I had a feeling it was some heavy shit, and I also knew I wasn't leaving her fucking locker until I found out what it was.

TUS - Chapter Ten: Labyrinth

I tried to understand the sensation as I glided my fingertips across my bottom lip. It was unlike anything I'd ever felt before. It definitely felt like an electrical current or something of equal power, but it wasn't painful. On the contrary, it was warm and intoxicating, like heated silk whispering along my skin. How I managed to feel that by sharing a touch with someone was beyond me.
Edward's gasp interrupted my reverie, so I glanced up, meeting shocked eyes. I instantly froze, terrified that whatever happened between us in that touch would set him back, that I'd lose the ground I'd gained with him. "I'm…uh…sorry." I ended up blurting out the first thing that came to mind, and it certainly wasn't that articulate.
Apologizing may not have been the right approach, but it wasn't as if I really knew what other approach to take. I was flying completely blind here. But my apology didn't seem to ease his tension, so I took a deep breath, doing the one thing I could think of; I told him the truth…sort of. "It's okay, Edward, that was just a static shock. It happens sometimes when people touch each other or touch something metal. It happens to me every now and then when I grab onto a door knob." He seemed to ease moderately, but there was something that passed within his eyes, something fleeting that I couldn't name, but my heart definitely reacted to.
I went on to explain further, I think more now for my benefit than his. I needed something to distract my racing heart and my thoughts from questioning my reaction. "Sometimes certain clothing you wear are good conductors of electricity, and you end up getting shocked when you touch someone or something. I know the subject is pretty drab, but-" I paused, chuckling uneasily. "I'm rambling on again, aren't I?" He simply stared at me.
I briefly met his gaze before shifting my attention to my watch; it was now just after seven. "Edward," I sighed as I glanced back up to his face. "I have to go, but I'll be back the same time in the morning, okay?" His only response was a nod, solidifying that he was done talking. I made sure everything was tucked away in my bag then made my way toward the doorway, pausing just over the threshold. "Okay, well, I'll see you tomorrow then."
He nodded once more, and I left, feeling a bit despondent that I wouldn't hear his voice beforehand.
When I arrived home, just entering through the front door, I heard Emmett yell from the kitchen, "Dad, where's the rest of the leftover lasagna? There was still some this morning before I left."
I nervously bit my lip as I faced the door, closing it softly to camouflage that I was home, but unfortunately for me, Charlie was heading into the kitchen at the same time.
"Hey, kiddo, are you sneaking in?" he asked in a sort of hmph/chuckle.
I jumped, abruptly turning around and placing my hand over my heart. "My God, Dad," I breathed out. "Don't do that, you scared me."
He furrowed his brows. "I was just walking into the kitchen, Bells, and I wasn't even doing it quietly. What's got you so on edge? Are you okay?" I knew the look upon his face very well, the one that said, "Something's up".
"I'm fine and nothing has me on edge, I was just a little lost in thought and didn't hear you."
"What were you thinking about?"
"It's nothing in particular," I said, giving him a small smile. What was wrong with me?
"Bella," he warned. "I know you better than that. What's going on? Did something happen at the hospital?" His voice changed, laced with underlying anger.
I immediately started toward the kitchen with Charlie in tow, acting as nonchalant as I could even though I was now blushing like I'd been caught red-handed doing something I shouldn't. "Seriously, Dad, it was really nothing. Just because I'd been in deep thought and got startled out of it doesn't mean anything happened. Why do you always assume that?"
Get yourself in check, Bella, or he'll see right through you. It's his job, what he's good at.
I knew why I was seemingly transparent, why my guard was down a fraction - it was all because of what happened between Edward and me. Because of that, because it was obviously affecting me for whatever reason, I was slipping up, but I needed to get a handle on myself quickly. Charlie was way too smart for my own good, and I was definitely acting suspicious.
I stopped at the kitchen table, placing my tote bag on one of the chairs, and turned around, facing Charlie and his incredulous gaze. Emmett was rummaging through the fridge, mumbling under his breath. He pivoted around on his heels as soon as he heard me. "Hey, do you know where that-" he paused as he looked between Charlie and me, the tension palpable. "What's going on?"
I placed my hand on my hip, forcing a playful smile upon my face. "Nothing's going on but Dad being in cop mode."
"That's not what this is, Bella, and you know it."
"Dad, you worry too much," I teased
"You're my daughter, so I can't help but worry about you. And you working in that place, then coming home acting strange, I-"
"I'm honestly fine, Dad," I interrupted, softening my tone further while forcing myself to make eye contact. "And I wasn't acting strange. There's really nothing going on, I'm just tired. I did work all day, remember?" I lifted an eyebrow. "I just think you see more than there is because I'm working at that hospital, and you don't like it. You're blowing me being startled, which is something that happens to a lot of people, way out of proportion and making something out of nothing. I promise, if anything bad happened to me, or there was something that upset me, I would tell you," I assured him.
"You're sure?" he asked.
I nodded, smiling. "Dad, you know me, you know how lost in thought I get; especially when I'm tired."
"She's right, Dad," Emmett chimed in. "She's really easy to sneak up on. I've done it more times than I can count. She can't help she's a scatterbrain."
My head snapped in his direction. "Thanks, Emmett," I said through gritted teeth.
"No problem, sis." He winked at me, and I realized he was deliberately deterring Charlie. Why, I wasn't sure, but I appreciated it all the same.
"Yeah, I guess so," Charlie agreed, shrugging. "I just worry about you being there, and I guess I get a little worked up because of what happened to you."
"I know, Dad." I cleared my throat, then sighed. "Alright, why don't you go sit down and I'll make you some dinner."
"Thank God." Emmett plopped his oversized body down on one of the kitchen chairs, folding his arms across his chest. "I'm starved."
I chuckled to myself, knowing that if it hadn't been for me, those two would be living off Hungry-Man meals.
After we finished eating, - more like they finished eating because I wasn't really hungry - Charlie, Emmett and I ended up watching Robocop on the flat screen. It wasn't exactly what I considered an entertaining evening, but I sat through it for Charlie. When the movie finished, I excused myself to bed. Charlie made sure to remind me that I was supposed to call Alice. I, of course, felt guilty afterward because she and I had spent so little time together lately, but I assured him I would before falling asleep.
I showered and changed into some comfortable pajamas before settling under my comforter and calling Alice. No sooner had she answered – after the second ring, I might add – she was reading me the riot act. "I've called your cell I don't know how many times today, Bella, but you never answer, and then you wait until late to call me back. You always used to answer. It's like you just don't want to talk to me anymore."
I couldn't very well talk to her while I was with Edward because he certainly garnered all my attention, and she didn't know about him anyway, but it wasn't as if I had service down in the boiler room. I couldn't tell her about Edward, so I settled for the latter. "That's not it, Alice. I don't get reception through most of the hospital. I'm sorry, okay?"
"You seem to be there an awful lot these days."
"I work there, so that's kind of expected."
"I know that, I just…I miss you, Bella, and I wanted to talk to you, tell you about my day."
"I miss you too, Alice. I'm not trying to avoid you, I promise. I just stay very busy working there," I explained. I could hear her sighing on the other end. "I don't wanna fight, Al. I'm sorry I haven't been around much, but I'm here now, okay? So what did you want to tell me?" She sighed again. "Alice," I coaxed in a playful tone. "You know you wanna tell me."
She giggled. "I can't stay mad at you, you know that?" We both laughed, and she proceeded to tell me about her lunch date with Jasper, how he finally kissed her, and how her lips tingled afterward. Of course, this got me thinking about Edward and the way I felt when our fingers touched. I realized swiftly that was a thought I didn't need to be ideating, so I forced myself not to think about it and just listen to Alice.
By the time our conversation ended, two things occurred; I was completely exhausted – both mentally and physically - and I did in fact learn how her entire day went. I finally hung up the phone, but not before being made to promise that we'd do something together over the weekend, and settled into bed.
I'd just started falling asleep when I heard a knock at my door, then it partially opening. "Bella, can I come in for a sec?"
I rubbed at my eyes, grinding out the sleep. "Yeah, Emmett, come in."
"Sorry," he whispered. "I know you were sleeping, I'll only take a minute."
"What is it?" I may have come off agitated, and to be honest, I was. I was tired, and all I wanted to be doing right now was sleeping.
"I wanted to talk to you about earlier, about what happened between you and Dad."
Not only did he have bad timing for conversation, but he brought up a topic I was anxious about discussing too. I was hoping what happened earlier was long forgotten. "I'm gonna tell you the same thing I told dad, nothing is-"
"Bella," he interjected. His expression and tone were so serious, I actually felt panic settle in my bones. "I know what's going on. I know what you're hiding."
I felt like someone had just punched me in the chest while stealing away the air I needed to breathe. How could he know? How did he find out? What did this mean for Edward now? "I…I-"
"It's okay, I won't tell Dad or anything. It's nothing to be ashamed of, Bella, so I'm not sure why you think you need to hide it." He sat down on the bed beside me, and actually patted my leg like I was a little child needing reassurance. "These things do happen."
"Are you…are you serious?" I questioned incredulously, my voice rising with the question. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. "You act like that is normal." He chuckled, shaking his head. "Why are you laughing?" I growled. "It's not funny."
"I realize it's new to you," he laughed. "But you aren't the first person to have a crush on someone."
"I can't-" My words caught in the back of my throat just as my brain finally understood the crazy he was speaking. "Wait, what?"
"I take that back," he smirked. "Crushing on Mike Newton isn't normal, but who am I to judge?"
I may have vomited a little in my mouth while my ears tried to curl up inside my head so I'd go deaf. "Whoa, hold up there, big fella. What makes you think I have a crush on…" I had to swallow against the bile just saying his name, "Mike Newton."
His smile faded. "You don't? I mean, he said that he believed you were interested because of the way you looked at him, and he thought he'd seen your truck pass his house a few times in the evening, so I-"
"Of course I pass his house, Emmett." I cut him off. "He lives on the main highway."
"So you don't have a crush on him then?" he asked. "Then why would Dad-"
"Okay," I admitted quickly. It was either allow him to believe I actually liked Mike Newton, or give him a reason to question me further, and I wasn't willing to do that, not when the cost was Edward. I had to silently plead with God to keep me from hurling before I finished speaking. "You caught me, you know my secret now. I have a crush on Mike. I…uh…can't help it, he's just so hot." My stomach was now turning. "Please don't say anything, though, because I'm not ready to be outed yet."
"I won't say anything," he promised. "But you really need to stop driving past his house like a crazy person. People might constitute that as stalking, Bella."
"Right, I'll just drive through the forest next time I go to and from the hospital," I mumbled sarcastically.
"What's that?"
"Oh, I'll try to keep it to a minimum, but it'll be hard to do. He's like a magnet, he just draws me right in." I tried to appear lovesick, but hiding the fact that I was actually cringing wasn't that simple. "But…uh…thanks for the advice, Emmett."
"Yeah, you're welcome." He sniffled a little as he threw his shoulders back, appearing smug. I imagined he was probably mentally fistpumping himself, or at the very least, giving himself a virtual pat on the back. "Anyway, I'll let you get back to sleep. Goodnight, Bella."
"Goodnight, Emmett."
With my stomach now aggravated and my brain feeling like it trekked through a maze today, I was positive sleep was not something I'd achieve much of.
When I arrived at the hospital, I didn't see Marcus anywhere around - though I didn't actually go looking for him either. So I headed down to the boiler room and left the chicken and dumplings I prepared for him as lunch on his workbench with a little note, telling him that despite the fact that he'd asked me to stop bringing him food, I couldn't in great conscious leave him to eat sandwiches or greasy fast food while Edward and I enjoyed a home cooked meal. And once I secured the note to the plastic food container, I made my way to Edward.
Edward had surprised me many times before, and I suppose I should have been more acclimated to that happening again, but when I walked inside that room, seeing him seated against his wall, eyes closed while listening to my iPod, my heart nearly burst in my chest. I was so proud. It wasn't a smug proud, it was an "Oh, my God, you amaze me" proud.
I had no idea if he'd actually listen to it, but that was the purpose in leaving it with him, to give him something to keep him entertained and feel a part of. He'd be a part of the music and that would hopefully help drown out whatever plagued him when I couldn't be there to help do that for him. I know music certainly helped me when I was somber.
I could have stood there watching him that way all day, and I would have if he hadn't noticed me. But the moment he did, he pulled the earbuds from his ears, his eyes drifting up to meet mine. "Hey." I swallowed against the emotion building in my throat. "I'm glad you were listening to it." I pointed to the iPod; he was still holding it within his hand. "Did you like it?"
He stared at me for a moment then nodded, whispering, "I did."
"I have a lot of songs on there," I told him as I sat down, back pressed against the wall, tote bag settled beside me. "I like all different genres." I watched his gaze fall from me to the iPod. "I don't know how long you listened to it, so the battery may need to be charged, but I could do that for you and then bring it back."
He once again made eye contact, and I smiled. "Okay."
He slowly moved forward, pushing his arm out toward me, then suddenly stopped, pulling back a few inches. He glanced between me and his hand, and I couldn't help but wonder if what happened yesterday made him a little weary about having any more physical contact with me. "Edward, you don't have to hand it to me, okay? You can toss it or slide it over to me." Sliding it would obviously scratch it, considering the ground was cement, but I'd deal. I was looking at the bigger picture, and Edward being comfortable was more important.
He shook his head.
"It's okay," I assured him. "I don't want you to do something you aren't comfortable with. And if you're not comfortable with handing it to me, then-"
"No," he whispered, shaking his head, effectively ending my words. "Take it….Bella"
He leaned forward even more, sticking his arm out again, but his eyes were focused on the iPod within his hand, and I could see the appreciation he held for it. That appreciation was what led him to move toward me. I eased my body forward and, when I was in arm's length of him, I reached out, wrapping my fingers around the iPod. Once again, the sensation coursed through my fingertips, traveling through my body until it stopped at the nerve endings in my toes, bursting into little starbursts of warmth.
Edward inhaled sharply, exhaling his words on a jagged breath, "So warm."
He felt it too, and it was obviously more than just static shock. That was no longer an explanation I could factor into what was happening. I couldn't even be sure what was happening or why it was happening now. Did this mean we had some kind of a connection? Was I meant to save him all along?