TUS and CF Posting Schedule

I asked some time last week opinions on posting schedule, whether readers would like a weekly post of 6-7000 word chapters, or if they'd like biweekly longer chapters on a set day. The majority of those answering either said biweekly or whatever I was comfortable with.

Honestly, with my kids being out of school and my son being in baseball, it would be so much easier for me to update biweekly. So, here's how the scheduling will go...

Chancing Fate:

Teaser: Tuesday (biweekly)
Chapter post: Wednesday (biweekly)


The Unaccompanied Soul:

Teaser: Thursday (biweekly)
Chapter post: Friday (biweekly)

For Keeps 

Teaser: Thursday (weekly)
Chapter post: Friday (weekly) 


Now, Chancing fate won't really increase much in length, but The Unaccompanied Soul will. I'm not saying they'll be disgustingly long chapters, but probably a few thousand words longer. No biggie, right?

FK - Chapter Five: Becoming More

I know, this chapter has been a LONG time coming. Now, you all know this is a love triangle fic, and right now, Jas and B are together, and this chapter does have some Jas/B lovin'. If you can't handle that, don't read any further. Now, some good news for our E lovers.... Guess who's coming back next chapter? ;)   

Thank you as always to my amazing beta/editor, Iris. ILY, bb!

Okay, on with the show!

Chapter 5: Becoming More

“Forever”

In the brightest hour of my darkest day

I realized what is wrong with me

Can't get over you. Can't get through to you

It's been a helter-skelter romance from the start

Take these memories that are haunting me

The trip back to my apartment was probably the longest trip I’d ever made. My tires made a sloshing sound against the wet concrete as they coasted down the street toward home, and, in comparison, I felt pretty run over like the road.

It had been hard to pretend that I wasn’t disappointed with how abruptly the night ended, but a situation occurred, needing Jasper’s attention, so here I was on my way back home.  I, of course, took it as a sign.

It was almost as if something cosmic was defying any minute chance of me having any kind of a relationship. There was always something standing in the way of having someone in my life that could end up being my other half. I didn’t understand it, either. I led a pretty decent life, and yet, I was still alone. 

One night impacted the last two fucking months of my life. Who allows that to happen? No one but me, obviously.

I passed the blur of lights coming from buildings on either side of me, my mind overcome with the same thoughts that seemed to constantly bombard me while interweaving with new ones.  I’d never been more confused.

I couldn’t get Edward out of my system, even two months later, then Jasper comes into the picture. Now, not only did I constantly think about Edward, even miss him, the man who I only had one night with, but I had an attraction to Jasper, too. I strongly liked him.

 It was insane, this situation I found myself in. It seemed that something always set me back from moving forward. And honestly, given how I felt, it wasn’t entirely fair to Jasper to attempt a relationship.

 It wasn’t that I was non-committal in the relationship sense, because I was very committal, but the question was… Who did I actually want to be committed to? And really, why was I asking myself this question when one of the two men wasn’t an option?

After parking my car and literally banging my forehead against the steering wheel out of frustration, I took a deep breath, telling myself to quit being melodramatic and made my way up to my apartment.

 Unfortunately, walking into my apartment only reinforced the dramatics. It was funny how the climate changed as soon as you stepped into a place that held no life but your own fucking loneliness and disappointment. That kind of coldness blanketed the air and made you shiver in sorrow. You could even taste it in your mouth.  It was definitely not a fun place to be.

And, of course, feeling that way made me angry at myself because I hated dwelling. Feeling as unhappy as I did was almost absurd, because I had a decent life as far as monetary, but the truth was, I was very unhappy, and there were days when it got the best of me, chiseling away at my insides. What was the point to living comfortably when you had no one to share it with? I guess meeting two incredible men, that it seemed fate had not intended for me, made the desolation that was my life more astute.

I padded through the hallway to my room, heading directly to my closet to pull out something dry. I took off my wet clothes and changed into the t-shirt and a pair of boy shorts. I was home now, so it wasn’t as if I needed to be dressed up anymore.

I threw back my comforter and climbed underneath. I knew Jasper had intended to call if it wasn’t too late, but I might as well be comfortable while I waited. I flipped on the television, settling on Some Like It Hot playing on AMC. 

I snuggled up under the covers, watching Marilynn Monroe do her thing.

Time seemed to pass while I watched the movie, but no phone call came. I lay there waiting, hoping to at least hear his voice before I went to bed. Unfortunately, it seemed that wasn’t going to happen. My eyes fell shut as the exhaustion set in. I dozed off.

I wasn’t sure how long I was asleep when the sound of banging jolted me awake. I shot straight up in my bed, my heart racing from the sound. The banging started again, and I realized it was knocking. I looked at the clock beside my bed, red lights glaring a twelve o’clock across it. Who the fuck could be knocking at my door at twelve o‘clock?

I grabbed the knee length robe draped over my bedpost, slipped it on, and moved to the door. My only thought was that whoever was at my door had better have a damn good excuse at this late an hour. I opened the door, prepared to bitch someone out, but my mouth dropped open instead. 

“I’m sorry, Bella. I should have waited, or at least called you, but I couldn‘t wait. From the moment you walked out of my door, you were constantly on my mind. Calling just didn’t seem good enough. I had to see you.” Before I had time to process what he’d just said, Jasper was through my door, his arms were on the inside of my robe, already around me, and his body pressed against mine while his lips hungrily moved over my own.

My arms wrapped around his neck, my hands running through his hair and fisting handfuls through my fingers. My body sparked with desire from his touch. 

I pulled my lips from his, gasping for air and trying to manage the ability to speak. I wanted him in the worst way, but I didn’t want him to feel obligated simply because our date didn’t go according to plan. “Jasper, I…” 

He quickly silenced me with one of his fingers against my lips. “No talking, beautiful.” His hands reached underneath my thighs, lifting me up into his arms. I locked my legs around his waist as he walked us toward my bedroom. He crashed his lips to mine, pushing his tongue into my mouth.

As my mind realized what was about to happen, what my body was going to receive that it hadn’t in such a long time, I moaned into Jasper’s mouth.

We brushed against the wall in the hallway a few times before we finally made it into my bedroom. I knew we were near the bed when I felt the post rub my leg as we passed it. Jasper climbed on the bed with me still wrapped around him, settling us so that my head was resting against the pillows and he was on top of me.

He was nestled between my legs, but lifted up on his elbows to stare down at me. His eyes were smoldering with lust, and the desire that was apparent within them had me nearly writhing in anticipation of what was to come. 

Once clothing began finding its way to the floor, my eyes darted to his arms, watching the way the muscles twitched underneath with the movements he was making.

He drug his fingers lightly across the flesh of my stomach, goosebumps trailed the path his fingers took.

His eyes roamed from my face down to the parts of my body that were visible to him. I was completely exposed other than my boy shorts. I thought his next intention was to remove them, but he lowered himself back down on me, pressing his lips hard to mine. He parted my lips, pushing his tongue back into my mouth. The taste of him was exquisite, though much different from Edward. The flavor wasn’t quite as sweet, but intoxicating all the same.

The kiss intensified, our lips pushing and pulling hard against each other’s. His right hand moved slowly up my body, caressing. His fingers started off delicately, before they, too, reacted as greedy as his mouth. The feeling actually teetered between pleasure and pain, but the mere act had me so turned on, literally every nerve ending in my body ached from desire.

While his fingers expertly worked over my body, he moved his lips from mine, nipping and licking a trail from my jaw line down my collarbone, moving further down still. 

As his tongue tasted every part of me he could without removing his body from mine, my arousal intensified to the point the juices from my center coated the fabric that concealed it. 

He moved his hands to either side of my waist and began grinding his erection into me. I whimpered loudly when I felt how turned on he was.

He thrust against me a few more times before he moved his left hand between my legs, running his fingers over the fabric and making a trail along the length of my sex. “Jesus, Bella, you’re so…” His words tapered off,  breathy. “I want to feel you. God… I just… I really wanna feel you right now.” He pushed against the material, feeling how wet I was for him. I lifted my hips, using my body to plead for more. But not from his fingers. I knew they could satisfy me to climax, but I wanted something more. I wanted another part of him inside me.

“Jasper… please, I need you,” I pleaded.

There was no hesitation to his actions, no delay to hold him back from what we both needed. And there was nothing graceful about our actions, because we were purely driven by lust, and until he was inside of me, no movement to reach that desired effect would be quick enough for either of us.

There was no clothing left between us, no barrier to stop us from joining. I reached into my night stand, pulling out a condom and handed it to him. He quickly placed it on, then was seated back between my legs. I literally shook with need. I couldn’t wait any longer. 

And I didn’t have to. He hitched my left leg higher around his waist… then he was inside me. My body had been so wound with need that the moment he entered me, I nearly orgasmed. I was on the brink, right there, ready to plunge over the edge of intense pleasure. 

Jasper’s eyes squeezed shut, making tiny slits as he groaned out loudly. He could feel me tightening around him.

His breathing magnified and echoed the room. He ceased movement within me until his body was calmed enough to proceed. I knew that my body’s response was the reason for his paced movements. He needed to find control. 

He continued with slow, steady thrusts, and though it felt so damn good, I needed more from him. I bucked my hips underneath him to increase the pace in which he was moving within me. I didn’t want slow and cautious. It was a reminder of the one before him, the one I was trying to forget. So I urged for much harder and much faster. His eyes locked with mine, and a beautiful smile formed on his face. He knew what I wanted and seemed all too willing to give it to me.

His hips began working harder against mine, so that now he was pumping freely in and out of my body. The sound of slick skin slapping against skin and moans echoed through the room. There wasn’t a place from my chest to my lips that his mouth hadn’t tasted, but he continued to thrust into me with abandon.

I felt the start of my orgasm in the pit of my gut, working its way between my thighs. I knew it was coming, and I thought I had a little more time to enjoy how Jasper felt moving inside me, but he circled his hips, pushing deep within me while hitting my pleasure spot with the tip of his cock, and I came hard, crying out through the pleasure that rocked my body. 

Circling his hips a few more times, Jasper then gave one final, hard thrust into me. His movements ceased and a deep groan escaped his throat as he came. I watched his face, the way his eyes practically rolled into the back of his head and his expression teetered between pleasure and pain. Honestly, it was beautiful to see.

Suddenly, his body collapsed above mine, and I wrapped my arms around him, feeling his heart beat frantically while his chest heaved with staccato breaths.

We laid there for some time, calm and quiet, before he finally excused himself to the bathroom. When he came back, he moved beside me on the bed, where we remained, naked, side by side, staring into each other’s eyes. He finally spoke, his voice barely above a whisper. “Do you have any idea how truly remarkable you are?”

I smiled. “No, but I’m hoping you’ll enlighten me with the details.”

He laughed, then leaned forward, giving me a chaste but sweet kiss. “You really are beautiful, Bella, but it’s not just outward, though you are indeed a sight to look at. You have an inner beauty that is rare these days. Not to mention, you have this awesome sense of humor, and you’re unbelievably grounded. It’s like you don’t realize how gorgeous you really are, or maybe it just doesn’t matter. I’d say it’s a bit of both. But honestly, I find you quite amazing.”

“I could say the same about you, Jasper.” I ran my fingers through his damp hair as I spoke. “You’re good to the core, and what you just said made me feel good to the core.” 

He smirked. “Oh, darlin’, I could spend days on end making you feel good to your core.”

My mouth dropped open, and, of course, I had a hard time pronouncing any word due to the fact that my own  seemed to stall at the back of my throat. “Shit, Jasper, if you’re aiming for round two, it’s working rather well.”

He pulled me flush against his warm body, nuzzling his face into the crook of my neck, as his laughter filled the room. “Baby girl, I’d have no problem with a round two. As a matter of fact, I fully intended on it.”

I realized swiftly, I was in for a long night.

***

Jasper and I had been dating a little over a month now, though we weren’t very public with our relationship. The success of his band picked up, and I’d never been more proud of him. People knew his face when they passed him on the street, which was why I preferred our privacy. He agreed after I explained how I felt. I believed what was ours was ours alone, that what we had was not for anyone to have an opinion about. But our affection for one another was never marred by restraint behind closed doors.

I often stayed at his apartment, that was, of course, when he wasn’t commuting to some other city for his band. There were times I’d tag along, but my work schedule made it hard to go very often. I missed him when he was gone, and we talked often while he was away.

I’d made friends quickly with the other band members… Well, all but Alice. It wasn’t for my lack of trying, though. It was obvious to me she had feelings for Jasper, to which he brushed off when I mentioned it, saying they were only friends and I was reading too much into things. I certainly knew better, which was why I was positive she was thrilled when I was unable to attend their shows.

In the time Jasper and I had been together, my feelings deepened for him, but I wasn’t really positive that I was in love with him. I knew that I cared deeply, he made me happy, but I felt like a part of me was holding back, and I wasn’t sure why. I often wondered if maybe it had to do with something that might be wrong with me emotionally. 

It wasn’t that I doubted myself being able to love him, because, in all honestly, who couldn’t? He was the total package; gorgeous, loving, funny and everything that a girl could want. If I had to give an answer as to where I saw myself with Jasper, I would have to say that I was definitely falling for him, I just hadn’t taken the full plunge yet, hence my question about something being wrong with me. 

So, here I sat at my desk, trying to block out the feeling of exacerbation around my dick of a boss while once again contemplating my relationship with Jasper... as far as taking it to the next level. 

He’d been gone for a few days now, touring in Washington, and we really hadn‘t had a chance to speak much. I missed talking to him.

 I had a key to his apartment, so over the last few days, I stayed there, snuggling with his pillow at night. I didn’t feel so alone without him around that way.

Five o’clock came, and I was actually getting off work at my expected time. The plan was to head to my apartment to take care of a few things, grab some more clothing, then go to his place. Though, most of my wardrobe and necessities migrated to his place, I still had a few things I needed.

When I came home, I noticed most of the tenants standing outside. I didn’t see the building in flames, so I had no clue what was going on.

As I approached my apartment building, I saw the tenant below me, Lauren, and decided to ask her. “Lauren, what’s going on? Why is everyone waiting outside? I don’t see fire trucks or smoke.”

Her arms were crossed at her chest. She looked a mix of angry and broken-hearted. “Hey, Bella. You remember when the super said he had the piping fixed in your apartment?” I nodded. “Well, he lied.”

I felt my chest tighten. “What do you mean he lied?” 

Her tone was angry but not directed toward me. “Apparently, he decided to go cheap on us. He wrapped the piping in duct tape, then covered it up with a connector, figuring that would hold it together. He was wrong. It busted today, flooding your apartment and a portion of the second floor before it made its way to the bottom floor, mainly my apartment since I‘m underneath you. What the hell was he thinking?”

“My fucking apartment is flooded?” I shrieked.

“Yours and mine both,” she said through gritted teeth. “It’s a mess. Of course, to save face, he’s putting us up in a hotel until the damage is fixed, but there are things that were in my apartment that can‘t be replaced. I‘m sure you have some yourself.”

“I don’t need a hotel. I have somewhere to go, but fuck. Those were all my possessions in there. Everything I own is in that apartment,” I growled.

“Believe me, Bella, I understand.” Tears spilled down her cheeks. “Pictures of my deceased parents were in my photo albums, and now they’re just gone. All I have left are memories now, and I’m afraid… I’m afraid over time I’ll forget their faces. I can’t forget their faces, Bella. I needed those pictures.”

My heart ached for her. I couldn’t begin to imagine the pain she felt inside. But she was right. The older we get, the less clear our mind projects our memories.

I wrapped my arms around her, hugging her to me. “I’m so sorry, Lauren. I know it doesn’t amount for anything, and it surely can’t bring back your pictures, but I’m really sorry.” I held her to me, letting her cry out her anguish. When her body finally ceased it’s shaking from the sobs, I pulled away to look at her. “I have to go, but I don’t want to leave you if you’re not okay.”

She wiped at the remainder of the tears that were slowly making a trail down her cheeks. “No, you go. Get yourself settled in. I’ll be alright. I need to find out what hotel I’m going to be at and see what he intends to do about the property damage in our apartments.”

“Well, I’m going to have a few words with our lovely super before I leave. I do work for a lawyer, so I expect that we’ll be compensated well for our loss, especially since it was his negligence that caused this mess to begin with.” I was in no way joking around and beyond seething with anger. Lauren’s turmoil only fueled it more.

I searched out Mr. Phelps, our super, and discussed exactly what I expected to be done about the damage. I made it a point to stress that I would round up all the damaged items in my home and calculate the cost to replace what could be and the amount of compensation for what could not… with the help of my lawyer boss, of course.

One mention of the word lawyer and exactly who that lawyer was, he became more cooperative. I also made it clear that Lauren and any other tenants who suffered property damage would be expecting the same cooperation with their personal effects. 

When I finally finished issuing my demands, I gave Lauren one last hug, telling her everything would be alright, and headed back to my car.

I drove the distance to Jasper’s place, anger and dread seeping from every pore of my body. There were many things that could be replaced, but I had old family heirlooms and pictures that most likely were ruined forever.

When I finally got to Jasper’s apartment, I immediately took the steps to his room so that I could find some comfortable clothing to change into. I was too wired at the moment, not in a good way, and I needed to unwind. 

After changing into a comfortable pair of pajama pants and tank-shirt, I strode back down the stairs to make me something for dinner. I was actually in the middle of preparing a salad when my cell rang. I answered it after the second ring, but because of the tune that played, I knew it was Jasper. I was definitely happy to hear from him, but my anger hadn’t completely dissipated yet. “Hey, babe.”

“Hey, beautiful, I’ve missed you,” he said.

“I’ve missed you, too,” I answered. It was only after the words came out that I realized they didn’t sound as sincere as they usually did.

He noticed. “Uh-oh. I know that tone. Did I do something wrong?”

He was gone, I missed him, and I felt shitty for allowing my anger to interfere with the time we had, intentional or not. “No, babe, it’s not you. You didn’t do anything wrong,” I stressed. “You know how my days are at work.” I could practically hear him nod through the phone. “They’re pretty much always a disaster, but it wasn’t work that really topped the fucking cake for me today. I’ve been staying here at your place while you were gone because I've missed you, so I went to my apartment to get a few things and found out that my ass of a super never fixed the piping in my apartment. He put duct tape around it and a piece of shit connector that slid right off, so my apartment, a portion of the building and the one below it is now flooded.”

I heard him gasp at the other end. “Are you serious?”

“Unfortunately, yes,” I responded. “So, I hope you don’t mind an extra guest until it’s fixed.”

“You know better than that,” he chuckled. “I love when you stay over, even if I’m not there. I’ll be home tomorrow, so you won‘t be there by yourself anymore. I was actually hoping you’d be around, anyway. I’ve got a friend coming back with me. I’d like you to meet him.” His tone was excited.

“Oh, I get to meet one of your groupies, eh?” I teased. Hearing his voice had a calming effect on me. I realized in hearing his voice, I actually missed him more than I let on.

“E is hardly a groupie,” he laughed. “Besides, I think you’ll really like him. I may have to send him out for a few hours when I get home, though. I plan to ravish you as soon as I walk through that door.”

I giggled into the phone as I finished preparing my salad. “Well, I suppose he’ll just have to disappear for awhile then, because I have every intention of allowing you to ravish me.” 

“I didn’t think you’d mind.” The laughter turned to sincerity. “I miss you, Bella. More than you realize. I can’t wait to be home and hold you.”

My heart thumped heavily in my chest. “I can’t wait, either. I miss you, too, babe.”

Silence ensued from his end of the conversation. I knew he was thinking, and I wondered if it had anything to do with what he wanted to say. “I really need to go, but I will see you tomorrow. I… I just miss you.”

“I just miss you, too,” I told him. “And I can’t wait for tomorrow. I’ll see you then, baby.”

“Goodnight, beautiful.” The phone went silent.

I was excited about him coming home tomorrow and wondered what this friend of his was like. If he and Jasper were close, then he must be great. 

I placed my cell on the counter and grabbed a plate, adding my salad before sitting at the barstool to eat. When I finished, I cleaned up the mess and headed upstairs. It was nearly eight o’clock, still kind of early for a Friday night, but I decided to settle into bed, curling up with Jasper’s pillow to watch a movie.

I was half-way through Cops and Robbersons when my eyes felt heavy, repeatedly closing as I fought to keep them open and finish the movie.

Tomorrow would bring Jasper home, along with the mystery guest that he seemed so amped up about me meeting.

FK - Chapter Four: Date Night

Chapter 4: Date Night

"Let me get this straight…" Jess paused, her brows raised in question while she propped her arm up on the table, fisting her hand so that her head could rest against it. "You two went for a walk, came back here for coffee, which ended up in a heated kiss, and he just went home afterward without trying to sleep with you... umm... even though he wanted to?"
I nodded. "Pretty much."
Her face contorted into a mass of lines that showed her confusion. "And you just let him leave?"
"Yes," I said as I finished the last bite of my Cesar salad. "I did. He was right, Jess. Look what happened the last time I slept with someone I barely knew. It's been two months, and I still can't forget that night or him. I have so many what-ifs going through my mind because of that night. I don't like it. I don't like not having closure, and I feel like there was so much more that could have been said or done, but it's too late now. Besides, I really like Jasper, and I don't want to make the same mistake with him. I think we made the right decision to wait."
"Well, I guess. I mean, you have to go at your own pace, right? You're a far better person than I am, Bella. Had it been me, that kiss would have at least ended with some serious dry humping. How you both were able to walk away with nothing more is beyond me. Kudos to you, because I couldn't have done it," she stated pointedly.
"It wasn't as if it were easy, Jess. I was very turned on, but he had a valid point. It's about more than just sex. I mean, it happens because there's attraction, yeah, but if you couldn't already tell, I'm not getting any younger. I'd like a real relationship with substance instead of sitting at home alone talking to a chia pet that clearly doesn't answer back, eating fucking bon-bons and watching love stories that make me hate my life even more. I'm tired of being alone, and I'm tired of sitting here waiting for someone to come along on their white horse and carry me away to fucking princess land. It's not going to happen. This thing with Jasper is what I need right now. I like him, and I want to see where it leads," I said, taking a deep breath and settling back in my seat.
Her eyebrow arched in amusement. "Are you saying this to convince me, or are you saying it to convince yourself?"
"What's that supposed to mean?" I questioned.
"Edward Cullen. That's what that means," she said. "Come on, Bella. It's been two months, and he hasn't once tried to look you up, yet you still have a thing for him. He knew your name. How hard would it be to find you? He's gorgeous, don't get me wrong, but I don't get the attachment. It was one night. Jasper is sitting right here, and he seems to really like you. If you don't forget about the night you spent with Edward, it's going to plague any chance you have with Jasper. Seriously, look at this from the logical side. Edward could have any woman he wants, and he probably does so as often as he wants. Why waste your time on a memory of a man who is too far out of our league? Take that night for what it was… a one-night stand."
She was right, but it was easier said than done. How could I explain how he had affected me when I didn't understand myself? Regardless, I was determined to forget him.
"Jess, my number is unlisted."
She cocked her head to the side, her expression clearly reiterating that she thought I was delusional.
"Of course you're right." I nodded my head, but swallowed roughly against the knot in my throat that told me otherwise. "I just happened to be the choice for the evening." I told myself that, but it was a hard pill to swallow because I truly believed it was just one of those things that happened. In the time I spent with Edward, womanizing didn't seem his style, but then again, appearances could be deceiving.
Sleeping with him, it wasn't planned, but maybe if I convinced myself it was and it meant nothing, then maybe it would be a hell of a lot easier letting his memory go. "It doesn't matter now. It's long been over, and I feel like a loser for even dwelling on it when I'm sure he's not had a single thought about me after that night. I really do like Jasper, and I want to spend time with him."
She smiled. "Then do that. Just enjoy yourself because you deserve to." Her smile widened. "You know what would really be crazy? This is all hypothetical, of course, but what if you and Jasper became an item and because he's a musician too, you ended up running into Edward Cullen? How awkward would that be?"
"Not fucking funny," I chastised. "And I'm not even going to dignify that statement with an answer."
The remainder of Friday evening played out as usual, though I'd substituted my normal lean cuisine meal for an Angus burger. I was sitting on the couch watching Pretty Woman when the phone rang. Immediately, my heart began pounding in my chest. I knew who it would be.
"Hello," I said, trying to hide the excitement in my voice.
"Hello, Beautiful. I promised I'd call. It's not a bad time, is it?" Jasper asked.
My knee began to bob up and down. I actually felt giddy. I was like a fucking school girl all over again. "No, it's not a bad time at all. I'm glad you called."
He chuckled. "Good. I'm glad I called too. So, how has your day been?"
"Eventful," I said. "Work was shitty as usual because my boss is a dick. Other than that, it's been good, and it got even better as soon as you called."
"I know what you mean," he laughed. "I felt better the moment I heard your voice. I wanted to talk to you all day, but my schedule didn't allow it. I was determined that I'd talk to you at some point today."
"Jasper," I began. "About last night, I-"
"I'm sorry to interrupt, Bella, but I feel like I should say this before anything more is said about what happened." I could hear him breathing on the other end. "Things are hectic in my life right now. Between playing with my band, which takes up a lot of my time, and working to make the rest of the ends meet, I don't have a lot of time outside of that for anything else."
My heart sank and defeat settled in, but I tried to keep my voice light. "I understand. I don't expect you to hold to our date, but I appreciate that you called personally to cancel."
"I wasn't finished," he said. "I was trying to say that even though my schedule is a bit of an obstacle, I want to take you out, and I really enjoy spending time with you. I want to keep spending time with you. Last night was amazing, and believe me, I wanted to stay, but I felt you deserved better from me. I don't want you to think that I'm pursuing you simply because I want to sleep with you."
"But you do want to sleep with me, though," I teased.
Apparently, tact was not part of my vocabulary these days.
"Honestly?" he questioned.
"Yes, honestly," I answered.
"Very much so. You have no idea how much I didn't want to leave. The thing is, my parents taught me to treat a woman with respect. I'm certainly not implying I'm perfect, because I'm far from it. It's not as if I never got in trouble at school and home, because I did, but respecting someone is something I take to heart."
And just as if a switch had been flipped, his voice changed, low and seductive, melting over my skin like warm butter. "However, since we're laying everything out on the table, had we already been out on an official date, nothing would have been able to force me to leave."
I chuckled. "Oh, I see. So you're saying you would have rocked my world, right?"
Laughter resonated through the phone. "I definitely would have rocked your world.""Tease," I stated matter of fact.
The seductive drawl was eclipsed by a note of seriousness. "I was in no way teasing. I was stating fact, Darlin'."
I caught myself mid-whimper, then cleared my throat to recover. Unfortunately, he'd heard the noise I made. I knew he did because I could actually hear the smile turn up his lips over his stunted breathing. I needed to change the subject now, or plans would shift from enjoying a movie once our conversation was over to self-gratification.
"Okay, how about that date tomorrow night. What's on the agenda?"
He chuckled. I had no doubt now that my reaction was exactly what he'd aimed for. "Well, I had initially planned on inviting you over to my place for a candle light dinner. I was going to cook for you, but I thought maybe you'd prefer going out somewhere. Afterward, we could see a movie or go dancing. It's your choice."
"A home cooked meal sounds amazing," I chimed in. "I wouldn't really know, though, because I'm fail at cooking."
"A home cooked meal it is, then. Around seven?" he questioned.
"Seven sounds good." I nodded, though I knew he couldn't see me – it was a force of habit.
He gave me his address, and we talked a while longer. "Alright, Beautiful, I need to get some shut eye, but I'll see you tomorrow night. I'm looking forward to cooking for you."
"Okay," I said, yawning. "I'm pretty tired, too. I'll see you tomorrow night, Jasper. Sleep well."
"Goodnight, Gorgeous," he said before hanging up.
I placed the phone back on the receiver and padded sluggishly down the hallway, barefoot, to bed. It was no time before my eyelids were too heavy to open and consciousness drifted away, unchaining the fucking mirage of thoughts that I buried away while awake into a dream sequence of the man I should have already let go.

-OO-OO-

Most of Saturday consisted of really early spring cleaning… or really late, depending on how you looked at it. I needed something to distract my focus and pass the time. Foof even managed to get his much needed trimming, which required a damn weed whacker because his little Chia bush was thick.
By the time 5:30 rolled around, I was so emotionally amped. I'd managed to clean every area of my apartment… twice. And no, I'm not OCD.
This was the first actual date I'd had in I have no fucking clue how long, and I was really nervous about it. I liked Jasper, I was definitely attracted to him, but I suppose my nervousness centered around the fact that I knew what our date could lead to tonight, especially since we'd be in his apartment… alone.
I tried to still my rattled nerves and get myself presentable. I went with the casual look simply because that was my style. I wore a pair of faded jeans that settled low around my hips, a white short-sleeve cami top and a pair of brown strappy heels. The outfit was pretty chic looking.
After I finished my makeup and styled my hair – I left it down, but accentuated the curl with a little mousse - I grabbed my purse and headed to my car. The moment I sat in the driver's seat and started the car, I felt a lump form in my throat. I had so many emotions swirling through me, even guilt, making me feel like a tilt-a-whirl of emotions. Really, what the fuck did I have to be guilty for? I was single. So I shifted my car into reverse, pulled out of my designated parking spot and drove to Jasper's.
I pulled into the parking lot outside Jasper's apartment. The outside was red bricked, appearing to be three stories high, and a few stray bushes outlined the walkway to the main door.
I sat inside my car a few moments, taking deep breaths to calm myself. I couldn't believe how nervous I was, but there was something else, something else I felt, and I couldn't pinpoint exactly what it was. I wasn't even this nervous the moment I knew he was going to kiss me.
I finally managed to brave getting out of my car, then took slow steps toward the building. The night air was cool, and a gust of wind brushed off the trees before slamming into me rather abruptly. It was that gust of wind that forced me to walk more briskly into Jasper's building.
I could hear the wind knocking against the glass near the door, but when I climbed that first step, the wind silenced. It was such an oddity, and I wondered if maybe it was meant as a sign, pushing me to move quicker to whatever fate had planned for me. Maybe Jasper was the key to what my future held… and maybe I was just a damn idiot to sit here and mull over something like that when I hardly knew the man.
I cleared the last step and approached the door. I applied a few mild knocks, and it only seemed that seconds passed before he was standing in front of me, the door open so that I could walk in. My breath caught the moment I saw him. I'd already found him very attractive, but there was something about him tonight that stood out, something that screamed gorgeous.
He was dressed in a black long-sleeve button down shirt, a gray vest over the top and a pair of black jeans. His blonde wavy locks were a little tousled, but he looked amazing. He smiled widely, the blue of his eyes lighting up with the smile. His eyes raked up and down my figure before he spoke. "Bella, wow. You look beautiful. I'm speechless."
He reached for my hand, and I placed mine in his before he lightly tugged me inside. "You look rather amazing yourself."
He closed the door behind us and led me toward the kitchen, music was playing softly in the background. It was when we were standing near the counter, three barstools lined on the opposite side, that he released my hand. A delicious aroma was wafting through the air. A chicken entrée perhaps?
"Thank you, but I'd suffice to say that you outdid me on appearance." He shot me a wink. "Dinner will be ready in ten. If you'd like, I could give you a quick tour around my apartment. It's not an extravagant place, as I'm sure you can see, but it's home to me, so I'm good with it."
I nodded. "I'd like that."
He smiled at me, that gorgeous fucking smile, showing his dimples, making my heart pump faster in my chest. He reached for my hand once again, pulling me alongside him as we toured his place. It was nearly one big room, other than a short hall to the right that led to the bathroom, a few family pictures lining the white walls, and what I learned was the spare bedroom meant for guests when they visited. The spare room was pretty bare, having only a bed, a wooden nightstand with a small glass lamp and a dresser that held a twenty inch television on top of it.
Off the living room was a rather large balcony with French doors. He had a small table sitting against the far corner, two chairs with leaf patterns engraved in the wood surrounding it. Over the kitchen was his bedroom, a set of winding stairs leading up to his room was standing right before you entered the hallway. In the far corner of his living room, which was rather large, was what he referred to as a small studio for his music. Each room was marred with the clutter factor, but it certainly had great Feng Shui.
He finished showing me around, then we made our way back to the kitchen. I was standing on the opposite side of the counter near the barstools.
"See, not much to look at," he said. "Dinner should be ready now. If you wanna take a seat on one of the stools, I'll finish getting it prepared. I made chicken piccata with wild rice. It's just seasoned chicken with salt and pepper, then dredged in flour and lemon juice."
I took a seat on the barstool to the left. "It sounds delicious."
He prepared our plates, blanketing the entirety with wild rice before placing the chicken on top. He sat my plate in front of me before setting his next to mine. I waited until he sat down beside me before I attempted a bite. When that first piece entered my mouth, delicious flavor burst out along my tongue. My taste buds certainly weren't used to something this satisfying. I actually closed my eyes and moaned. He laughed in response.
"Good?" he asked.
"Very," I moaned around another bite.
While we ate, we discussed our days; mine was full of languid cleaning, his preparing for an upcoming concert at a local club for charity. It was during our conversation that I felt at ease and really allowed myself to enjoy being with him, the soft music in the background helped stage the mood.
We finished our meal, both of us looking to the other to make the first move on what to approach next. We pretty much answered with shy smiles until Jasper finally broke the silence that formed between us.
"So, what would you like to do next? We could go watch a movie or go dancing. Whatever you prefer to do?"
I stood from my chair, smiling at him, then placed both my hands in his, pulling him to his feet. "You know, I think dancing sounds like a great idea, but I'd prefer if we do it here. I mean, if that's not a problem. Believe it or not, I'm not really big on crowds. Plus, I love the peace and quiet this place holds."
"Of course," he said. "Right here or…?" He pointed toward the balcony.
"I don't think I'd mind a little bit of cool air." As crazy as it sounded, I honestly didn't.
"We'll probably be icicles by the time we come back inside," he teased.
"I know," I laughed.
He smiled, then led me toward the balcony, leaving the French doors wide open to be able to hear the music. Just as we halted at the center of the terrace, his arms wrapping around me, a new song began to play.

You are my angel

Come from way above

To bring me love

His left hand rested at the small of my back while the other remained entwined with mine. We moved slowly with the beat, our eyes holding the others in a searing gaze.

Her eyes

She's on the dark side

Neutralize

Every man in sight

Large drops of freezing rain began falling from the sky, slapping roughly against our bodies, drenching every inch of us, but somehow we kept in sync with the music. The rain was very chilly against my skin, but I relied on his body heat to keep me warm.

To love you, love you, love you ...

My clothing was plastered against my body, and water dripped from my limp hair down my face. His eyes lowered, severing the eye contact between us to travel down my soaked form. My nipples were hard underneath my clothing, mainly because of the weather, but also because of the way he stared at me. My shirt was white and now soaked, so I knew he'd be able to see through the thin fabric.

You are my angel

Come from way above

To love you, love you, love you ...

My heart was pounding heavily in my chest, and I barely realized a new song had begun. I barely recognized how cold I now was. I was so entranced by the moment.

I can't meet

Losing sleep over this

No I can't

And now I cannot stop pacing

Give me a few hours

I'll have this all sorted out

If my mind would just stop racing

Cause I cannot stand still

I can be this unsturdy

This cannot be happening

This is over my head

But underneath my feet

Cause by tomorrow morning I'll have this thing beat

And everything will be back to the way that it was

I wish that it was just that easy

My eyes averted to his mouth as his tongue swiped across his bottom lip, licking up the cool dampness. I couldn't help the notion to pull it between my lips and suck hard on it before I used my teeth to nibble on the silky flesh.

Cause I'm waiting for tonight

Been waiting for tomorrow

I'm somewhere in between

What is real

Just a dream

What is real

Just a dream

What is real

Just a dream

Would you catch me if I fall out of what I fell in

Dont be surprised if I collapse down at your feet again

I don't want to run away from this

I know that I just don't need this

He seemed to sense what I wanted, so he dipped his head down toward mine, pressing his lips against my own. They were cool from the chilly air and rain, but they still felt good against mine. I parted my lips to allow his tongue entrance into my mouth. When I felt his tongue against my own, I instantly reveled in the taste of him.
The rain began to pour harder just as our kiss became more heated. It was almost as if our kiss permeated the rain, making its force that much stronger.

Cause I cannot stand still

I can be this unsturdy

This cannot be happening

Cause I'm waiting for tonight

Been waiting for tomorrow

And I'm somewhere in between

What is real

Just a dream

What is real

Just a dream

What is real

Just a dream

What is real just a dream

He pulled me flush against him, and I could hear the sticking noise our clothes made as he held me in a tight embrace. I moaned into his mouth at the feel of his chest against my own. Water droplets were becoming trapped between our mouths, but that fact didn't stop or slacken the movement of our lips.
Even through the wet clothing and cool air, my body was mostly heated from his touch. My hands instinctively went to his hair, carding my fingers through the dripping wet tendrils.
We pulled away briefly for air intake, but our lips hungrily sought connection again. Not breaking the kiss, his hands found their way underneath my upper thighs, hoisting me up. I wrapped my legs around his waist, the cold dampness of my clothing biting at my skin, as he carried me through the French doors toward his bedroom.
I guess some part of me knew this was where we'd end up tonight, even if it hadn't been planned out. I would wait for him, he'd wait for me, sleeping together didn't have to happen, but the moment just seemed to be right.
"I'm thinking it wasn't such a great idea to be outside," he teased against my lips.
I laughed in response, because he was right. Honestly, in most cases, chattering teeth really wasn't sexy, and we had certainly been on the verge of some serious teeth chattering. The sound of my laughter was swallowed up by his mouth as he began kissing me again.
I remained wrapped around him, our lips still pushing and pulling against each other's in a passionate fervor as he ascended the stairs. It was tricky, considering his view of the stairway was obscured because we were kissing, but he managed to get us to his room without being tripped up.
He sat us along the edge of the bed, my legs still around his waist, making the fact that he was hard underneath me conspicuous.
I ground my hips down against him, causing him to groan into my mouth. He pulled his mouth from mine, staring back at me under hooded lids and thick lashes. His hands grasped the bottom of my shirt while his eyes silently pleaded permission to remove it from my body. I nodded, and he slowly lifted the shirt up over my head, throwing it to the floor.
I reciprocated his actions, tossing his vest then shirt next to mine. My eyes cast downward to take him in. His body wasn't vast in size, but there was obvious definition to the muscles. He was pretty cut.
I wanted to touch him, so I ran one set of fingers across the sinewy muscles of his arms. He groaned as my fingers began trailing along his toned chest right down to the firm abs that had been hidden under his shirt.
He pulled me tightly against him, pressing his lips to my collar bone and working his way up across the flesh of my neck, occasionally grazing his teeth in places, until his lips met mine. It certainly hadn't escaped my notice that my skin was now on fire at all the places he touched.
He brought one of his hands to my bra, unclasping it while the other was fisted into my hair. He removed my bra slowly, the straps rubbing against my hypersensitive skin as they fell down my arms. By now, I was aching to feel him, especially since his erection was pressed against my sex, and I was able to feel how much harder he now was.
My mind was screaming at him to touch me, and I silently willed him to do so. He must have sensed my unspoken pleas because his fingers lightly ghosted across my now exposed breasts. He repeated this action several times before he finally palmed them one at a time in his hands, massaging the flesh around them, then pulling my taut nipples between his fingers, rolling them between his thumb and forefinger. His eyes were on my face, gauging my reaction to his touch.
I rolled my hips against him, and his hands instantly grasped my waist, grinding me down harder over his length.
"Bella," he groaned. "You have no idea how bad I want to be with you right now."
I was practically suffocating on desire. I needed Jasper in the worst way. I needed him to fill the void within me because I'd felt so fucking empty and lonely for so long. I needed him and his touch to erase the memory of a man I shouldn't want.
I'd wasted months over a man that could never want me or be with me the way I needed, a man I had one night with and didn't really know, yet still managed to ridiculously pine for. I wanted something real for me, and this was my chance to have that. I really wanted to try with Jasper.
This moment, I felt, was the catalyst to moving forward. I was going to erase Edward's touch with Jasper's, erase Edward's memory with Jasper's.
"I want to be with you, too," I whispered.
My declaration was all he needed to proceed.
Both his hands were on my jeans, his mouth on mine, before I even finished blinking to unbutton them. He slowly lowered the zipper, pushing the fabric away on both sides before snaking one hand down the front of my jeans. I lifted my hips slightly off his lap to allow him better access. When he reached my very wet and very aroused sex, he pushed my panties aside, grazing his fingers along my slick skin.
"God, Bella. I can't even…" He trailed off against my lips, groaning.
He pushed a finger inside me, then retreated it from my body, teasing me. I felt the loss of his touch and whimpered for it to return. His finger sought out my entrance again, pushing inside me. He pulled back again, but never entirely left my body. He then added a second finger.
"Feel good?" His voice was lower, thick with lust.
"Yes," I moaned. "Don't stop."
He began pushing deeper and harder into me with every thrust back into my body. I gripped his shoulders for leverage, grinding down upon his fingers to meet his thrusts. He finally curled them upward, seeking out the place that would bring me the most pleasure. I cried out the moment his fingers grazed the sensitive spot inside me, for it brought on my orgasm.
My muscles clamped down around his fingers, sending starbursts of pleasure rippling through my body that I hadn't felt in months. I had needed this release, but I could tell I wasn't quite sated yet. When the post orgasmic haze cleared my vision, my fingers moved deftly to the button of his jeans to free the part of him that my body really craved.
I managed to remove his jeans and was just about to discard his boxers from his body when a loud knock sounded at the door. The sound startled me, causing me to nearly jump off of him. He continued to lie on the bed, running his hands over his face and through his hair, frustration emanated from him.
"Are you going to get that? I'm sure whoever it is hears the music downstairs."
He sat up, obviously annoyed.
"Damn it," he growled. He slipped his pants back on, but grabbed a dry t-shirt from his closet. "I'm sorry about this. I wasn't expecting any company."
I had already managed to put my bra back on and was now placing my still very wet shirt back onto my body. "It's alright. It happens sometimes."
I was disappointed, yes, but I couldn't fault him.
He bound down the stairs, I followed behind. Agitation was rolling off him in waves, and it was obvious in the movements he made. He opened the door and before he had time to say anything, a man strolled past him. I recognized him to be one of his band mates, Peter. "Jazz, I've got to talk to you."
He spoke with an edge to his voice. "Can't this wait, Peter? I have company."
He pointed toward me, and I immediately crossed my hands over my chest to conceal what I knew would be visible underneath the water soaked material.
Peter looked between Jasper and I, apologetic. "I'm really sorry, man. I had no idea you'd be having company. I really need to talk to you, though. It's important. I'd come back if it could wait. It concerns our latest gig."
"Do we have to talk right this second? I'm on a date with Bella, and-"
"It's okay, Jasper," I told him, grasping his arm. "We can rain check the rest of the date for another time."
He gazed down at me. "We shouldn't have to rain check."
"Really, it's okay. He needs you."
Jasper sighed heavily, his fingers running through his hair as he faced Peter. "Give me a minute. In the meantime, go sit down. I'll be there after I walk her out."
I strode over to the counter, grabbed my purse and followed Jasper out the door. When he closed the door behind us, he reached for my hand. "Bella, I'm really sorry about this. I don't know what to say other than I'd like a chance to make this up to you."
I smiled widely and cleared the distance between us, wrapping my arms around his neck. "It's alright. Whatever is going on concerns your band, and it's something that needs your attention now. I can wait, and I will wait. I like being with you, Jasper, but I understand you have obligations that come first. I won't ask you to change that for me. There will be another time for us."
His arms encircled my waist, pulling me against him, making it appear as if we were joined together. His lips found mine, kissing me with an intensity that nearly buckled my knees. "If it's not too late when he leaves, I'll call you. Otherwise, it'll be tomorrow. Again, I'm sorry about this. But like I said, I will make it up to you."
He kissed me once more, chastely, before entering his apartment.
I stood in the hallway, briefly, trying to swallow the disappointment. Once again, the loneliness reared its ugly head, and I wondered if this wasn't simply a foreboding that I was meant to be alone.

FK - Chapter Three: Come Go With Me

Chapter 3: Come Go With Me

Use Somebody

I've been roaming around, I was looking down at all I see

Painted faces fill the places I can't reach

You know that I could use somebody

You know that I could use somebody

Nearly a week had gone by since I'd given Jasper my phone number. He hadn't called me, but I honestly didn't expect that he would. I was just some random girl he met at a club he performed at. I'm sure girls like me were a dime a dozen to him.
Granted, he'd spilled an entire cup of liquor all over me, we chatted afterward and he had asked for my number, but I wasn't presumptuous enough to believe that I'd made that much of an impression on him for him to actually want to call me, not when I'm sure many girls tossed their number his way. He was gorgeous, he could have anyone, and I figured he just asked to be nice.
I knew it was a long shot, but I'd given it to him, anyway. But I figured, if he'd been truly interested in me, he could have offered me his number instead of taking mine, or if he really wanted to call me, I would have heard from him by now.
I had decided, though, that if he did call and asked me out, I'd go. I had already stupidly walked away from someone because I believed in the end I was nothing more than sex… or that trying to have a relationship would be too hard with his career. I rationalized leaving that hotel room by telling myself I'd just end up with a broken heart if I let myself really love him. Oddly enough, I walked away to save my heart, but my heart was left with him anyhow. Irony was a real bitch sometimes.
I'd gotten home from work, late as usual, and immediately showered before settling into a pair of pajama pants and tank-shirt. I popped a lean cuisine meal into the microwave, being that I wasn't Betty fucking Crocker in the kitchen, because that's how I rolled.
I moved around the kitchen while I waited for my food to finish, doing miscellaneous chores that needed completed. I hadn't really noticed until today that I was slacking on my domestic duties where Foof was concerned. He was seriously looking like a Wookie gone wild. And honestly, trimming my Chia Pet would have been the highlight of my day. But alas, Foof would have to wait until later because I had a date in ten minutes with Cary Grant and Deborah Kerr in An Affair To Remember.
When I heard the ding of the microwave, I grabbed my newly poured glass of chardonnay, my lean cuisine meal and made my way to my final destination… the couch. I grabbed the remote, flipping on the television just in time for the opening credits. So, there I sat, eating my food in a box and watching a Classic when my phone began to ring.
Normally, when An Affair To Remember graced my television, I wasn't available until the movie was over. I suppose I was masochistic by watching love stories, especially since I had no love story to speak of, but I lived vicariously through the movies.
Being completely engrossed in the movie and not actually thinking before I reacted, I slipped a small bite of lasagna into my mouth, then answered the phone. "Hello?"
My mouth wasn't really full, so what I'd said was clear enough to understand.
"Umm… yes, can I speak to Bella, please?"
I didn't recognize the voice and assumed it was someone probably trying to sell me something. Fucking solicitors. Wasn't I dropped from their calling lists? I was supposed to be on that Federal no-call list. Plus, why the hell were they calling me this late?
"Look, Buddy, I'm not interested in what you're selling, okay? I'm listed on the Federal no-call list, so I suggest you don't call back here again. You solicitors never learn," I growled.
I quickly hung up the phone and went back to my food and movie. A few moments later, the phone rang again. At this point, I was really becoming agitated. All I wanted to do was peacefully enjoy my movie and food in a box for fuck's sake. So when I spoke, my voice came out a bit harsh. "Hello?"
"Is this Bella? It's Jasper, Jasper Whitlock. I promise I'm not a solicitor." He was chuckling on the other end.
I completely felt like shit, not to mention embarrassed by the way I reacted, because I realized he was the one who'd called me, and I'd gotten pretty shitty with him. I felt the heat of my embarrassment travel across my face. Thank God he wasn't sitting here before me.
"Shit, Jasper, I'm really sorry. I didn't recognize your voice, and I thought you were one of those people trying to sell me something. You sound so different over the phone."
He laughed. "I hear that a lot." Silence enveloped, and I waited for him to speak, but heard nothing. I assumed the call was lost, so I started pulling the phone away from my ear when he spoke again. "Well, I… uh… told you I'd call you, so here I am calling you. I hope it wasn't a bad time."
"No... not at all. Actually, I was just sitting here eating and watching a movie," I told him.
"Should I call you back another time? That way you could finish eating and watch your movie?" he asked.
I smiled. "No, I'm done anyway, and I've seen the movie quite a few times already."
I could hear the sound of wind crashing against the phone. "What were you watching?"
"An Affair To Remember," I replied. "Hey, I hear wind. Are you outside?"
He laughed. "Yeah, I am. Sorry about that. I like to sit out on my balcony in the evenings when I actually have free time to do so. It's kind of invigorating, and it helps me think."
"Even in the cold?"
"Yeah," he chuckled.
"Well, I can't say much about that, because I know exactly what you mean. I often take walks through the park this time of night. I know it's not exactly warm out and everything, but it helps clear the mind a bit and distracts me from the shitty days I have at work. And because it's getting chilly out, the possibility of a crowd is non-existent, so that's a plus."
"Walks in the park sound nice," he said. "Though, I really don't get a chance to do it often."
"How about now?" I asked. I immediately bit my lip upon asking. The words sort of just spilled out. "I mean… well, would you like to go for a walk with me? I honestly don't have anything else planned, and I'm thinking a walk around the park would be nice."
"Well, darlin', I'd absolutely love to take a walk with you… even If it is chilly out." His tone was light, carefree and accentuated by that southern drawl that made the lower half of my body tingle.
I changed into a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, then thirty minutes later, we were at Twilight Park, strolling through the Oak-shaded paths. "Thanks for coming along with me."
Jasper smiled widely, small dimples outlining his cheeks. He had an amazing smile, too. His lips were nicely shaped, and I found that I was staring at his mouth a bit longer than I should have been. "And thank you for inviting me." He noticed I was staring too. "Is there something on my face?"
I turned away quickly. "No, sorry, I just… well… I noticed you had dimples. They're…. umm… cute."
Nice save, Bella. You dumb ass. Verbal diarrhea much?
Apparently, my less than stellar communication skills were quite amusing to him, because he was outright laughing at me. "Thank you, but I didn't realize I had dimples on my mouth."
How he managed to see that I was actually staring at his mouth was beyond me. I guess I wasn't really trying to hide the fact that was blatantly staring at him either.
I pulled my jacket tighter around my neck, lowering my eyes to the ground, my face flushed with embarrassment, and I was now contemplating as to whether or not I should just run head first into the tree adjacent to me and knock some fucking sense into my brain, or at the very least, the action help in stifling my mouth.
"They're not. I… uh… wasn't looking at your mouth, I was looking at your cheeks." All possibility of making myself looking anything but inane went out the window went I opened my mouth.
He sighed, the soft sound causing me to finally glance back up to his face, noticing I was no longer the object of his focus - he was looking straight ahead, but the humor was still very much present, especially in his voice. "Of course."
I cleared my throat, aiming for a subject change to save me from my own humility. "So, Jasper," I began. "Tell me about yourself."
"Tell you about myself?" he smiled. "Well, you obviously know my full name, but friends tend to call me Jas for short. I was born in Texas, but being an army brat, we moved around a lot, basically wherever my father was stationed. My parents divorced when I was twelve, and my mom remarried eight years ago, three days after my nineteenth birthday. She and Walter, my step-dad, had Natalie six years ago. She's the only sibling I have… that I know of. My father hasn't remarried, and I'm not even sure if he has someone he's seeing. We don't talk much.
"Umm… what else? I went to private schools most my school education. I always knew I wanted to do something with music, so after graduation I went to L.A. to experiment with the possibilities. I caught a lucky break and met Peter, who was quite familiar with the ins and outs of the industry.
"Peter and I started our band about four years ago, so I juggled a normal working career and my music career equally, but I was able to focus solely on the latter about two years ago." He grinned. "I was in it for the long haul and was willing to bust my ass to be able to do what I love for the rest of my life. I'm pretty passionate about my music, as you can tell. Peter met Charlotte, and we ended up relocating here so he could be with her on a more permanent basis. I didn't mind, because I needed a change of scenery."
He laughed, then introduced me to his comedic side. "I don't have any communicable diseases, I'm pretty sure I'm house broken, but unfortunately, I'm still going through my teething stages. I try to refrain from chewing on the furniture and clothing, but I'm sorry, shoes are my weakness."
I looked down toward the rocky path we were walking along, shaking my head and laughing. "You are something else. But I tell ya, if you chew on my shoes, I'm swatting your ass with the newspaper and you're going outside for timeout."
He chuckled. "Fair enough. Now, I'd like to know about Bella. School me on all that is Isabella Swan." We continued our trek of the park, but our bodies started to lean closer to each other.
"I'm afraid you're going to be sorely disappointed," I stated matter of fact. "There isn't really much to tell. My father is the Chief of Police in Forks, Washington. My mother, well, she's a bit flighty. She never really had a career per say, but being that she's now remarried to a baseball player who travels a lot, I guess that worked out for her.
"My parents, they've been divorced since I was five, but they tolerate each other so that helped with the growing up process, especially when I went to visit my dad every summer. My dad, he's a permanent bachelor, I think. He's still hopelessly in love with my mother, but he won't openly admit it. If their wedding picture that sits on the mantel of his fireplace doesn't prove that fact, I guess I don't know what will.
"I hated school up until my senior year. I don't believe I ever had any real talents to speak of… well, other than singing. I mean, that was why I moved from Washington to begin with, but I somehow ended up here. I can't even tell you how that happened, honestly. Unfortunately, I haven't caught my lucky break musically yet, so I pretty much gave up. I took two years of Vocational schooling, and now I'm a legal secretary. I live alone in a small apartment, but I do have Foof - he's my Chia Pet. And, most importantly, I am disease free as well. I'm completely house broken, and there is no worry about chewing of any kind. I do tend to chase cars occasionally, though."
His lips pulled up into a half smile. "We have quite the quirks, don't we?"
I nudged his shoulder with my own. "That we do, though."
We must have walked that park a dozen times, talking about our interests, goals we held, foods we liked, even discussing our favorite colors.
It was obviously a method to get to know one another better, and I'd discovered in the time we spent together, I was legitimately enjoying myself. I felt so comfortable and at ease with him. It was like he had this calming effect over my emotions. He definitely had a sense of humor, though mine was a bit more risky, but he never seemed to be offended by anything I said. He was more amused by me than anything. I admittedly liked that, because I knew I could be a complete dumb ass sometimes.
When we could pretty much walk the same path blindfolded, because we'd circled the entire acre of the park more times than we I could count on both hands, we decided to brave the walk to my apartment. His intention was to walk me home, then call a cab to his.
It took us nearly an hour, because of the pace we'd been walking, to arrive at my apartment. I didn't seem that either of us was ready to end the night, so I decided to make the first move and invite him up for coffee. Worst case scenario, he said no. I wasn't looking for anything more than his company. It was a nice feeling not being alone.
We stopped outside of my apartment, the awkwardness of the moment settling in. "Jasper, I really had a great time with you. This may be totally inappropriate to you, but I wondered if you'd like to come up for a cup of coffee."
"I've never thought of having coffee as inappropriate," he teased, cocking an eyebrow.
"Okay, Mr. Smarty Pants, I didn't want to overstep boundaries. I didn't want you to think I was just throwing myself at you, and that's why I was asking about coffee. I honestly didn't mean anything more than that." I was rubbing viciously at my arms as I spoke, feeling anxious. "Damn it, Jasper, you're making this difficult for me. I enjoyed your company, and I wasn't ready for it to be over."
He smiled sheepishly. "That's all you had to say, Bella. I wasn't exactly ready for this to be over either, so I'd love to have a cup of coffee with you."
"You really enjoy teasing me, don't you?" I replied in mock anger, fighting to hold back the laughter but failing.
"Not at all," he smirked.
He followed me up to my apartment, my nerves amplifying with each step closer to my door. He was standing dangerously close to me as I fumbled to unlock the door, my body acutely aware of his, and I found myself beginning to lean into him, searching out his touch. I was just mere inches from him, feeling the heat of his body against mine, when my mind began urging me to stop.
"Bella, are you okay?" His voice was a hoarse whisper, his breath ghosting over my ear, and I wondered if he hadn't just felt what I'd experienced, too.
"I'm fine," I murmured as I opened the door. "Well, this is home sweet home. It's not fancy, but it's quaint, and it works for me."
"It's nice," he assured. "Seems cozy."
"I can give you a quick tour before I start the coffee," I offered.
He nodded in acceptance, so I showed him through my tiny apartment, even introduced him to Foof. He laughed the moment he saw my Chia Pet, but showed his appreciation for my unique pet by patting Foof's head. I couldn't help but laugh at the gesture.
"Cute," he teased.
"He's quite the company, you know? Very good for those lonely days."
He nodded, grinning. "I'll bet."
I smiled, shaking my head. "If you wanna take a seat over there on the couch, I'll get the coffee ready and bring you a cup." I pointed toward the living room and sauntered into the kitchen to prepare the coffee.
My apartment was quite open, so I was able to stand in the kitchen and ready the coffee, but still be able to see what Jasper was doing while in the living room. He paced slowly toward the couch, taking in his surroundings. He briefly looked at the pictures I had adorning my walls and the shelf that was resting beside my television. When he'd apparently seen enough, he took a seat on the couch, leaning back in order to get comfortable.
I stood in front of the coffee pot, watching the stream of hot liquid flowing into the glass pot, a plethora of thoughts flickering through my mind. It was strange for me to have a man in my apartment. I couldn't recall the last time that a male figure was in my apartment that I wasn't related to, or wasn't there to fix the plumbing, and I sure as hell didn't mean the plumbing on my body, though it had been awhile for that, too.
My body's reaction to Jasper's closeness in the hallway hadn't escaped my mind either. It'd been two months since I'd last had sex, but I knew it wasn't merely the act of sex I was searching for; it was a much deeper closeness than just physical.
There was something about Jasper that intrigued me, something genuine about his personality. I was very much physically attracted to him, but I wasn't only attracted to the physical side of him; his personality was a turn on. I knew all these things, they were real within me, but I couldn't forget the man who stormed into my life two months ago and just as quickly stormed out. I also couldn't forget whose fault that was.
But now wasn't the time to be thinking of him, not when I had a man sitting in my living room with whom I had a wonderful evening so far. It was about time I let go of something and someone that was only bound to one night of my life.
Once the coffee pot finished brewing, I poured two cups. I wasn't sure how Jasper took his coffee, so I asked, "Do you take cream and sugar in your coffee?"
"Umm… both please," he answered.
His positive upbringing showed when he spoke. He had well defined manners, but the curious part of me wondered if he was that polite in bed. Jesus, I sounded like Rose and Jess. Their hoochiness was obviously rubbing off on me, sadly enough.
I held both steaming cups in my hands and tentatively walked toward the couch, handing him the cup I'd prepared for him. He said a quick thank you before bringing the cup to his lips. I watched him intently, the way his lips wrapped around the rim of the cup, tightening at just the moment the warm liquid hit his mouth as he lightly sucked it in. I bit my lip, trying to reign back the arousal.
He pulled the cup from his lips and smiled. "You're watching me again."
Always teasing.
"Yeah, I guess I was," I admitted, taking a small sip of my coffee. "It's strange having a man in my house, even for a cup of coffee."
He turned his head so that our eyes locked, his expression serious, eyes dark and elusive. "That's a shame."
What was I seeing there?
I felt my heart rate elevate and my lips parted to take in a trembling breath. He heard it too, because his eyes instantly lowered to my mouth. He turned his body enough to carefully set his cup on the coffee table, but his eyes never left my face.
"Bella, I've wanted to do something most of the night, but I wasn't sure if I should attempt it until now. I really want to kiss you, but I don't want you to think I expect-"
I nodded, ending the words he was speaking. I didn't want him to continue, didn't need to hear anymore words that may put doubt in either of our minds. I knew what I was feeling.
By now, my heart was literally hammering in my chest with anticipation. I wanted him to kiss me, I knew that much. He inched toward me, and I felt the coffee cup I held teetering back and forth in my grasp because my hands were shaking so much. It had been several months since I'd found myself in this situation and a long time before that.
He was just a breath away from me when he reached for my coffee cup, taking it from my hand and placing it on the table. He straightened his body up, leaning his face towards mine. I instantly closed my eyes, releasing a heavy exhale.
I could feel the difference in the atmosphere when his mouth was so close but not yet touching mine. The desire crackled in the air, making my skin prickle with goosebumps.
He lightly brushed his lips across mine, humming softly as he did so. I wanted to taste him, so my tongue advertently sought out his flavor, barely gliding along his lips. I'd only just pulled my tongue back into my mouth when I felt his lips surround my bottom one, pulling it gently into his mouth and sucking.
A small moan erupted from my throat. It felt so good to have his lips on mine, to feel this again. I wanted to reach for him and pull him closer, but I couldn't move my body. I was so caught up in the moment and the sensation of his lips on mine, that I was literally deadlocked where I sat.
The anticipation of a complete kiss was killing me, and when I thought I couldn't wait any longer, his hands snaked around my waist, pulling me even closer so that I was in his lap, straddling him, before his mouth connected full on with mine.
His mouth was pushing and pulling hungrily against my own, but I wanted more. I wanted to really taste him, so I parted my lips, hoping he'd understand what I wanted from him. And he did. His warm, slick tongue pushed through the part in my lips, touching mine. I tenderly flicked my tongue against his and fisted my hands into his hair, pulling his face closer… just needing him close.
We were both panting heavily, trying to press every part of ourselves against the other. My arms wrapped tightly around his neck, my fingers curling into his blonde, wavy hair, while his arms were securely around my waist, holding me to him. It was impossible to be any closer than we were unless we became one person, but that didn't negate our tries.
I couldn't be positive how long I sat in his arms, lost in the kiss, both of us moaning, panting or gasping for air, but never fully parting from one another. I was completely aroused, aching to feel more of him, and I could tell that he was just as aroused underneath me. I wanted him, and I was sure that much was obvious. I pulled my lips from his, hoping to take things further. I wasn't sure what I was doing, this wasn't something I did… well, except for that one time, but I felt the need to push forward.
I turned my head, shifting my eyes from him to my bedroom then back again. "Stay with me."
He groaned, pressing his forehead to mine, both of us closing our eyes as he did so. His voice was husky, breathless. "I don't want to stop kissing you, Bella. I really don't. I'm seriously fighting myself right now to keep from doing something I know I shouldn't yet. But God do I want to. Part of me wants to accept your invitation and stay with you like you have no idea, but the other part of me, the gentleman part, wants to wait. I'd like to at least take you on a date first. Let me take you on a date and do this right."
My eyes remained closed, my arms still wrapped around his neck. "Okay," I breathed. "A date it is."
"Saturday," he whispered, placing a chaste kiss against my lips. "Saturday, I want to take you out. I have no expectations, Bella. I just want to spend time with you, and whatever happens after that will be because we both want it to." My head dropped to his shoulder as I attempted to regain my composure, but I nodded against him. "I need to go now, otherwise I won't be able to, but I don't want either of us to do something that we may regret later. I like you, Bella, so I want to show you better, show you you're more than that."
"Okay," I said as I climbed off his lap.
He stood up from the couch, reaching for my hand and pulling me up next to him. His hand never left mine as he walked us toward the door. "I'll talk to you tomorrow, okay? Goodnight, Beautiful."
He hesitated briefly before pressing a soft kiss to my lips, then walking out my door and leaving me missing his company already.
I locked up before heading to my room and climbing into the warmth of my bed. I couldn't believe the passion behind Jasper's kiss. And because of my recap, my night with Edward came flooding back, ruining my euphoric moment.
Why couldn't he just leave me alone? What was so special about him that my mind couldn't let go?
Get out of my head, Edward. Please, just get out of my head.
I wanted to remove him from my memory, and damn it, I was going to do it.

FK - Chapter Two: First Impressions with Jasper Whitlock

Chapter 2: First Impressions with Jasper Whitlock


Two months had passed since I'd seen or heard from Edward. Two months that I actually internally pined for someone I really didn't know, and that made me feel fucking pathetic. I knew what it was supposed to be inside my mind, just a one-night stand, but my heart refused to let go of the fact that it was more than that.
It was now the end of October, and the autumn leaves were scattered among yards and streets, painting a picturesque scenic view, but the cold of winter was settling in early. It was kind of like the unwanted emptiness that creeps in after your happiness has been taken away. It seemed fall was just as empty as I was.
Life remained the same for the most part; dull and dreary. I hated my job just as much, maybe more, than I had those two months ago, but I was different - that one night changed me. I had experienced a connection unlike anything I'd ever experienced before, so I knew the possibility of sharing that with someone did exist, but my opportunity seemed to be long over, and I had no one to blame but myself.
I thought about him often. I wondering where he was, what he was doing, if he was okay and mostly just wondering if he was happy. I kept my distance from the magazines or searching him out on the internet, because I'm sure I could find something on him. I wanted him to be happy, but I wasn't sure I wouldn't feel some kind of jealousy or hurt if I knew he was with someone. I just clung to the idea of him taking that sabbatical he needed, and he was somewhere where he felt at peace.
One evening, while shopping, I let the curiosity in me win over, and I peeked at one of the many magazines that no doubt preyed on his life. Filming for Lost and Found Again, his film debut, was going to be ending soon, and he was supposed to be taking a couple months down time after. I only knew this because the cover stated so. I couldn't bring myself to open the magazine for fear of being sucked in, and I was not going to become one of those women that became addicted to knowing every move he made, and I certainly didn't want a reason to miss his touch more than I already did.
I sat at my desk, trying to manage all the endless piles of shit Mr. Volturi had assigned me to while Jess enjoyed lunch. It was originally supposed to be a fairly simple day because our company party was tonight, but today was no exception… at least for me. The company party was rescheduled, so here I sat sifting through the copious amounts of papers I'd researched for one of our cases, because no party meant work, work, work.
I was so engrossed in my own thoughts that I hadn't realized Satan, as I liked to refer to my boss, was standing before me with incessant drivel coming from his mouth. "Isabella, I don't pay you to sit there in LaLa land. I pay you to do the work that I require you to do. When I am speaking to you, I expect that you listen to me."
My eyes snapped up to his face, and I hadn't really realized until that moment that he did in fact have a melon head like Jess suggested. "I'm sorry, it won't happen again."
He huffed. "You're right about that. I want that file within the hour."
He turned away from me, heading back toward his office. I immediately stood up, paper weight in hand, ready to just knock his ass out to put him out of my own fucking misery. Jess caught sight of me and shook her head vehemently. "Bella, he's just being himself. You know this. Don't let him get to you."
I sighed heavily. "You know, it's no wonder that man is single. Who could possibly live with him? You can't live with him, you can't work with him and you can't shoot him. It's illegal." Jess chuckled under her breath. "It's like his sole purpose in being born was to be a thorn in my ass. I must have really done something shitty in one of my past lives because I really believe this is hell."
Jess shook her head, laughing. "It seems to me like you need a night out. You don't do anything, but go home to your apartment anymore, Bella. I'm going to Jamison's tonight to see Breaking Twilight. They're a fairly new band but well known, sort of punk, and really good. Come with me."
"Oh, Jess, I don't know," I said hesitantly. "I don't even really care for that kind of music. I mean, it's not that I don't appreciate that particular artistic style, but I'm not really into the whole punk genre, and that's where you just classified them."
"You don't have to enjoy their music, I'm just asking as a means for you to get out of that stuffy apartment and actually have some fun. It would do you a world of good," she said.
"I hear more chatting than I do working!" Mr. Volturi yelled from his office.
I leaned over my desk and whispered, "I guess I better get back to work because the dark overlord of hell has spoken."
She suppressed her laughter and whispered back, "So you'll come, right?"
Her eyes pleaded with me, and truthfully, I hadn't been out in a long time. I'd only be going home to an empty apartment, sitting there in front of my television. It's not like I had anything better to fucking do with my time, so I nodded my acceptance and continued back to my research in preparation for the Mallory trial that was set for the following week.
Seven o'clock rolled around, and I'd already showered and dressed for the evening. I decided on a semi-grunge look. I wore a slim, low-slung short blue jean mini skirt that had a frayed hem, a very form-fitting black rocker shirt, and a black pair of dressy strap sandals.
I'd just put the finishing touches to my make-up when Jess and Rosalie knocked at the door. I filed out of the bathroom quickly to let them in.
Rose came in first, wearing a red dress mini that was practically painted on. She headed straight for my kitchen, opening up a cupboard. "What, no bon bons?" she asked.
"Good to see you too, Rose," I laughed.
Jess closed the door, chuckling. "Bella, you look great. I love the outfit, and it's about time I see you with your hair down. If I had long, naturally curly hair like yours, I'd leave it down more often."
She had obviously decided on a more chic look because she was wearing a lavender haltered mini. "Yeah, the waves can be a bitch to manage sometimes, but I was going for the grunge look, so it worked. I love the dress, by the way."
She did a little twirl before she spoke. "I've got to look good if I plan to snag my future ex-boyfriend tonight. You ready to go?"
"What about me?" We both glanced at Rose, who was now pouting. She'd managed to find my bon bons, though.
"You know you're hot, bitch, so quit the pouting," I teased.
She flipped me off then blew me a kiss.
I shook my head and laughed at her, then glanced back at Jess. "Yeah, I'm ready."

---

When we arrived at Jamison's, the band was set to play in forty minutes. I'd been to Jamison's a few times, and they were probably the best place to see some very talented up and coming bands before they hit the mainstream. I loved that about the place. They gave newcomers a chance to show their talent.
Jess, Rose and I shimmied our way through the crowd of people who had collected near the stage to find a seat at the bar. Luckily, there were three left and they were situated pretty damn close to the stage.
"Oh God," Jess squealed. "There's Jasper Whitlock. He's Breaking Twilight's lead singer."
"He's completely gorgeous is what he is," Rose added.
"That he is," Jess agreed.
I took a nice long look, watching the way he was setting up band equipment. He was definitely easy on the eyes.
Rose leaned in near my ear because we couldn't hear each other over the noise of the crowd. "What are you drinking? First round is on me."
I reciprocated her action and said, "Get me an Ice Bomb. I'm going to go to the ladies room. I'll be right back."
She nodded just as I got up from my seat. I asked Jess if she wanted to tag along, but she shook her head, already in a conversation with the male bartender.
I made my way to the ladies room, standing in the line for about fifteen minutes before it was my turn, and I just happened to be the last one in line. I finished up and washed my hands before heading to the door to go back to my seat at the bar, but when I turned the handle, the door was stuck.
"What the fuck!" I growled.
I was yanking on the door, twisting and turning the handle, but nothing was working. I noticed it stuck for the other girls, but I just assumed it would actually open for me like it had them. I was wrong.
I began to beat on the door and yell for someone, anyone to get me the fuck out of the bathroom. Of course, while being stuck in the bathroom, no one else needed in there. It was just my luck.
It was about ten minutes later when I saw the door handle jiggle from someone grasping it on the other side, then heard a male voice yell, "Hold on, it's stuck, but I'll help you out!"
"Thank you!" I yelled back. "I've been in this fucking bathroom waiting for at least ten minutes."
I could hear him laughing through the door.
Oh, yeah, this shit was really funny. He certainly wouldn't like it if he was the one stuck in here.
There was some shuffling against the door, and I assumed he was bracing his body against it. "Alright, I want you to pull from your end while I push. If we work together, then we should be able to open the door."
"Okay," I told him.
I grabbed the handle tightly and began pulling hard against the door. It started to loosen because the door was slowly opening with the force of his pushing against it and my pulling it. "It's working. A little more and I think we'll have it."
"Step off to the side," he hollered. "I think we have it loosened enough so that if I give it one good shove, it'll open."
I moved slightly off to the side and said, "Okay, I've moved."
Within seconds of my moving, I heard his body slam against the door, opening it with quite a force, but I didn't really have time to acknowledge the fact that the door was open before something cold and wet covered the upper part of my body.
I looked down toward my chest, seeing beads of liquid dripping from my shirt. My mouth dropped open. Not only had I had a shitty day at work, which was a usual, but I'd been locked in a damn bathroom for ten minutes, and the one person who decides to try to help me finishes off my fucking night by spilling his drink all over my chest.
"What the fu-" I started to say as I looked up. I immediately paused when my eyes fell on the person who had not only rescued me from an eternity in the shitter, but had also inducted me into the alcoholic version of a wet t-shirt contest. It was none other than Jasper Whitlock.
His eyes shifted from his near empty drink to my chest, then right up to my face, appearing completely mortified. "Shit, I… I'm so sorry."
My first thought was that most people put their drinks down when they run full speed at a closed door – I'm just saying - but it was obvious he felt like total shit, and thankfully, I wasn't wearing white, so I decided to say something to help lighten the situation. He did help me when he didn't have to.
I pushed through the embarrassment and smiled, teasingly saying, "Well, if you wanted to get me wet, you didn't have to spill your drink on me to do it."
He was wide-eyed momentarily, and then he literally burst into laughter, causing his words to come out in gasps. "I can't believe... I did that... but you're... you're very funny."
I chuckled as I watched him retreat into calm. "Well, it's not every day a girl can say that she got wet by Jasper Whitlock and not mean it the way it sounds. This would be, of course, after he rescued her from the evil bathroom that threatened to keep her locked away from the rest of the world."
"You have an interesting way with words, and your perception on situations is comical. You should do stand-up. I'm sure you'd make quite a killing," he teased.
"Says the man who likes to initiate women's chests with his drink," I teased back. "I'll leave the stage performing to you because it wasn't in the cards for me. I'm more of an observer now."
"That's too bad," he said, those words leaving an ache in my chest, reminding me of him. "And I realized how rude I am, well, besides throwing my drink on you. I never did tell you my name."
"I guess you initiating my chest with alcohol would require name exchanges."
He grinned. "I'm Jasper."
"And I'm Bella," I answered back, sticking my hand out to shake his. He shook my hand, laughing.
After he pulled his hand away, he glanced down at his watch. "Shit, I really have to go, but maybe I could buy you a drink afterward to apologize. I don't normally do that, but it's the least I can do. You'll be fine, right?" He pointed to my shirt as he asked.
I looked down to wear he'd pointed. "Oh, yeah, this is nothing. It's a little damp, and I smell like I bathed in a vat of alcohol, but it'll be fine. However, if anyone tries to drink me, I'm suing you."
He snickered. "I suppose I should have my lawyer on standby then, just in case." He glanced out the door toward the stage. "I really need to get my ass out there. I'll see you around, okay? Enjoy the show."
I propped the door open with the garbage pail, then headed over to the sink to try to blot out some of the alcohol so my shirt didn't appear too wet. The entire time l was doing so, I was laughing to myself. It was pretty much a wasted effort, but I managed to soak up some of the liquid on the paper towels.
As I was leaving, two women passed me into the bathroom, so I addressed them about the door. "Hey, I had a run-in with the door about fifteen minutes ago. I was stuck in here, so I'm not sure that you'd want to close it. I just thought I'd let you know."
"Oh, thanks," they both said in unison.
I made my way back to the bar, ready to bitch at Rose and Jess for not even bothering to look for me, when I noticed Rose was engaged in a nice game of tonsil hockey with bartender Emmett, who just happened to conveniently be here, and Jess was speaking to a gentleman seated in the seat that had been mine.
"Hey," Jess smiled. "You were gone for awhile so Eric was keeping your seat warm. Bella, this is Eric." I glanced briefly at him, smiling, then turned back to Jess. "We've been having an interesting conversation. By the way, what took you so long, and what happened to your shirt? It's really wet. Shit, Bella, you smell like you just doused yourself in liquor."
"Nothing at all, Jess," I replied sarcastically. "You should see what they have going on in those bathrooms. In one corner, they have 'meet a friend'. It's quite educational once you get past the broken door, and if you move to the other side, you can enter the wet t-shirt contest hosted by Jasper Whitlock. Only, they don't use water, they use alcohol. It's like protein for the skin. Who would have ever thought? You know me, I couldn't just stop at one, so I went for the whole shebang."
Her eyes nearly bugged out of her head, Eric became speechless, but Rose, on the other hand, was still eating Emmett's throat. "What? Are you serious? Since when do they do shit like that here?"
"Jess, I was being sarcastic," I told her. "The bathroom door was jammed, so I couldn't get out. I started yelling for someone to help, and someone definitely showed up. It happened to be Jasper Whitlock." I pointed toward the stage. "He opened the door, but managed to spill his drink on me in the process."
Her jaw nearly dropped to the floor. "Bella, did you just say that Jasper Whitlock helped you out of the ladies room and spilled his drink on you?"
I put my right finger against my temple, pretending to be in deep thought, then rolled my eyes at her. "Yeah, that's what I said."
"Do you realize you're wearing Jasper Whitlock's alcohol? How cool is that?" she squealed.
"Jess, I'm pretty sure it was Jamison's alcohol; Jasper was just drinking it. Besides, he seems pretty down to earth to me, so I don't think there's anything to get overly excited about," I answered back.
She almost appeared as if she'd combust with excitement… and possibly shock. "Wait, you talked to him?"
"Hold that thought," I told her. I leaned forward, tapping Rose on the shoulder, and said, "Come up for air before you choke on his esophagus." She, of course, did not.
I turned back toward Jess in time to see Eric getting up, already moving on to someone else because he was no longer the bane of Jess's attention. So I once again sat in the seat that had been mine, the one he had temporarily confiscated, and said, "Yes, I talked to him because he helped me. And since he spilt his drink on me, he offered to buy me a drink after the show to apologize."
"You accepted, right?" she asked.
"Well, I didn't exactly answer him. He didn't give me much of an opportunity," I explained. "He glanced at his watch and said he had to go. He told me he'd see me around and to enjoy the show."
"You're taking him up on that drink, even if I have to force you," she threatened.
I shrugged. "I don't know, Jess. I'm not sure if I'm ready to-"
Rose took a breather long enough to say, "You're definitely ready." before she was back to sucking Emmett's face off. Poor guy never had a chance, not that he really seemed as if he were complaining about that fact.
"She's right," Jess whispered, taking my hand. "It was just one night and-"
My chest constricted, so I looked over her shoulder for some kind of a distraction, because we'd been down this road before, and I wasn't in the mood for this conversation again. Luckily, the band was on stage and Jasper began giving an introduction in the mic.
"Look." I pointed behind her. "The band is starting. We'll talk about this later."
I did not, however, have the intention of discussing the conversation later.
They started off with something I obviously hadn't heard yet, but ended up really liking. It wasn't until halfway through the song that he spotted me. His eyes locked with mine, and he gave me a big smile as he continued to sing.
I smiled back, and it did not go unnoticed by Jess or the little dark haired girl beside Jasper, playing guitar. She did not appear to be happy with the exchange between us.
"Bella, he's eye fucking you right now."
"He was not," I scoffed.
Her eyebrows lifted and her face became very serious. "He was too."
"He wasn't," I added quickly, then changed the subject. "Who's the dark haired girl?"
"Oh, that's Alice Brandon. She's backup vocals and plays bass."
I took a drink of my Ice bomb. "I don't think she likes me."
"It's no secret she has a crush on Jasper," she laughed. "You can tell by the way she looks at him, or the way she constantly praises him. Plus, it was pretty obvious the eye sexing you two had going on."
I chose to ignore her by facing Rose, asking if she and Emmett were actually going to watch the band they paid to see, but she waved me off. I focused my attention on the concert, but I noticed that Jasper's eyes were indeed on me the majority of the time. It was almost as if we were the only two people in the room and he was singing directly to me.
After each song finished, I watched Jasper throw back a drink or two, and then commence with another song. It hadn't slipped my notice that he was becoming a bit looser as the evening progressed. Nor did it escape my notice that I wasn't getting the sweet smiles anymore. The glances I was now receiving weren't light and carefree, they were much darker, hungrier, and they were actually weighing on me.
There was something in the way he looked at me that made me uncomfortable, yet jumpstarted my heart at the same time. I wasn't sure if having a drink with him was a good idea because of it.
He took a brief break, heading in the back with the band, so I sat there, consuming drinks, trying to calm my nerves. If I were to leave and not accept the drink he offered, I'd be rude because of it. Though he'd spilled his drink on me, it was not done intentionally, and he was merely trying to be polite offering. But I felt like I was betraying…
What was my fucking problem, anyway? It's not like I had a boyfriend or significant other to go home to. It was one fucking drink, not a marriage proposal.
When they came from break, he searched me out again. I saw Alice watching him, her little body visibly tense. She didn't look at me, though. She took her place, getting ready to begin playing again.
By the time the concert was over, Jess had convinced me to at least have one drink with him. She told me there were no strings attached to that one drink, so I agreed to stay, knowing she was right.
Rose and Emmett left, obviously to get their fuck on, leaving me and Jess talking. I was by no means drunk, but I was feeling pretty good.
"Did you enjoy the concert?"
I turned my head to the left to look at him, and Jess nearly dropped her drink the moment she heard his voice. "Yes, I thoroughly enjoyed it."
He smiled, nodding his head as he glanced at my shirt. I, however, mistook it for him looking at my boobs until he spoke. "How's the shirt?"
I chuckled, pulling at the hem, and said, "It's all healed. No more war wounds."
A wide smile instantly crept upon his face. He really was good looking, and I almost forgot why I considered having a drink with him wasn't such a good idea. "Good, glad to hear it. So, are you still interested in that drink?"
I nodded. "Yeah, I could use another."
Jess practically flew up off her barstool, obviously not wanting to be a third wheel. "Here, Jasper, take this seat. I was going to go mingle, anyway. It was an awesome show, and it was so good to meet you, even though we technically didn't meet. I'm Jess, by the way. You two kids enjoy each other."
I watched her practically run away. He stared after her, then faced me, staring at me curiously. I shrugged my shoulders and said, "That's due to an adverse effect of Trimspa. You get used to it."
He laughed. "So, Darlin', what are you having to drink? Remember, I'm buying."
I admit, he was definitely gorgeous, but when he said 'darlin' like that, I about came in my seat. "Surprise me."
He wiggled his eyebrows. "Okay, you asked for it."
I never did find out what he bought me to drink, but it was damn good. We talked for awhile about his music career and what being a legal secretary entailed, but it was when we broached the subject of his music career taking off more and whether he'd be interested in starring in a film one day that I felt a little gutted. I felt completely stupid for feeling that way, but it brought back memories of him.
"My career is what it is. I'm happy where I'm at. If it becomes more, that's great, but if it doesn't, I'm not going to fall apart over it. Making music was never about gaining status."
I couldn't get over how genuine he was. "I bet you get to meet all types of interesting people in your line of work."
"That's very true," he grinned. "Some are more interesting than I care to discuss. I know some celebrities, and I'm asked often who I know, all because I was photographed with one who happens to be a good friend. I choose not to answer, you know? What's personal is personal. I'm not going to bring down unwanted attention on them, or use the fact that I know them to benefit my career. I want to earn my way," he said.
"God, you're such a nice guy," I blurted out. No one said alcohol enhanced my intelligence.
He laughed. "Thanks."
The subject was effectively changed, thankfully, because I had no intention of asking him who he knew. He was right about keeping what was personal as personal. And it wasn't as if I expected him to know Edward, but I'm sure he'd heard of him. And if he did know Edward, what then? It would have been too awkward a conversation to discuss with Jasper, anyway.
Besides, what Edward and I had was a one-night stand. When I left that room, what we shared was left behind with it. As much as he plagued my waking thoughts and my dreams, I had to forget him. I had to let go of that one night.
In that moment, I decided to focus all of my attention on the man that was before me and enjoy the conversation we shared. When I pushed the thoughts of Edward aside, I realized that I had a general attraction to Jasper. He was polite in the southern boy kind of way, but underneath I could tell he was a bit of a handful.
We managed to talk all the way through last call. Throughout our conversation, a few people came over to interrupt us for pictures and autographs on napkins or pieces of paper they acquired from the bartender, but it was nothing too daunting. He wasn't affected by the attention like Edward was.
"Well, Jasper, I really had a great time," I told him as I stood from the barstool, reaching for my purse. "They're closing here in about ten minutes, and I should probably try to find Jess. She's my ride home."
"I need to round up the band, anyway. Who knows what they're off doing," he said, laughing. "Bella, I had a really great time. We started off kind of awkward, but this ended up being a really great time for me. I don't think I've ever come across anyone quite like you." He hesitated momentarily. "Would you mind if… I mean, would it be alright if I called you sometime?"
I could have told him no, which is exactly what a part of me was doing, all because if this feeling I had toward Edward that wouldn't go away. Instead, because I did enjoy talking with him, I reached into my purse, pulling out a piece of paper and pen, then jotting down my number. "I'd like that, Jasper. I work during the day, but I'm home pretty much every evening, so you can call anytime."
He took the paper from my hand, gazing over it, then stuffed it in his pocket. "I'll definitely give you a call."
"Sounds good."
He gave me a wave then veered off toward the back entrance of the stage to find his band mates. I proceeded through the crowd of people that were still near the bar to find Jess. I finally found her talking with some guy.
"You ready to go?" I asked.
She nodded, then handed what I assumed was her number to the guy before we started for the exit. "How'd everything go?"
I shrugged, smiling. "It was nice. He's a nice guy."
"Nice is good." We pushed through the doors, walking side by side in the parking lot toward her car.
"Nice is great," I replied back.
This had been one hell of a day and ended with handing my phone number over to Jasper Whitlock. I wasn't sure if it was going to be a good judgment call on my part, but I rather enjoyed his company, and personally, I was tired of being alone, and I was really tired of hanging onto a memory that was really nothing more than a memory. It had been two months, it was one night, he was gone, and I was going to move on.