Thursday, January 29, 2009

CF - Chapter Twelve: Point to Prove

Chapter 12: Point to Prove

Please Don’t Go

All those arrows you threw, you threw them away

You kept falling in love, then one day

When you fell, you fell towards me

When you crashed in the clouds, you found me

Oh, please don’t go

I want you so

I can’t let go

For I lose control


Shit had changed some between Bella and me once I learned about her transplant. It wasn’t that I looked at her differently, at least not in a bad way. She’d shared more than just words about her past, she’d shared a part of her soul, something I probably didn’t deserve, but she did it anyway. That was the moment she became so much more to me. She was always beautiful, damn beautiful, but the thing was, her soul made her more so, and no amount of imperfections would change that shit. It’s why I chose to take my time with her.

I knew she deserved better than me constantly wanting to fuck her, though I did want to constantly fuck her, truth be told. But I decided I was done being a hormonal prick around her all the time, even if my dick didn’t always agree, but I digress. I was trying to do the right thing.

However, she decided otherwise.

She had to go pushing, accusing me of treating her differently, like she was breakable. She didn’t think I wanted her. And there was a point when I tried not to want her, tried to shut off the shit she made me feel, but she made her mark anyway, regardless of what I thought I wanted.

Next thing I knew, I had my hand down her pants, fucking her with my finger until she came, then I was dragging her toward my car. It’s a good thing she didn’t fight me, because I probably would have thrown her over my shoulder like a caveman.

I kept Bella’s hand clasped tightly in mine as I moved. She kept up pace with me. “Edward, where are you taking me? And what about my truck?” she asked. “I can’t just-”

“Leave the fucking thing. We’ll get it later.”

I didn’t give a shit about anything but proving a point. I wanted her so goddamn bad, but I never wanted to hurt her… physically or emotionally. She thought I saw weakness when I looked at her, saw nothing but the scar on her chest, but she couldn’t have been more fucking wrong. She was a survivor, the strongest person I knew, and she’d become too important to me now. I wanted to do shit right where she was concerned, show her she was so much more than a fucking body to me, but she had to second guess me, and I was so tired of her second guessing how I felt about her.

She put up a little resistance, but I wasn’t having that shit. Not now. “But, Edward, I can’t-”

Before she could finish speaking, I had her back pressed against the passenger side door, my body against hers, keeping her from being able to move away. “Are you really fucking worried about your truck, Bella?” I thrust my hips forward, pressing my dick into her stomach, replacing her words with moans. “Yeah, I didn’t think so. See, you think you got shit figured out, but you don’t.”

“What…” she swallowed thickly. “What are you saying?”

I smirked down at her. “You had to push, and you couldn’t just let me do shit my own way. You want to know how much I want you, what you fucking do to me, how much you make me burn inside for you?” I leaned forward, running my nose along her jaw. I could literally hear her heart beating within her chest. “This is what you wanted, isn’t it?” She whimpered. “I know it is, and I’m gonna show you exactly how much I want you, Bella.”

She blinked perpetually, then licked her lips before speaking. “Edward, I-”

I took a step back. “Get in the car.”

Surprisingly, she did as I asked, but those angel eyes of hers still questioned me. I was about to change that shit.

I moved around to the driver side, my body humming with the need to just touch her. To feel her skin under my fingertips had become a fucking addiction. I could spend days touching her smooth skin, gliding my fingers along the softness of her body. I didn’t have to be inside her to love the way she felt, though I had every intention of being inside her… a lot.

“Where are we going?” she asked the moment I sat behind the wheel.

I didn’t answer until I was making my way out of the parking lot. “I’m taking you to my bed, Bella.”

“What?” she squeaked. “There’s your family, and we can’t-”

I reached across the center console and placed my hand on her thigh, giving her a sideways glance and smirk. “No one’s home and they won’t be until tomorrow. Alice went to Rosalie’s, and Esme and Carlisle are doing that anniversary shit tonight, so we have all fucking night.” I drug my hand slowly up her thigh, making her moan as I got closer to her pussy. “There’s no one around to hear you scream when I make you come.”

The remainder of the drive, I kept my hand on her thigh, occasionally brushing my fingers over the seam of her jeans right between her legs. It was driving her crazy. I could see it in the way her fingers dug into the seat with every pass of mine. And the noises she made as I touched her made it almost impossible not to pull over and fuck her in her seat. How the hell I made it to my house without doing just that was a miracle.

Her car door opened just as I put the car in park, and I grinned as I opened my door and climbed out. I walked behind her as we approached the house, watching the way she moved her body with each step. I didn’t say a word as I unlocked the door, but glanced in her direction long enough to see her biting her lip. We went inside, heading straight up the stairs.

The second my bedroom door was shut, I had her pressed against the wall beside it, my mouth covering hers. She moaned and wrapped her arms around my neck, her fingers running through my hair, as I held her against me, her body practically melting into mine.

“I’m gonna do things to that body of yours they probably don’t even have names for,” I warned. I meant that shit too.

She whimpered against my lips. I brought my hands down slowly, grazing my fingers along her sides, making sure to brush the sides of her breasts as I did so. When I reached the hem of her shirt, I gripped the fabric in my hands and started to pull up, but she immediately removed her lips from mine while trying to pull away.

She shook her head. “Edward, I’m not ready for you to see-”

I placed my hand against her cheek. “It’s okay, baby. We got time for that.”

Instead, I wrapped my arms around her waist and walked her to my bed, laying her back, my body covering hers as her back hit the mattress.

I wanted to see all of her, but I knew she wasn’t ready yet, so I kissed her lips until her body relaxed, then made my way down her body, using my mouth to nip at her concealed skin as my fingers trailed behind.

She didn’t pull away when I reached her jeans and unbuttoned them, and though I could tell she was nervous, she knew I’d never hurt her. I pulled them down her thighs slowly, until they were tossed on my floor.

My eyes took in every inch of her I could see. She wasn’t naked, but she was laying there in just a turtleneck and panties. I’d never seen someone so damn beautiful.

“So sexy,” I murmured.

I bent forward, lifting her shirt just enough so I could kiss a trail down her stomach, stopping right above her pubic bone where I planted a light kiss there.

“It would be a motherfucking crime not to taste you right now, and I don’t wanna just taste you all over my fingers, Bella.”

“Oh God,” she moaned as her tiny hands wrapped themselves in my hair. Her chest rose and fell with staccato breaths. She was so turned on, I could actually smell how fucking aroused she was. I wanted to bury my nose in that scent and inhale her until her essence was permanently etched into my memory.

I smiled up at her. “Don’t worry, angel eyes, I’m gonna make you feel so good.”

I curled my fingers underneath the elastic of her panties and pulled up on my knees, causing her hands to drop to her sides and fist the sheet instead. I drug the fabric slowly down her thighs as I moved, watching her body tremble in anticipation of what I was going to do to her. I wanted to be able to see that pussy clearly the moment the clothing was gone.

I groaned loudly the second skin and a light dusting of hair came into view, making me so damn hard it was painful. “Fuck, baby, you’re so goddamn beautiful.” You’d think I’d never seen a pussy before, but this wasn’t just any pussy I was looking at. It was Bella’s. My angel eyes.

Her breathing picked up as I stared at her, her cheeks flushed red as I opened her legs to get a better look. I was willing to bet that blush spread down her chest too, but I couldn’t see because of her shirt. In time, she’d come to trust me with that. In time, I’d make her realize how sexy I found her - scar or no scar.

She started closing her legs while clutching the bottom of her shirt, but I stopped her, feeling the strain in her limbs as she fought me. “Don’t, baby. You don’t have to be ashamed or embarrassed. You’re perfect.” I leaned forward, but kept from touching her with any part of me but my hand as I placed it where I knew her scar was. “You’re so fucking perfect.”

“Edward,” she breathed. “I’m not-”

“Don’t,” I told her. “I want you so much. Every single part of you.”

Her eyes closed, and the echo of her breathing became louder through the room, but she didn’t say anything more.

I settled myself back between her legs, my face so close to her pussy I knew she could feel my breath on her skin because her body shivered the second I exhaled. She was so fucking wet, her lips glistened under the reflection of the dim lighting in my room from the yard lights outside. I wanted to taste her. I couldn’t think of anything but the taste of her on my tongue.

I inched forward, whispering, “I’m gonna taste you now.”

Her warm flesh brushed lightly against my lips before my tongue came out, grazing her clit. Her body jerked at the contact, and she let out this guttural moan. I wasn’t prepared. I was not motherfucking prepared for how she’d taste. “Oh, Jesus,” I groaned, pulling back long enough to lick my lips and coat my mouth with the taste of her. “Holy shit.”

And then I couldn’t stop myself. I was too far gone to do anything my bury my face in her warmth.

I had to taste every part of her. I nipped and sucked at her clit, then circled her opening before pushing my tongue inside her, going as deep as I could with my mouth. She was moaning and writhing against me, grinding against my face. Her fingers were digging into my scalp, but I was lost in her, lost in the way she tasted.

“Does that feel good, baby?” I asked against her. She moaned, but I wanted to hear her tell me she liked what I was doing to her. I needed her to say that shit. “Say it. Tell me if it feels good.”

“Yes,” she moaned. “It feels… so good.

I replaced my tongue with my fingers, pushing inside her with one then two fingers as my mouth continued to taste between her legs. The way she was moving, I knew she was getting close, so I picked up the pace of my fingers and mouth, working her until she gasped loudly. She went still a couple seconds before her entire body shuddered.

“Oh, m-my God.” Her voice was shaky as she spoke. I didn’t stop fucking her with my mouth or fingers until her body stopped trembling from her orgasm.

I sat up on my knees, licking my lips completely of the taste of her. I moved up her body slowly, kissing her, trying to make her feel in my touch what she had come to mean to me.

I was so hard, I wanted to be inside her right that minute, but I wanted to take my time, make everything enjoyable for her.

“You tasted so good, angel eyes.” I kissed her lips softly, just being gentle with her.

“I want to… I want to feel you.” At first I thought she meant inside her, and I certainly wasn’t opposed to that, but then her hand moved between us, traveling down my stomach, only to stop before she touched my dick. Her eyes met mine, asking for permission. “Can I touch you?”

I wanted her to, God did I want her to, but there was this voice that began inside my head as I looked into her eyes. I was trying to ignore it, the sound echoing off distorted shit I knew I didn’t want to hear. “You don’t have to do-”

“I want to,” she interrupted.

I exhaled loudly, then unzipped my pants, sitting up long enough to pull them down my legs. I started to lie beside her, but she stopped me. “No, I don’t want you to move. I want… I want to feel your weight on me when I touch you. I just… I don’t want to lose that closeness yet.”

She blushed, but didn’t look away. I stared into her eyes, and there was so much emotion reflecting back. I wanted her, but that voice was getting louder, more clear.

Before I could open my mouth to say anything, her hand wrapped around me, her palm warm against my skin. I couldn’t think about anything but the fact that her hand was on my dick. She squeezed a little as she moved up my shaft.

“Fuck,” I groaned. My head fell against her shoulder, and I panted against her skin.

She moved slowly, learning me with her fingers. I could tell she’d never done it before, but it didn’t matter. The slow pace of her hand gradually quickened. I was grunting and groaning, feeling myself harden further in her grasp. It felt so good to have her touching me. She had no idea the power she had. No clue at all.

My mouth found hers again, kissing her with a desire that practically immobilized my body. I wanted to be inside her so bad, to feel her wrapped around me, to be the only one who would ever feel her that way.

I was so fucking close to coming, but I wanted to do it inside her. I gripped her free hand, pulling it above her head and entwining our fingers, then reached between us, doing the same with her other hand, though she put up resistance. But the fact that my tongue was in her mouth kept her from being able to voice it.

I repositioned myself between her legs, then released one of her hands and gripped her thigh, pulling up higher against my waist to open her more. She wiggled just the slightest, and the tip of my cock grazed her opening. I felt that wet heat I’d been dying to bury myself in, the desire to feel her suffused through me. We both groaned into each other’s mouths. I was right there, I just had to push forward, but that fucking voice I didn’t want to hear was clear now, telling me something was off with Bella.

I broke the kiss, gasping for air while I leaned my forehead against hers as I tried to figure shit out. “If I don’t stop now, I won’t be able to stop myself from being inside you.”

“Edward, you don’t have to stop. I think I’m ready to-”

I knew then I had to stop. I had to move off her before there was no turning back. I sat up, running my hands roughly down my face. “That’s exactly it. You think.” I finally faced her. “I want you to be sure. Don’t fucking do this because you think it’s what I want you to do, Bella. I want you, that’s obvious, but this isn’t about me. I want you to feel ready to be with me.

“I don’t want the first time I’m inside you to happen with you unsure, but you do it anyway because it’s the only way you’ll feel fucking wanted by me. You don’t have to worry about that. I couldn’t… I don’t want you to regret it or end up resenting me because you felt pressured.” I shook my head, sighing. “I’m doing this shit all wrong with you. I feel like I’m pressuring you into giving yourself to me, and that’s not what I want. Not with you. I haven’t even taken you on a real date. How shitty is that?”

She sat up, moving beside me, but the sheet was now covering her from the waist down. “Why?”

“Why what?” I asked.

“Why not me?”

I turned to look at her. “Because you’re different. That’s why.” She blushed, but her eyes lit up as she gazed at me. “I want to be with you, but I won’t fucking hurt you to make that happen, and if I fuck you right now, you’re going to end up hurt because of it. Maybe not now, but you will later because it’s not what you were really ready for. And all the other shit we do, we don’t have to-”

Her eyes widened as she interrupted quickly. “I like the other shit we do, Edward. I like the way you make me feel, and I don’t just think that you want to sleep with me and that’s it. I’m not so innocent you know.” She bit her lip. “I knew what I was doing when I confronted you. I guess I just never thought about how far it would go.” I blinked at her. “I know that’s stupid, considering, but I just… I wanted what happened, I did. I guess I just expected that you’d, you know, touch me and that’s it.”

I laughed. “Bella, do you have any idea how hard it is for me to just touch you and that’s it? I’ve never wanted…” I shook my head. “It’s not easy to stop with you, okay?”

She nodded. “I know, but you did.” She was silent as she stared at my face, but then her eyes traveled lower, widening when she saw I was still hard. “You’re still…. It hasn’t-”

“It’s not that easy to turn off, Bella,” I smirked. “I’m just gonna take a cold shower, probably whack off.” I wasn’t ashamed to admit it. I stood up slowly, my body aching with the movement. I was so tense with need still.

“Edward.” Bella reached for my hand, her eyes still on my dick. “I may not be ready to have sex just yet, but I still….” She paused as her eyes found mine. “You don’t have to go take a cold shower or anything. I’d still like to touch you with my hand. I’d like to make you come too.”

Needless to say, the shower was long fucking forgotten, and I did end up coming rather hard… by Bella’s hand.


After spending the entire weekend with Bella, doing more than just talking but not yet having sex, much to my fucking dislike because my conscience is an asshole, I wasn’t looking forward to going back to school. The more time that I spent just being with her, the more that that was really all I wanted to do.

Alice would make comments about how much Bella was changing me, even Esme and Carlisle expressed the difference in me, but I ignored the shit. It was true, but I still ignored it.

On Saturday, I took Bella to the movies during the matinee, and that was a feat in itself. It wasn’t that I didn’t like taking her out, it was just that I never went to the movies. I never did the date shit. I let her pick the movie to be a gentleman, and it ended up being some fucking movie called the Notebook for their “Remember that movie” weekend. I wanted to gouge my eyes out by the time it was finished, but I sat through that shit for her. Afterward, I took her home because she had to work, but we talked for an hour after she got off. That was a record for me.

Sunday was spent working, texting Bella, whacking off in the shower, texting Bella , eating dinner, whacking off again – I couldn’t be held responsible for the second time. She told me my dick was cute, and I, oddly enough, found that shit hot - and then I passed the fuck out. I had a full schedule.

I was not thrilled when the alarm went off Monday morning, meaning I had to get out of bed and go to school, but I drug my ass out from under the covers, got ready and went and picked Bella up for school. The only good part about going was her.

I slept a solid eight hours, but I could not stay awake through class to save my ass. I figured I might be coming down with a cold or something. I did, however, feel a little more revived at lunch.

“What the hell’s up with the sound effects, man?”

Emmett’s elbow connecting with my arm disrupted me from watching Bella practically deep throat a banana. Okay, she was just eating the damn thing, but I had that selective perception shit. Everything she did, everything about her, made me need and want her so damn much that I actually ached to feel her fucking presence when she wasn’t around. Hiding that fact wasn’t going over so well anymore.

It was just as well, though, considering I was motherfucking hard, and apparently I was being all loud and shit about it.

My head snapped in his direction. “You don’t gotta hit me, dick.”

Emmett laughed. “It was either that, or sit here and watch you scale this table in about two seconds to fuck Bella. I’d need therapy for years after that shit.”

“Like I’d actually fuck Bella right here in front of everyone.”

Bella started choking on the banana, her face turning beet red as she looked at me all horrified. Alice was patting her back, asking her if she was alright. Apparently I said that shit too loud.

Emmett laughed. “Bella, you have to swallow the banana, not choke on it. You save the choking for-”

“Do not finish that sentence,” Rosalie threatened.

I swear, in the way she stared at him, you could see the fiery pits of hell behind her eyes. She was probably incinerating his nuts where he sat. Not that I minded, because it would have saved me the trouble of doing it myself.

Emmett held up his hands in mock defeat, but kept laughing. Fucker. “Okay, okay.” He looked from Rosalie to Bella. “I’m sorry, spitfire. I was just teasing ya.”

Bella cleared her throat, the blush still present. “It’s okay.”

I wasn’t sure if she was being truthful, so I mouthed, “Are you sure?” when her eyes met mine. She nodded back.

“So,” Alice began, like she was trying to clear the air a bit. “Who all was planning to go on our class trip?”

Bella’s eyes left mine, immediately focusing on Alice. “What class trip?”

Alice, the little fucking ball of sunshine that she was, started bouncing in her seat. “It’s something for the juniors and seniors. I guess this year we’re going to a family resort or something like that. I don’t know all that much about the place, but I guess that’s the plan. From what I hear, there’s cabins and everything. The place is supposed to be pretty nice, well, as far as family resorts are concerned.”

“Since when are cabins fancy?” Jessica asked. She shook her head as she glanced between us all. “I’ve never heard of a fancy cabin before.”

“Well, I say hell yeah,” Emmett yelled. “Coed, right?”

Alice chuckled. “Yeah, I don’t think so. But I did hear there weren’t enough teachers able to go as chaperones, so they recruited some recent graduates.”

Emmett rubbed his hands together, a goofy fucking smile plastered on his face. “Even better.”

“Where do you hear this shit?” Rosalie asked.

Alice shrugged. “The girls in the office. They like to gossip.” She rolled her eyes for effect.

“That explains why you talk to them.”

“Bite me, Rose,” Alice replied playfully.

I didn’t give a shit about the whole class trip thing, but the way Bella was hanging on Alice’s words, it seemed she did. “So when does this trip happen? Is it too late to sign up or whatever?”

Alice turned to face her. “No, the details were just decided, I guess. But the trip is scheduled in March over spring break. Jasper and I will definitely be going. You should come.”

Bella glanced back at me briefly, then shrugged as she looked at Alice again. “I’ll think about it.”

Conversation dwindled off to other mundane shit, and shortly after, the lunch bell rang. Bella didn’t bring up the discussion at lunch while we were in Biology, not that we had much time to talk over Mr. Banner, anyway. It was like she was cryptically avoiding bringing it up, maybe thinking I wasn’t up to talking about it. Maybe she figured I’d just tell her no, so there was no point in talking about it. I couldn’t blame her if that was how she felt.

Honestly, I wasn’t sure what to think about this whole class trip thing. I already had to endure all these fuckers Monday through Friday as it was. Why the hell did I also want to do it willingly on the only two days I had as a break from their asses?

Bella seemed to be pretty excited about going, though. Her face lit up when Alice mentioned going, and then she looked at me with those brown eyes that made me wanna do shit I never had the urge to before, especially going on a class trip.

The only thing I was sure of, though, was if Bella wanted to go there was no way I wasn’t going too.


After school, I drove Bella home then headed to my place, going straight to my room. I pretty much did nothing but lay in fucking bed, thinking. It was something I did a lot lately. Being with Bella, the way she made me feel, it made me look at the shit I didn’t want to, like I had to analyze these parts of me now and try to make the bad shit disappear somehow.

The nightmares, they still happened, but that darkness was all I had before, all I knew for a long damn time. But Bella, she was like this fucking star in a darkened sky, lighting shit up in the way that only Bella could. She was so goddamn unexpected, and the shit she made me feel was overwhelming at times, but I needed her. I couldn’t fucking explain, let alone understand, how she could alter the inside of me so dramatically, making it so that breathing wasn’t so painful anymore. I could wake up in the morning and not wish that this shithole of an existence would just swallow me up, and that gaping hole left inside me after my mom’s death was that much smaller.

She worked her way inside me without my permission, and I fought her on that too, but she was fucking there, beating inside my chest. Emotions made me vulnerable, something I never wanted again because it was dangerous, but only Bella could make that shit impossible for me.

The thoughts about Bella and my mom were becoming too heavy, and I needed a distraction, so I grabbed my cell off the nightstand and started texting Bella.

So, what are you doing? –E

I groaned at the stupidity of the question, because I knew what the fuck she was doing.

Umm… working. Lol.

Then why the fuck are you answering your texts, Bella? Aren’t you supposed to be working? ;) –E

Real funny, Edward. I wouldn’t be answering texts if a certain someone wasn’t texting me while I’m TRYING to work.

Tell whoever the fuck is texting you to knock that shit off, or I’ll kick their ass. –E

It took her a moment to respond back.

Oh, we are a comedian tonight, are we?

Nah, just bored off my ass. –E

Everything okay? You seem off.

It amazed me how much she could see right fucking through me, even when she wasn’t around me.

Yeah, I just, you know, miss you and shit. –E

It seemed almost an eternity before she answered, and that made me a bit nervous.

Sorry, I had to put my phone away real quick. Paula almost caught me. And I miss you, too.

My chest swelled with satisfaction and this fucking warmth that circulated through my entire body.

You maybe want some company on your lunch break? –E

I’d like that, but I wasn’t planning on eating.

And why is that? –E

Another delay in her texts. I figured she was probably stocking shit, or maybe someone was around so she couldn’t respond right away.

Well, I was planning on going back to the bookstore to see if they possibly had Pride and Prejudice yet. We have to choose a book in English to do an essay on, and that’s the one I chose.

I have no idea what the fuck you’re talking about, but I’ll tell you what, I’ll see if I can locate the damn thing and bring it to you on your break. Sound good? –E

You’d do that?

Yeah, I can do that for you. –E

Alright, thank you. I should really get back to work now, but I’ll see you at lunch.

I got up out of bed, put on my shoes and headed downstairs. I passed Esme on the way into the kitchen. “You going out?”

I shrugged. “Yeah. I’m gonna… uh… meet Bella on her lunch break.”

She smiled. “Oh, well, that’s very nice of you. You two have fun.”

I gave her a slight nod as I moved out the back door and headed to my car.

The local bookstore still didn’t have Pride and Prejudice. I had the guy working the desk search that entire store three times. And seeing as Forks wasn’t a big town and shit, there wasn’t any more bookstores around. I even tried the library; they had one copy, which of course was checked out. Getting the book seemed pretty damn important to Bella, and I had enough time, so I drove to Port Angeles, figuring they’d probably have it somewhere.

Two fucking bookstores later, and I still hadn’t found that book. I was beginning to think every asshole in a fifty mile radius decided to buy the damn thing. If it was that good of a book, it had to have lots of porn in it or something.

I was about ready to give up, but decided to turn down a side road and scope the stores on either side of the road, hoping to get lucky. As luck would have it, the last store on the left hand side was a place called, Books and Things. I parked the car and headed inside.

There was no one, and I mean no one, in that place. Books lined a shit ton of shelves, but there weren’t any people browsing them. I wasn’t about to look through that mess, so I went straight to the front desk.

There was a bell sitting beside the register. I hit that damn thing at least twenty times, had turned around and was just about to leave when a voice behind me asked, “Can I help you?”

The voice was familiar.

I turned around, and he smiled as soon as he saw me, recognizing me immediately. I knew he did before he said anything. “Well, look who the cat drug in to my store.” He shook his head, chuckling. “Small world, heh, boy?”

He wasn’t shielded in the coat that made him look like an Eskimo, but I knew who he was. He was the same asshole who at one time thought he’d give me unwanted advice, and of all places, I had to end up in his fucking store.