Tuesday, October 23, 2012

CF Chapter 14 TEASER

I could feel the attachment to Edward building for some time, and admittedly, it was scary as hell. As stubborn and arrogant as he could be at times, it was the positive parts of him that had really shown through. He had such a good heart, even with as guarded as he kept it.
 But not telling him how I truly felt about him? That terrified me more. Not saying what you should could have serious repercussions… like losing what you value most. Sometimes though, words aren’t enough to express what someone means to you. So what do you do? You show them the best way you can. With Edward, I gave him my heart. The glass heart and key represented what he owned of mine. He had to see more than just hear.
And since that moment, he had obviously changed. We both had. I could tell through Government and lunch that he was different, and I knew it was because of what I’d done. He never said a word to me, just stared. Honestly, I feared what that silence meant. It wasn’t until biology that I realized how altered he really was, because it wasn’t until then that he said anything about the glass heart.
“Why, Bella?” he whispered.
I turned to look at him. “Why what?” Though I asked, I knew exactly what he was referring to. But I was tired of the silence, the way it tensed me. I needed him to speak.
He peered at his hands that were resting palm down on the desk we shared. They shook even though he tried to steady them. “Why me?”
How could he ask that? How could he not see the answer? “Because Edward, it was meant for you. I think deep down I’ve known for awhile it was always you.”
“How?” he asked, still whispering. “How do you know it’s me?”  This Edward was not the one I was used to seeing. This Edward’s shield was down, visually unguarded, and he’d managed to communicate a few sentences without cursing.
I exhaled audibly, the emotion tumbling through my body evident in my breathing. “I feel it. I trust you with my heart.”
He finally looked at me, and I swear I could see right inside him, see that he was cracking open. “That’s a lot of faith to have in one fucking person, Bella.”
“You’re not just any person, Edward. Besides, you’re worth it.”
He watched me for the longest time, quiet as he’d been previously. I hoped he’d say something more, say how he felt, but he kept silent through the rest of Biology. And I let him, because I’d learned when not to push.
Seconds before the bell rang, he slid a piece of paper over to me, one I never even saw him writing. I glanced down, and as I read the words, tears I didn’t realize I was shedding coated the paper.
In messy handwriting, it read:
No one has ever touched my heart and soul but you.

Thursday, October 11, 2012

TUS Chapter 30 TEASER

Edward's hands came up to frame my face. Love and adoration bled
through his touch and his eyes as he stared into mine. "Listen," he
whispered, cocking his head slightly. "Can you hear that?"

I listened carefully but heard no sound other than normal creaks in
the building and our breathing, and I was positive those were not what
he was referring to. "No, I don't."

"Listen carefully," he pleaded. He could see I was trying hard to do
as he asked. Still, I was missing whatever it was he heard. My
confusion was emphasized by my expression. "That sound? That's my soul
singing out to yours." I gazed into his eyes, heart thumping,
unconditional love surging through every part of my being for this
man. He continued, "It's saying that you are part of it; that until
you, it was shattered. Those pieces are now made whole. No matter
what, no matter where we are, apart or not, it will continue to sing
for you and only you." He gently brushed away a stray tear that rolled
down my cheek. "Can you hear it now, meu anjo?"

I kissed him softly, whispering against his lips. "Yes, I can here it.
Can you hear what mine sings to yours?"

He leaned back just inches, closing his eyes, listening mindfully.
Minutes passed before he opened his eyes again, nodding. "I hear it.
It says how much you love me, that I've become a part of it, too. Our
souls... They're connected."

"Yes," I answered, more tears falling, finding their way into the
fabric of my clothing. He was right. But there was more. "You know
what else it says?"

"What?" he asked.

I kissed him again, threading my fingers through his hair as I wrapped
my arms around his neck. "Thank you for leading me home."




I know most of you aren't aware - some here are, I'm sure - that I'm the writer of The Unaccompanied Soul and Chancing Fate. My twitter account for "Twi-fandom" was closed a few months ago, mostly because of continuous harsh emails, dm's, and pm's about updating, etc, and I only have an account now that was meant for my published work, though I do tweet about Twi-related issues on it. I figured posting here would get a better word-spread of what's been going on and why there's been no updates to either story.

Some already know, but I've been very sick awhile now. I have fibromyalgia and arthritis, which I stated in an author's note last updates, but in May, I had gallbladder surgery and continued to have problems after. Months of testing, and I mean all kinds of testing, I ended up having to have a hysterectomy 4 weeks ago yesterday. However, that hasn't finished the issue. Today, I have a gastroscopy and in 4-6 weeks, I'll be having a colonoscopy, because they believe I have crohn's disease, and there has also come to light that it's a high possibility during my hysterectomy the doctor nicked my bladder. Believe me, I know how much that all is, and it's been nothing but a horror story for me. I've been unable to update, had to push back the release of my first novel several months, not been able to be the mommy that I'm used to being, and it's been heartbreaking and painful in many ways.

I just wanted everyone to know that despite what's going on in my RL, I have every intention of completing both stories. I know that was a big question for many, and the answer is yes, they'll be finished. I just need some time on my end to heal and recuperate. Please understand, and if you could pass the word on, I'd be so very grateful.

Thank you so much for all the support you've shown and the positivity you've brought to my life. My stories wouldn't be anything without you and neither would I.

Much love to you all!

Jess aka JMCullen09