Friday, September 24, 2010

TUS Chapter 24 Teaser

Sometimes in life, things have a way of coming at you, things you’d never expect in a million years. Some are good, some are bad, some are sitting on the threshold, leaving you unsure which direction they’ll tip, so you have to brace yourself for the impact, but all are equally unexpected.

And when you find yourself riding in the center of the vortex of unknown, your lungs feel like they’re compressed. You wait to breathe that sigh of relief or feel a crushing blow aimed right at your heart. The unknown can be thrilling, it can be scary and it can be lonely.

Then again, it could be all three at once, which is exactly what I discovered as I stood there with that picture in my hand. It was a mystery I couldn't make sense of.

This woman, whose face wasn’t just beautiful but appeared kind, smiled at the person behind the lens, her green eyes so hopeful. It was a closeup shot, which made her features very easily seen. She was young, eighteen maybe. Her hand was positioned against her cheek, hair nearly the same color as Edward’s blowing in the wind, a stray strand covering one of her fingers.

The backdrop was a meadow of some kind. There appeared to be lots of trees, along with wild flowers that tried to make their presence known even though the camera cut off much of their view.

I held that picture in my hand, whose edges were a little frayed, my body stock still, trying to find something to debunk what my brain was screaming at me, but I always came back to the same conclusion. This woman, she looked like Edward, so much that it was eerie. That realization aired a lot of questions, like a bunch of pistons firing off in my brain, but it all led to the biggest question of all… How was it even possible?

“What do you got there?” I never heard Alice move toward me… or even felt her peering around my arm.

I answered her, though I didn’t recognize my voice when I did, but my eyes stayed on the picture practically glued to my fingertips. “Who… who is this?”

She grabbed the picture from my hand, but not without resistance I didn’t realize I was giving. She stared at it, the smile on her face becoming a frown. “This was my Aunt Elizabeth, my mom’s younger sister.”

Even through the shock I caught the obvious innuendo, but I still asked the question anyhow. “What do you mean 'was'?”

Her shoulders slouched, her words carried a saddened undertone. “She died… before I was born.”

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

CF Chapter 10 teaser

The full chapter will post Tuesday, September 28.

This is in Edward pov.

My mouth was claiming hers, hot and hungry, like I needed her fucking taste to live off of. My hands were working their way up the soft skin of her thighs, thighs I wanted to be parting so I could settle myself between them and bury myself inside her.

I wanted her so fucking bad. And the want for her, it only seemed to magnify. I felt like I was this goddamn ball of flame around her, searing with a need that consumed me in ways I had no words for. It fucked with my head because I couldn’t understand all these feelings crashing down on me like steel weight, especially the warm sensation that suffused through my chest the second I laid eyes on her. It didn’t matter, though, did it? Because all that shit, that’s what led me here.

I repositioned her in my lap so she was straddling me, her knees digging into the cushions of the couch, without moving my mouth from hers. I’d rather cut off my motherfucking eyelids than pull my lips away and lose the taste of her mouth… unless it was between her legs I was tasting. Either one, it didn’t matter.

She was pulling back, but I tried to hold her to me. She gasped, breathing out my name. “Edward…”

I pulled her back against me, her chest pressing into mine. I loved the feel of her body up against me. “Don’t stop, Bella.”

Her brown eyes stared back at me, hooded with a need that matched my own, but a defiance blazing underneath that made my dick so hard it ached for some fucking relief.

She closed her eyes, breathing in deep before opening them again, her voice sounding sultry and sexed up. “It’s not going to work. I… I know what you’re trying to do.”

I lifted my eyebrow, smirking up at her as I shifted my hips upward, loving the whimper I got in exchange. “Give me a few more seconds, and I’ll show you what I’m trying to do.”

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

CF Chapter 9 Teaser

 Bella's pov of the hallway scene:

"Feels so fucking good, doesn't it? I can make it feel better than that. You want me to make it feel better, Bella?"
Oh God, what was he doing to me? No one had ever touched me the way he was.

His voice was like liquid desire as it whispered across my heated skin, promising my body the most delicious pleasure it would ever know. Every word rippled across my flesh, attacking every nerve ending, making my body scream for more.

It was a struggle to open my eyes and look at him, because the sensations he caused me to feel was unlike anything I’d ever known before. The pleasure was swirling around me, wrapping me in all that was Edward. I was literally being consumed by him.

His eyes… Oh God, his eyes. I was nearly leveled by the desire I saw within them. An ache of need formed between my legs, eclipsing better judgment on my part, making me want Edward in a way I’d never wanted anyone.

There was a muffled voice in the back of my mind, and I tried to pause what was happening enough to understand what the voice was trying to tell me, but when he thrust against me and I felt his erection between my legs, the voice completely died out. There were no voices, nothing moving through me or around me but Edward.

 I want you scene:

"I fucking want you," he admitted through gritted teeth. "And I fucking hate that I do. So stop. Stop whatever it is you're doing."

I stared back at him with wide eyes. “I’m not doing-”

“Yes, you are,” he countered. “All you have to fucking do is breathe, Bella, and you make me want you.” He shook his head, his expression pained as he closed his eyes, leaning in closer so I could feel his breath on my skin. Goosebumps formed over my flesh. “I don’t want this shit, but I can’t stop it. I can’t stop what you’re doing to me.”

“Edward, we shouldn’t-”

My words caught in the back of my throat the moment his nose skimmed along my neck, and I heard him inhale deeply before pressing his lips against the skin below my ear.

“Stop doing this to me, Bella.” His lips brushed against my ear as he spoke in a crushed whisper. “Stop before I do something that wouldn’t be good for either of us.”

I swallowed thickly. “I don’t know what you’re-”

“Do it before it’s too late. Stop before I make you mine.”

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Chancing Fate Poem

This wonderful poem was written by hayboo05 for my fic, Chancing Fate.

Chancing Fate

She has me.
Why I fight it I'm not sure.
She consumes me.
Disrobes me of the armor I wear.
I want her.
I need her.
I shouldn't.
I don't want to.
To deny her entry isn't an option.
She's my center.
She's the light of hope I thought burnt out long ago

Monday, August 16, 2010

TUS Chapter 22 Teaser

Edward’s hands cupped my face as he pressed his tall frame against mine. It was like he was trying to meld our bodies together, forcing us to become one being.

This kiss was so different from any other we’d shared. They were always tender, always gentle, but this kiss, this kiss felt desperate, like he believed he was losing something. I knew I should pull away from him and explain that he had nothing to worry about, that he was the only person that would ever own my heart – I knew that without a doubt to be true - but I couldn’t bring myself to stop, so I kissed him back just as fiercely as he was me, telling him with my kiss that I was only his.

His lips pushed and pulled against mine, and I was lost to everything but him, yet the moment I felt his tongue caress my bottom lip, trying to enter my mouth, I was sure my knees would buckle. We’d only ever kissed that way once before, where our tongues briefly touched, but I had initiated. When my tongue had grazed his, he was a little startled at first – he caught on quickly, though.

This time, he was taking the lead. And the way the kiss began, needy and desperate, then morphed to his taking control in a way he’d never done before, made it quite clear what he was thinking, even if I hadn’t understood before now. He was making his claim on me. He was marking me as his.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

TUS Chapter 21 Teaser

I climbed out of Alice’s spare bed - she was still sleeping - and woke her up, telling her I was going home. She mumbled in response, then rolled back on her stomach, burying her face in her pillow. I could have stayed a bit longer, but I really just wanted to get home, shower and go to the hospital.

I closed the door softly behind me when I entered my house. I was pretty sure Emmett was still asleep, but I didn’t know about Charlie. He’d mentioned going fishing today, so I half expected him to be gone when I got home, but his car was still in the driveway.

I moved up the stairs quietly toward my room, but nearly jumped out of my skin when Emmett threw his bedroom door open, smiling widely when he saw that he’d startled me.

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost, Sis,” he teased.

I glared at him. “Real funny, Emmett. You just scared me half to death.”

“I wasn’t trying to,” he laughed. “Why were you sneaking in, anyway?”

“I thought you were asleep,” I explained. “I didn’t want to wake you up.”

I moved around him, wanting to kick him in the leg or punch him because he stood there laughing at me. I was pushing my bedroom door open, ready to walk inside, when he spoke again.

“Don’t forget, five o’clock.”

The sounds of his heavy feet - which clearly showed there was extra pep in his step - hitting the wooden floor reverberated through the hallway, but his footing stopped short when I spun around on my heels, completely confused by what he meant, and said, “What are you talking about?”

He turned around, his forehead creased as he stared at me, apparently puzzled as to why I had no idea what he was talking about. “The concert, Bella. Remember, you’re going with Mike?

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Chancing Fate Chapter 6 Teaser

Bella was fucking with my head in ways I couldn’t understand, and it was beyond frustrating because I had parts of me warring with each other over whatever the hell this was that was going on inside me now. I was rubbing all up on her face with mine, nearly kissing her because I couldn’t seem to control myself around her. I could blame my dick for that, because my dick really seemed to like her even when I didn’t, but that was affection I didn’t give anyone, and that had me twisted up inside. I didn’t do affection.

I was trying to tell myself it was simply about getting in her pants, that it wasn’t anything more than that because I didn’t give a damn about her. The thing was, I’d desired other girls before, but it had never been this intense, and I had never had to deal with feeling something other than just wanting to stick my dick in them. Maybe if I just fucked the hell out of her like I had them, conquered her in the way I needed to, I’d be able to move on and not feel so restrained by her.

The fact that she was able to affect me at all highly pissed me off. I put up walls, barricaded my emotions so I wouldn’t feel any kind of attachment to anyone. I didn’t need that shit, I didn’t need to feel for anyone again, but she was making me fucking feel. It was all these things, wrapping me up, coiling around me, and it was suffocating the hell out of me.

I hated her and wanted her at the same time. But this want, it was driving me crazy insane. I’d never wanted like this before. I wanted to use her body in ways she couldn’t even dream up, fuck the pain right out of our hearts, but for some reason I couldn’t figure out, I didn’t want to just fuck her, I wanted to consume her. She made me feel so goddamn primal that all I wanted to do was mark every part of her, inside and out, to the point that no matter how hard she tried to forget, I’d always be inside her fucking head like she was mine. Feeling any of this shit, it was not okay, and I just wanted to get away from her.

I reached Paula’s office, knocking loudly against the metal door. She had to fix this and she had to do it now, because working directly with Bella was not going to fucking happen any longer.

She opened the door, eyes narrowing as soon as she realized it was me. I was in the mood for her shit even less than normal right now, but I’d deal with it if she’d put Bella with someone else, preferably on the other side of the store where I couldn’t see her.

She chomped her gum, staring at me as if I were a fucking bug she wanted to squash.

The feeling is mutual, bitch, I thought.

I knew she hated me more than anyone else, I knew I was an asshole, but I didn’t try to hide that shit. It was who I was, who I needed to be. Paula was a kiss ass to the owners, acting all kind and like she gave a damn in their presence, but that bitch’s multiple personality came out when they weren’t around.

When she finally spoke, her tone matched her icy stare. “What do you want, Edward?”

“I got a problem I need fixed,” I said curtly.

She smiled smugly, like knowing I had a problem was the highlight of her fucking existence. “And what exactly is this problem you need fixed, Edward?”

“Bella,” I answered.

Saturday, July 10, 2010

FGB Outtake Info

TeamTUS members,

You won the #FGB auction, as you well know. The votes have been tallied as to which two chapters I'll be writing in Epov. Scenes were offered and most voted for their first kiss, as well as Chapter 19. The next highest votes went to the fireworks scene. Well, their first kiss started at the end of 17, so I decided to combine that with the fireworks, which is in Chapter 18. So that means, you'll get the end of Chapter 17 and all of 18 in Epov. You'll also get Chapter 19 in Epov.

Now, here's what you didn't know. I've decided that I'm going to write a bit of the shower scene in Epov as an extra gift for being so charitable to an amazing cause, which you will get along with the two other outtakes. That also means you'll get a glimpse of the dream that led him to waking up and looking for Bella and you'll know what he was thinking when he saw her.

I had originally said that the two outtakes wouldn't be more than 5000 words, but if they end up being more than that, I don't think you'd be opposed, would you? Lol. The shower scene in Epov will only be between 1000-5000 words.

I had also stated that I would not post these on FF'n, my blog or any other site, but I will post them on these sites ONLY if the team wants them posted at a later date. I leave that decision to the team. Majority vote decides. Sophy and I will get your answer to that through email once I've finished and given her the outtakes to send to the members.

Anyway, that's what you'll be receiving. I'll be working on them shortly, and as soon as they are finished, Sophy will send them out to you.

Lastly, I'd like to thank you all from the bottom of my heart for your donations. Every dollar makes a difference, and because of your generosity, you've helped open that door a little bit wider in furthering the ability to find a cure for all children with cancer.

Sunday, June 27, 2010

The Unaccompanied Soul Chapter 19 Teaser

My body reacted to what he said immediately, because the words Edward spoke, the conviction within them, sparked an acute longing to be even closer to him than I already was.

The sensation was heady as it traveled through me, causing goosebumps to break out across my flesh. It wasn’t just about the physical closeness, though I realized how much I’d honestly grown to need the warmth of his touch in whatever capacity he gave it, even if it was just a mere look from his eyes, it was also about the emotional closeness I’d found with him.

I had never experienced a connection to someone like the undeniable connection I felt toward Edward. I wasn’t positive as to whether or not my particular feelings were shared, but regardless of the answer, my heart and soul didn’t seem to care either way. Every minute, every second, I was falling deeper, his mark indefinite upon me. I swear it felt as if I was always meant to belong to him.

I’d always been the one to give something, to take care of someone, and though I was doing just that with Edward, it felt different from every other time - I felt like I was being given to just as equally as I was giving. I was a bit confused by that because part of me seemed to understand, yet it was on lockdown from me, other than cryptic sensations I was occasionally granted.

I guess the truth was that Edward was teaching me as much as I was teaching him. He taught me how fulfilling handing over my heart could be, even if he didn’t know he owned it, even if it ended up broken later. Loving someone meant putting their needs above your own, but I never realized how gratifying that could be until Edward. I never realized I could love this much.

Monday, June 7, 2010

TUS and CF Posting Schedule

I asked some time last week opinions on posting schedule, whether readers would like a weekly post of 6-7000 word chapters, or if they'd like biweekly longer chapters on a set day. The majority of those answering either said biweekly or whatever I was comfortable with.

Honestly, with my kids being out of school and my son being in baseball, it would be so much easier for me to update biweekly. So, here's how the scheduling will go...

Chancing Fate:

Teaser: Tuesday (biweekly)
Chapter post: Wednesday (biweekly)

The Unaccompanied Soul:

Teaser: Thursday (biweekly)
Chapter post: Friday (biweekly)

For Keeps 

Teaser: Thursday (weekly)
Chapter post: Friday (weekly) 

Now, Chancing fate won't really increase much in length, but The Unaccompanied Soul will. I'm not saying they'll be disgustingly long chapters, but probably a few thousand words longer. No biggie, right?

Monday, May 31, 2010


Amazing poem written by hayboo05

It used to be just me & him.
I'd keep the bad away & he'd love me so.
We made it through all the punishment, the pain, & the tears together.
Then one night, we found her.
Or maybe, she found us.
I could tell she was good, pure, warm.
She gave me a name & made him smile.
I was to be Lancelot.
She said I was brave.
And at that moment, I felt invincible.
I'd watch over them both.
Keep them safe, while they learned that love is unexpected.
That they had softness that only each other could see.
I knew even then, we were a family.
Edward, Bella, & Me.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Chapter 17 Teaser

“I don’t know what I’m doing,” I blurted out, tears leaving my skin a blotched mess of runny mascara as they traveled down my cheeks. It was the first time that I openly admitted that I wasn’t sure if I knew what I was doing, that I didn’t know if what I’d already done to help Edward was enough in the grand scheme of things. I didn’t know if I was enough. I was questioning myself and my ability to help him, but talking to Alice after holding all this in for so long unraveled me, making me really see what I’d been trying not to. Edward needed more.

I wanted to believe I was healing him somehow, even if it was only a small fraction. I think I was, but there was so much in depth pain buried inside of him, I wondered if I’d barely even scratched the surface. My feelings kept me from being objective about him because I wanted to believe I could do it on my own. I realized I was being na├»ve, and in doing so, I was being selfish.

She reached for my hand, giving me a warm smile. “Bella, you reached out to him, he reached back. From what you’ve told me about him, that’s a big deal. You did that. You made that happen. And personally, I think the fact that you love him was the catalyst for what he’s overcome.”

“Yeah, but is loving him enough?” I questioned. “And I worry that the way I feel about him might do more harm than good, especially now.”

She stared at me incredulously. “Why would you say that? Why would you think loving him would be harmful to him? Look what loving him has already done. Maybe if he knew or-”

“No,” I cut her off, shaking my head. “I can’t tell him how I feel about him.”

“Why not? Maybe that’s what he needs. Maybe he needs something solid to hold to.”

“That’s just it,” I stressed. “You don’t know Edward like I do. If he knew I loved him, he’d feel obligated to do what he felt I wanted him to, maybe even reciprocate those feelings toward me. And if he couldn’t feel that way because of how broken he is inside that would be one more thing he’d take on himself. One more thing he could say he was to blame for. One more failure of his. That’s not what I want.

“I don’t want him to feel like he has to give me anything because I feel the way I feel. I’m so afraid if he pushes too hard to get better, he’ll fold in on himself and fall deeper inside his own head, and then I’d lose him. I’m not too stupid to realize his recovery is going to take time, lots of time, and he doesn’t need the fact that I’ve fallen in love with him hanging over his head as a distraction. And it would be. I can’t put that kind of pressure on him, Alice. I don’t want him to want to get better because of me. I want him to want to do it for himself. This is about him, not me. It’s only ever been about him.”

Friday, May 14, 2010

Chapter 16: Truth Unfolds (teaser)

Edward’s eyes lowered to where his fingers grazed my skin. The spark from his touch surged through my body, making even the tips of my toes tingle. Goosebumps formed across my skin, covering every inch of me.

“Meu anjo,” he whispered. “Leva o mal.”  He gently rubbed his fingers back and forth over my heart.

I had no idea what he said to me, but the words were beautiful, and because they seemed so personal, my eyes closed from the intensity in which they impacted me. I knew whatever he’d just said was mine alone, that he’d never said the words to anyone else. They were meant for only me.

“Edward,” I breathed. I didn’t realize I was even speaking until the sound of his name hit the air.

His fingers stilled over my heart, and I opened my eyes, meeting his guilt ridden ones. “Bella…I… I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have… but your heart, I wanted to touch it and-” He paused, shaking his head, then began pulling his hand away.

If he only knew how much he’d already touched my heart.

I gripped his hand in mine, bringing it back to cover my heart with his palm. I wanted him to know it was okay, that he did nothing wrong. “You don’t have to be sorry for touching me.”

“It’s true,” he whispered as he stared at the hand placed over my heart.

“What is?”

“About the softness,” he murmured. “You can… see it.” His eyes met mine again. “I see yours because you are softness. It’s your heart.”

Friday, May 7, 2010

Chapter 15: A Piece of Beautiful (teaser)

Edward’s arm twitched against my hip, then he pulled it abruptly away as he nearly flung himself upright, scooting backward, eyes darting around the room, no doubt contemplating running.  If he moved any further from me, he’d fall right off the mattress onto the floor.  His knees were immediately pressed against his chest, arms wrapped around them, and his cheeks were as flushed as mine. “I…I’m…I didn’t-” He was stammering his words and as he did so, he never looked at me.  In fact, he looked everywhere but at me. Every word carried an intonation of regret and fear, and I felt sickened that he felt that way. But more importantly, I worried what feeling that way would do to him, if it would affect what we'd gained.

Here I was reacting to the fact that my chest was practically hanging out, but I never took into consideration how my reaction would affect him. It was obvious I’d not only startled him, but made him fearful too. I hadn’t meant to do either one, I’d just never had a guy openly stare at my chest that way. I’m Bella Swan, after all; hopelessly clumsy and hopelessly plain.

I mean, I knew his thoughts weren’t the same as other guys, but his face still showed curiosity, almost to the point of fascination. And that, the look in his eyes, the way his eyes studied me, heated my skin from head to toe, making me gasp more from that then embarrassment. I could blame my actions solely on the embarrassment but I knew better.  

Him staring at me, though I’m sure on his part was innocent, affected me and I had no idea what to do with that knowledge. But right now, what I felt didn’t matter because he was sitting there afraid and fixing that, that’s what mattered.

“Edward,” I began in a soft, nonthreatening tone. I had no actual idea what I was doing here, what to say, but I had to make an attempt. “Please don’t be upset. Please don’t pull away from me. I was half asleep. I just… I was startled and-”

He frowned, voice tiny and trembling. “I shouldn’t –” He paused, shaking his head.

“It’s okay,” I told him. “Really. Edward, I’m not angry. There’s no reason to be angry, okay? You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I just… wanted to know,” he whispered. His eyes finally met mine, glistening with unshed tears, but his bodily relaxed minutely.

“Know what?” I asked. My heart was aching painfully in my chest for him. He really seemed to think what he’d done was no short of depravity.

“About the softness.” He lowered his head, eyes focusing on his lap in shame. The more he revealed, the lower his voice became. “He told me about it…. the softness a girl has. He said it was beautiful. He said… he said I’d never know it - I wasn’t worthy. I didn't understand what he was saying, but I just wanted to know if I could see it… what he meant because I won’t… ever know it.”

Chapter 14: A State of Serenity and Rapport (Teaser)


“Uh, yeah, Alice, it’s me.”

Sorry,” she whispered, her voice gritty. “I had just dozed off when you called.”

I laughed. “Well, we had a late night, so I’m not surprised. I took a nap earlier myself.”

She chuckled loudly, but the sound was interrupted midway by a heavy yawn. “God, sorry about that,” she giggled. “Did I hear you say something about needing a favor?”

Our comfortable exchange had minutely distracted me from the reason I’d called to begin with, but now, well, now I was once again stressed. My whole body felt weighted by it. I had no idea if calling her was an entirely smart idea or how much I could and would tell her, but I knew in asking for her help, she was going to require something in exchange. And truthfully, even though I trusted Alice with my life, it wasn’t my life I was concerned about. But in order to pull this off, to be able to stay the entire night with Edward, I needed an alibi and complete secrecy when giving it. Alice was the only one who could give me that.

“Yeah,” I responded nervously. “I did.” I was positive she could hear the tension within my voice.

There was silence on her end as she waited for me to continue and silence on my end because I had no idea what my approach was yet. It wasn’t as if I had a great deal of time to think this through, so I needed the quiet to mull over what I should say to her.

Well?” she finally asked, breaking through the dead air. “What’s the favor?”

I still wasn’t entirely prepared, but I bit my lip as I readied myself to speak. Here goes nothing, I thought. And instead of speaking articulately, my response came out in a garbled rush. “Ineedyoutogivemeanalibi.”

I…uh…blah, blah what?” She was clearly mocking me. “English, Bella.”

I groaned out of frustration directly into the mouth piece, running the fingers of my free hand roughly through my hair. “I need you to give me an alibi.”

Oh, so that’s what you were saying,” she smirked. “What for?” 

“The entire night,” I murmured.

WHAT!” She practically squealed. “What are you up to, you naughty girl?” I had no doubt the wheels were turning inside that brain of hers, running through a plethora of scenarios leading me to asking such a request and none were appropriate.

My face flushed in embarrassment at her words, and I responded immediately without ideating how I should actually respond. “It’s not like that, and I can’t get into a lot of detail right now, Alice. I promise I’ll explain what I can later, but please, I just need to know if you’ll help me. I really need you to do this for me. It’s important.”

Way to go, Bella. That statement in itself would obviously fuel the “need to know” fire.

Oh, no, Bella Swan.” I could hear the sound her head made through the phone as she shook it, her tone firm when she spoke. “No info, no alibi.”

Chapter 13: Discern (teaser)

We remained in the doorway, standing on the threshold between his hallway and the boiler room, unspoken but holding onto one another. I never loosened my grip on his trembling form. If anything, I tightened it further. But now, I was feeling a little bit selfish here because I didn’t want to let him go…ever. I would gladly stand in this very spot for eternity, endure unspeakable leg cramps and discomfort, just to hold him, just to feel this…whatever it was. And I felt guilty for it, for feeling this way because it shouldn’t feel this right, and he certainly couldn’t reciprocate. That wasn’t a possibility, and I was angry at myself for allowing this feeling to creep up on me, for needing it, even if I didn’t quite understand it – which only served to add frustration to the many emotions enveloping my body now.

But he pressed his face further into my hair as he wrapped his arms fully around my waist in a tight embrace, then whispered in a shuddered breath, “Meu calor, meu anjo.”  

I had no idea what he’d just said or even in what language he spoke, but I did, in fact, believe that it wasn’t actually meant for my ears to hear; it was more a verbal musing that wasn’t really meant to be verbal. Edward was certainly proving to be more than I expected, not that that should have surprised me, and I had a feeling he just unknowingly revealed another layer.

Chapter 12: Method of Secrecy (Teaser)

My mouth dropped open, eyes widening in shock. His answer was not one I expected to hear at all. “What do you mean ‘here’?” I asked incredulously. He continued staring at me, wearing the same expression upon his face. He seemed thoroughly amused by my confusion. “You actually take a bath here?” He shook his head, which only served to confuse me more. “But you just said-”

“Shower, not bath…Bella,” he interrupted, cocking an eyebrow while still wearing that little smirk. My eyes widened further at his statement and facial expression. His reactions proved exactly how much of an enigma he really was. There were many layers to Edward; that much I ascertained.

“But I don’t…How do you...” I paused, running my hands down my face, shaking my head. I was completely stammering my words, thrown by the fact that he actually showered here. I never in a million years expected that, it just didn’t seem probable to me. Yeah, his body didn’t appear dirty so I figured he was able to manage some kind of personal hygiene, and I guess I really didn’t know what I anticipated him to say, but it wasn’t that. “Why…I mean, where do you shower in this place?”

He stared at me, eyes twinkling with intensity as his face shifted through emotions. I was trying to read him, trying to understand what I was seeing behind those green orbs, hoping to understand the reason behind his silence and the look he was giving me. And it dawned on me as his eyes roamed my face that he was doing the same, trying to read me. Was he afraid to tell me?

His eyes finally lowered toward his lap as he whispered, “Where…where I found you.”

Chapter 11: Endeavor the Warmth (Teaser)

I was staring openly at our hands to the exact spot our fingers touched.  Neither of us made a move to pull apart, nor did the sensation dissipate the longer our skin stayed connected.  “There’s…so much,” Edward breathed out.

My head snapped up, eyes locking onto his face. His were focused on our hands, but his expression more than defined his confusion – I understood that feeling all too well. I was wearing my confusion badge a lot since I’d met Edward.

One of his eyebrows was raised higher than the other, nose was slightly wrinkled and there was an obvious crease between his brows. “Why, Bella?” he whispered, shaking his head. I bit my lip hard, completely terrified of the underlying reason to his question. This thing that kept happening when we touched, was it too much for him? Would he want me to leave now?  I was terrified that was the case, that I was going to be rejected by him now, and because of that, I’d never wanted to know someone’s thoughts more than I did in this moment. “Why are you?”

“Why am I what?” I asked as I pulled my hand away, careful not to do so too abruptly.  I tried to mask the tension in my voice, but I knew I was failing miserably.

“It’s so warm. Why…why are you so warm?”

“I don’t-”

“He didn’t… It was never…” He seemed lost in his musings, so much so, I felt as if I were standing outside a room, eavesdropping. “He wasn’t warm.”

The way he said it, the agony twined with his words, made my heart feel as though someone took a straight razor to it, slicing through the tough muscle to the source of me, penetrating my soul. His pain had such a daunting affect on me, and I barely knew much about him or what happened to him. “Edward, what did he-”

He inhaled sharply, glancing down at his hands. “I don’t want to, Bella.”

“What, Edward?” I wanted to reach out to him, terrified I might be pushing too hard. No, what I really wanted to do was touch him again. “What don’t you want to?”

His eyes met mine pleadingly, and he exhaled his words on a crushed whisper. “Be in the cold anymore.”

Chapter 10: Labyrinth (teaser)

I tried to understand the sensation as I glided my fingertips across my bottom lip. It was unlike anything I’d ever felt before. It definitely felt like an electrical current or something of equal power, but it wasn’t painful. On the contrary, it was warm and intoxicating, like heated silk whispering along my skin. How I managed to feel that by sharing a touch with someone was beyond me.

Edward’s gasp interrupted my reverie, so I glanced up, meeting shocked eyes. I instantly froze, terrified that whatever happened between us in that touch would set him back, that I’d lose the ground I’d gained with him. “I’m…uh…sorry.” I ended up blurting out the first thing that came to mind, and it certainly wasn’t that articulate.

Apologizing may not have been the right approach, but it wasn’t as if I really knew what approach to take. I was flying completely blind here. But my apology didn’t seem to ease his tension, so I took a deep breath, doing the one thing I could think of, I told him the truth…sort of. “It’s okay, Edward, that was just a static shock. It happens sometimes when people touch each other or touch something metal. It happens to me every now and then when I grab onto a door knob.” He seemed to ease moderately, but there was something that passed within his eyes, something fleeting that I couldn’t name, but my heart definitely reacted to it.

Chapter 9: Acquiesce (teaser)

When I arrived, Marcus was on the second floor, filling a copious amount of lawn bags with garbage that lay cluttering the cemented floors.  I chuckled at his incoherent mutterings. “Bad morning?”

He laughed as he dropped the bag he held between his gloved hands. “You could say that.” He looked around, exhaling a sonorous breath in annoyance. “I knew this would be a lot of work, but no sooner do I get one portion finished, kids come through here vandalizing or partying, and I have a whole new mess to clean.”

“Marcus, I-”

“That wasn’t a jab at you, Bella,” he interrupted, his tone compassionate. “So please don’t take it that way.”

I nodded, cleared my throat, then gestured toward my tote bag. “I brought you lunch. Should I set it on your bench in the boiler room?”

“Bella,” he shook his head, sighing. “You have to stop doing that.”

“Why?” I asked. “I just…I’m sorry if I offended you.”

A small smile played at the corner of his lips. “You didn’t offend me, I’m just not used to someone doing something nice for me, let alone wanting to. I’ve never been high on anyone’s priority list. I guess what goes around comes around, right?”

“I don’t believe that,” I told him. “And it’s never too late to let people see the real you, because I happen to see someone who’s very unselfish.”

“You’re wrong, Bella. Taking care of one boy doesn’t make up for years of being self-absorbed.”

“I think it does. People change, Marcus. You’re proof of that.”

“If I’ve changed, it’s all because of that boy.”

Chapter 8: Meet the Parent (teaser)

I kept my eyes off him as he ate, because the last thing I wanted was for him to be self-conscious around me in any way, but I talked to him, telling him all about the idea Marcus and I came up with so I’d be able to stick around longer. I made sure to include, “Only if you want me to.” at the end of the sentence - which he seemed to. At least, that’s how I interpreted the grunt in response. Sometimes I wondered if he ever tired of me talking so much, but then again, I had to make up conversation for two people. In the end, I guess maybe he didn’t because he’d yet to ask me to stay away. I honestly hoped that day would never come.

Being that Edward presumably was a belated eater, or maybe it was simply because he still wasn’t used to being around someone while eating, even though he’d been doing it for the past week now, he’d just finished when six o’clock rolled around. I glanced up at him when I saw through my peripherals that he was laying his bowl beside him.

“It’s time for me to go, but I’ll be back in the morning.” I grabbed my tote bag, slinging it over my shoulder and stood up, stretching my limbs a little before I walked toward the only exit/entrance in the room.

“I wish-” he paused, as if hesitant to continue what he wanted to say. “I wish…you could stay.”

I stood inches from the door now, unmoving. “I do too.” I bit back the tears that stung the corner of my eyes. “But I’ll be back tomorrow.”

I moved through the doorway, knowing if I stood in that spot any longer or even chanced a look at him, I wouldn’t be able to bring myself to leave, and that was not a possibility right now; I had to leave. I’d barely cleared three steps between me and the doorway when I heard him say, “You…you make it…not hurt so much.”

The tears fell relentless now.

Chapter 7: The Plan (teaser)

I turned back around and proceeded down the hallway. I pushed through the doorway, parting the blanket that obstructed the door, and glanced around the room for Marcus. “Marcus, are you in here?”

He poked his head out from around the large boiler. “Yeah, I’m over here.” I stepped toward the boiler, stopping when I stood beside him. He was on his knees, fumbling through archaic parts piled in an old crate, but paused when he saw me next to him. “Everything alright?”

I sighed. “Yeah, everything’s fine. I just…do you remember when you told me if I needed anything to come find you?”

He nodded. “Of course.”

“Well,” I started, biting my lip. “I need your help.”

He immediately stood up. “Tell me what you need me to do.”  There was no delay, just a simple, sincere response.

Chapter 6: A Slight Progression (teaser)

I sat back up, placing my back against the wall and glanced over toward Edward. My mouth fell open, and I let out a low trembling breath. He’d been watching my interaction with Lancelot, and apparently was pleased by it because the right side of his mouth actually turned up into a small smile. I was completely staggered, though it was a pleasant shock.

I had to correct myself almost immediately so that my reaction didn’t startle him. I smiled back at him, and reached inside my bag to pull out the book. “I brought Walden by Henry David Thoreau. I hope you like it.”

I began to read, getting completely lost in the words. He remained quiet, of course, but listened intently to what I was saying…until the fourth chapter. “There is commonly sufficient space about us. Our horizon is never quite at our elbows. The thick wood is not just at our door, nor the pond, but somewhat is always clearing, familiar and worn by us, appropriated and fenced in some way, and reclaimed from Nature. For what reason have I this vast range and circuit, some square miles of unfrequented forest, for my privacy, abandoned to me by men? My nearest neighbor is a mile distant, and no house is visible from any place but the hill-tops within half a mile of my own. I have my horizon bounded by woods all to myself; a distant view of the railroad where it touches the pond on the one hand, and of the fence which skirts the woodland road on the other. But for-”

“I,” he started, then paused. I waited anxiously for him to continue speaking, my heart fluttered triumphantly in my chest, because that one word was the first word I’d heard from him in nearly a week, but right now, that one word was everything. He was staring at me, almost pleadingly, so I smiled to reassure him. “I…like it.” He glanced from me to the book.

“Me too,” I whispered hoarsely. I bit my lip to catharsis myself of my emotions. “This book was always one of my favorites. I have a weakness for classic literature.”

I swear he smiled again. It was fleeting, but it was there. “Please,” he whispered. 

Chapter 5: Puzzle Piece (teaser)

I was completely deadlocked; fear resonated through my entire body, disabling my ability to do anything but breathe in and out almost violently while practically crushing the fabric of the blanket between my fingers.

“It’s okay. You don’t have to be afraid because I’m not going to hurt you. I am, however, surprised you came back; especially to see the lad.”

I dropped the blanket, pivoted slowly on my heels, and flashed my light toward the voice, coming face to face with an elderly gentleman who was probably in his late fifties, early sixties. He had jet black hair with a tinge of gray, dark eyes, a bit on the thin side and rather tall. A person's face, especially their eyes, creates obvious and immediate cues that lead to the formation of an impression, and his told me, along with his smile, that he was good natured; I could feel it.

“W-what do you mean by ‘the lad’?”

He walked over toward the workbench, flicked on the lamp, and placed a grocery bag on top, then faced me once more, smiling as he pointed toward the entryway that led to the room Edward was hiding in. “The lad.”

“You mean…Edward?”

“Edward, heh?” He shook his head, the smile still appreciable. “Did he tell you his name?” I nodded. “After nearly seven years, I finally find out his name. Ah well, better late than never I always say.”

I gasped. “Seven years? What do you mean seven years?”

He nodded; his focus was now on the grocery bag as he removed items inside it. “That’s how long he’s been here.”

“Oh, my God,” I cried, feeling a mix of consternation and anger. “How could you…how could you keep him here, especially that long?”

His hands stilled, and his body went completely stagnant, until he finally turned to face me, wearing a pained expression. “I didn’t keep him here. I found him here.”

Chapter 4: Home Again (teaser)

Fifteen minutes later, I was sitting inside Charlie’s cruiser on my way to the hospital. “How’s the head, Kiddo? You doing okay?”

“Dad, I’m fine,” I chuckled. “I’d feel better if I could just get home in my own bed. I think an icepack would be good enough. I don’t need to see a doctor.”

“Bella,” he started; his tone authoritative. “You’re going. The way I see it, you gave your old man quite a scare, so the least you can do is go see Dr. Cullen and have him look at that head of yours. I realize you hate hospitals, but I’d feel better all the same if I knew you were okay.”

I sighed. “I don’t really have a choice, do I?”

He shook his head. “Nope.”

“How’s Emmett?” I asked. “Does he know that I-”

“He does,” Charlie interrupted. “He wanted to come, but I told him to stay home. He came with me to search for you. We’d barely been home an hour when you called. We weren’t giving up.”

“I’m sorry, Dad.”

“I’m just glad you’re okay, Bells. That’s all that matters.”

Chapter 3: Don't Go (teaser)

Time seemed to pass, possibly hours that we both stayed apoplectic in our neutral corners of the room. He, however, seemed as alert as he had hours ago, whereas I began feeling quite lethargic. I was having a difficult time keeping my eyes open, and the pain in my head was more noticeable now; probably due to the decrease of adrenalin in my system. I grappled against the fatigue, but failed miserably.

When I woke, I was still propped up against the wall, but I was once again covered with the sheet and something placed upon my lap. I gripped the sheet, pulling it down my body, seeing the tattered bear draped across my legs. I immediately glanced up toward the corner I knew he’d be in and saw him watching me; his face looked affable, almost innocent appearing. And somehow, in that moment as our eyes met, I understood he wouldn’t hurt me; that if I wanted to leave he’d let me.

I removed the sheet completely, placing the bear down gently on top, and shifted my body enough to brace my hands along the wall. I pulled myself up slowly, careful not to agitate my concussed head, then gently turned around, taking small steps toward the door. I watched him as I inched further toward the exit then glanced between him and the door just as I approached it. “T-thank you for…umm… helping me, but I need to leave. I’m…I’m going to go now.”

I reached for the door handle, twisting hard to open the door. “Don’t…go,” he whispered so soft in pitch, that had I not actually felt the words more than heard them, they probably would have been curtained from me. The tribulation in that two-worded plea sent a tumultuous ache through me, so acute that I painfully gripped the door handle within my hand. I instantly wanted to somehow comfort him, and it occurred to me because of that I was probably losing my mind.

Chapter 2: Enigma (teaser)


Thump, thump.


Thump, thump, thump!

My eyelids fluttered painfully over my eyes, and my heart felt as if it were beating in my head, reverberating off my eardrums straight to my brain. And when I turned slightly, hoping to alleviate the sound, an acute throbbing dominated the inside of my head.

I winced fully, and the echoed intonation only served to increase the tempo of the throbbing. Human instinct was to touch the part of you that hurt, but I was afraid if my fingers even lightly brushed over my forehead, and that wasn’t even where the full extent of the pain resided, it would only worsen the pain I was feeling.

Even still, through the biting discomfort, my eyelids steadily fluttered their way open. My vision was obscured, but I could make out that there was really nothing but blackness surrounding me anyway. Well, almost nothing but blackness.

As my vision focused, I noticed from my peripherals that there was a small patch of light dancing toward the corner of the room, and just as I recognized I was seeing some light, realization that I did not recognize where I was stormed its way across me like a tsunami. My breathing became staccato, which I noticed was the only sound I heard around me; everything else was silent.

I paused for the briefest second, trying to recollect anything that would explain why I was laying somewhere completely unfamiliar, surrounded by near darkness and breathing in a musty scent I wasn't accustomed to smelling. And then it hit me; I was spending the weekend with Alice, we’d went to that old hospital with a group of others, I was exploring the place with Jess, she lost her phone, I went to find it, I-

Oh God! I remember! 

Just as I recalled falling and those portentous green eyes, whose gaze I literally felt slick across my flesh, I was inundated with terror. I knew where I was now, and I did not want to be here. I attempted to prop myself up on my elbows, but the minute movement awarded me with a bout of nausea while augmenting the ache within my skull.  My eyelids literally wanted to close against the pain, but I fought to keep them open. It occurred to me that that struggle, keeping myself alert, could mean my life.

So I forced my eyelids to keep from shutting; my teeth clenched together, jaw completely taut, further intensifying my agony. And once my eyelids were fully open and free of closing on me, though the rest of my discomfort remained, my eyes darted around the room, searching for a way out of this place.

I’d barely made a full scan of the room when I heard an audible exhale of breath, and just like a magnet, I was drawn to the sound. There in the corner, where the room was moderately illuminated, was a shadow. I wasn’t alone, and I knew without an ounce of ambivalence who was there.

Chapter 1: Hide and Seek (teaser)

Here's a teaser of the first chapter. Hope you enjoy!

 I paused when I cleared the first room and neared the door of the large bathroom, urging my emotions to become sedate. I inhaled one last deep breath, then rounded the corner into the room, flashing the light desperately over the marred floor in search of Jess’s cell.

I became more frantic the more expanse of the floor my light drifted over with no cell phone in sight. I took a few steps forward, feeling the tears trickle against the corner of my eyes because the fear was now eating at my insides. I was ready to give up because I felt rocked by the terror when my light reflected over something shiny. I flashed the light back in the direction of the shiny object, finding Jess’s cell. I breathed out loudly in triumph, launched myself near it and bent over to pick it up. And just as I gripped the phone in my hands, the air became thick and chilling. Goosebumps literally attacked my body without mercy. I lifted up so slowly, mainly because I felt so paralyzed by whatever entered that room and altered the atmosphere.

And when I was finally standing upright, I eased the hand that held the flashlight up in front of me. There was a body standing just a few feet away, and though I knew there was someone there, it wasn’t actually real to me until I stopped at his face. But really, all I could focus on was the ominous green eyes that held mine. He stepped toward me, and I tried to scream, but the sound was caught in the back of my throat.

I couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe, couldn’t look away. The fear became so caustic that it felt as if I were being swallowed whole by it. But when he gripped my arm, something instinctual kicked in, something that aimed to preserve my life. I threw myself backward to get away, but in doing so, my foot caught on some broken tiling along the floor. The last thing I recalled before complete blackness was the way the light shimmered over his face as I fell, reflecting the deep green in his eyes, the same eyes that left me immobilized with fear.


As you can see, I have a new blog. I was considering opening a new one for awhile, one where I could post all my stories together, but kstewfangirl brought it up, and I decided it was high time I do it. It'll probably take me a few days to sort everything out with the site, but once I'm done, you'll not only be able to read the my stories on FF and Twi'd, but you'll be able to read them here too.

Monday, February 1, 2010

FK - Chapter Five: Becoming More

I know, this chapter has been a LONG time coming. Now, you all know this is a love triangle fic, and right now, Jas and B are together, and this chapter does have some Jas/B lovin'. If you can't handle that, don't read any further. Now, some good news for our E lovers.... Guess who's coming back next chapter? ;)   
Thank you as always to my amazing beta/editor, Iris. ILY, bb!

Okay, on with the show!

Chapter 5: Becoming More

In the brightest hour of my darkest day
I realized what is wrong with me
Can't get over you. Can't get through to you
It's been a helter-skelter romance from the start
Take these memories that are haunting me

The trip back to my apartment was probably the longest trip I’d ever made. My tires made a sloshing sound against the wet concrete as they coasted down the street toward home, and, in comparison, I felt pretty run over like the road.
It had been hard to pretend that I wasn’t disappointed with how abruptly the night ended, but a situation occurred, needing Jasper’s attention, so here I was on my way back home.  I, of course, took it as a sign.
It was almost as if something cosmic was defying any minute chance of me having any kind of a relationship. There was always something standing in the way of having someone in my life that could end up being my other half. I didn’t understand it, either. I led a pretty decent life, and yet, I was still alone. 
One night impacted the last two fucking months of my life. Who allows that to happen? No one but me, obviously.
I passed the blur of lights coming from buildings on either side of me, my mind overcome with the same thoughts that seemed to constantly bombard me while interweaving with new ones.  I’d never been more confused.
I couldn’t get Edward out of my system, even two months later, then Jasper comes into the picture. Now, not only did I constantly think about Edward, even miss him, the man who I only had one night with, but I had an attraction to Jasper, too. I strongly liked him.
 It was insane, this situation I found myself in. It seemed that something always set me back from moving forward. And honestly, given how I felt, it wasn’t entirely fair to Jasper to attempt a relationship.
 It wasn’t that I was non-committal in the relationship sense, because I was very committal, but the question was… Who did I actually want to be committed to? And really, why was I asking myself this question when one of the two men wasn’t an option?

After parking my car and literally banging my forehead against the steering wheel out of frustration, I took a deep breath, telling myself to quit being melodramatic and made my way up to my apartment.
 Unfortunately, walking into my apartment only reinforced the dramatics. It was funny how the climate changed as soon as you stepped into a place that held no life but your own fucking loneliness and disappointment. That kind of coldness blanketed the air and made you shiver in sorrow. You could even taste it in your mouth.  It was definitely not a fun place to be.
And, of course, feeling that way made me angry at myself because I hated dwelling. Feeling as unhappy as I did was almost absurd, because I had a decent life as far as monetary, but the truth was, I was very unhappy, and there were days when it got the best of me, chiseling away at my insides. What was the point to living comfortably when you had no one to share it with? I guess meeting two incredible men, that it seemed fate had not intended for me, made the desolation that was my life more astute.
I padded through the hallway to my room, heading directly to my closet to pull out something dry. I took off my wet clothes and changed into the t-shirt and a pair of boy shorts. I was home now, so it wasn’t as if I needed to be dressed up anymore.

I threw back my comforter and climbed underneath. I knew Jasper had intended to call if it wasn’t too late, but I might as well be comfortable while I waited. I flipped on the television, settling on Some Like It Hot playing on AMC. 
I snuggled up under the covers, watching Marilynn Monroe do her thing.

Time seemed to pass while I watched the movie, but no phone call came. I lay there waiting, hoping to at least hear his voice before I went to bed. Unfortunately, it seemed that wasn’t going to happen. My eyes fell shut as the exhaustion set in. I dozed off.

I wasn’t sure how long I was asleep when the sound of banging jolted me awake. I shot straight up in my bed, my heart racing from the sound. The banging started again, and I realized it was knocking. I looked at the clock beside my bed, red lights glaring a twelve o’clock across it. Who the fuck could be knocking at my door at twelve o‘clock?
I grabbed the knee length robe draped over my bedpost, slipped it on, and moved to the door. My only thought was that whoever was at my door had better have a damn good excuse at this late an hour. I opened the door, prepared to bitch someone out, but my mouth dropped open instead. 
“I’m sorry, Bella. I should have waited, or at least called you, but I couldn‘t wait. From the moment you walked out of my door, you were constantly on my mind. Calling just didn’t seem good enough. I had to see you.” Before I had time to process what he’d just said, Jasper was through my door, his arms were on the inside of my robe, already around me, and his body pressed against mine while his lips hungrily moved over my own.
My arms wrapped around his neck, my hands running through his hair and fisting handfuls through my fingers. My body sparked with desire from his touch. 
I pulled my lips from his, gasping for air and trying to manage the ability to speak. I wanted him in the worst way, but I didn’t want him to feel obligated simply because our date didn’t go according to plan. “Jasper, I…” 
He quickly silenced me with one of his fingers against my lips. “No talking, beautiful.” His hands reached underneath my thighs, lifting me up into his arms. I locked my legs around his waist as he walked us toward my bedroom. He crashed his lips to mine, pushing his tongue into my mouth.
As my mind realized what was about to happen, what my body was going to receive that it hadn’t in such a long time, I moaned into Jasper’s mouth.

We brushed against the wall in the hallway a few times before we finally made it into my bedroom. I knew we were near the bed when I felt the post rub my leg as we passed it. Jasper climbed on the bed with me still wrapped around him, settling us so that my head was resting against the pillows and he was on top of me.

He was nestled between my legs, but lifted up on his elbows to stare down at me. His eyes were smoldering with lust, and the desire that was apparent within them had me nearly writhing in anticipation of what was to come. 
Once clothing began finding its way to the floor, my eyes darted to his arms, watching the way the muscles twitched underneath with the movements he was making.
He drug his fingers lightly across the flesh of my stomach, goosebumps trailed the path his fingers took.
His eyes roamed from my face down to the parts of my body that were visible to him. I was completely exposed other than my boy shorts. I thought his next intention was to remove them, but he lowered himself back down on me, pressing his lips hard to mine. He parted my lips, pushing his tongue back into my mouth. The taste of him was exquisite, though much different from Edward. The flavor wasn’t quite as sweet, but intoxicating all the same.
The kiss intensified, our lips pushing and pulling hard against each other’s. His right hand moved slowly up my body, caressing. His fingers started off delicately, before they, too, reacted as greedy as his mouth. The feeling actually teetered between pleasure and pain, but the mere act had me so turned on, literally every nerve ending in my body ached from desire.
While his fingers expertly worked over my body, he moved his lips from mine, nipping and licking a trail from my jaw line down my collarbone, moving further down still. 
As his tongue tasted every part of me he could without removing his body from mine, my arousal intensified to the point the juices from my center coated the fabric that concealed it. 
He moved his hands to either side of my waist and began grinding his erection into me. I whimpered loudly when I felt how turned on he was.
He thrust against me a few more times before he moved his left hand between my legs, running his fingers over the fabric and making a trail along the length of my sex. “Jesus, Bella, you’re so…” His words tapered off,  breathy. “I want to feel you. God… I just… I really wanna feel you right now.” He pushed against the material, feeling how wet I was for him. I lifted my hips, using my body to plead for more. But not from his fingers. I knew they could satisfy me to climax, but I wanted something more. I wanted another part of him inside me.
“Jasper… please, I need you,” I pleaded.
There was no hesitation to his actions, no delay to hold him back from what we both needed. And there was nothing graceful about our actions, because we were purely driven by lust, and until he was inside of me, no movement to reach that desired effect would be quick enough for either of us.
There was no clothing left between us, no barrier to stop us from joining. I reached into my night stand, pulling out a condom and handed it to him. He quickly placed it on, then was seated back between my legs. I literally shook with need. I couldn’t wait any longer. 
And I didn’t have to. He hitched my left leg higher around his waist… then he was inside me. My body had been so wound with need that the moment he entered me, I nearly orgasmed. I was on the brink, right there, ready to plunge over the edge of intense pleasure. 
Jasper’s eyes squeezed shut, making tiny slits as he groaned out loudly. He could feel me tightening around him.
His breathing magnified and echoed the room. He ceased movement within me until his body was calmed enough to proceed. I knew that my body’s response was the reason for his paced movements. He needed to find control. 
He continued with slow, steady thrusts, and though it felt so damn good, I needed more from him. I bucked my hips underneath him to increase the pace in which he was moving within me. I didn’t want slow and cautious. It was a reminder of the one before him, the one I was trying to forget. So I urged for much harder and much faster. His eyes locked with mine, and a beautiful smile formed on his face. He knew what I wanted and seemed all too willing to give it to me.
His hips began working harder against mine, so that now he was pumping freely in and out of my body. The sound of slick skin slapping against skin and moans echoed through the room. There wasn’t a place from my chest to my lips that his mouth hadn’t tasted, but he continued to thrust into me with abandon.
I felt the start of my orgasm in the pit of my gut, working its way between my thighs. I knew it was coming, and I thought I had a little more time to enjoy how Jasper felt moving inside me, but he circled his hips, pushing deep within me while hitting my pleasure spot with the tip of his cock, and I came hard, crying out through the pleasure that rocked my body. 
Circling his hips a few more times, Jasper then gave one final, hard thrust into me. His movements ceased and a deep groan escaped his throat as he came. I watched his face, the way his eyes practically rolled into the back of his head and his expression teetered between pleasure and pain. Honestly, it was beautiful to see.
Suddenly, his body collapsed above mine, and I wrapped my arms around him, feeling his heart beat frantically while his chest heaved with staccato breaths.
We laid there for some time, calm and quiet, before he finally excused himself to the bathroom. When he came back, he moved beside me on the bed, where we remained, naked, side by side, staring into each other’s eyes. He finally spoke, his voice barely above a whisper. “Do you have any idea how truly remarkable you are?”
I smiled. “No, but I’m hoping you’ll enlighten me with the details.”
He laughed, then leaned forward, giving me a chaste but sweet kiss. “You really are beautiful, Bella, but it’s not just outward, though you are indeed a sight to look at. You have an inner beauty that is rare these days. Not to mention, you have this awesome sense of humor, and you’re unbelievably grounded. It’s like you don’t realize how gorgeous you really are, or maybe it just doesn’t matter. I’d say it’s a bit of both. But honestly, I find you quite amazing.”
“I could say the same about you, Jasper.” I ran my fingers through his damp hair as I spoke. “You’re good to the core, and what you just said made me feel good to the core.” 
He smirked. “Oh, darlin’, I could spend days on end making you feel good to your core.”
My mouth dropped open, and, of course, I had a hard time pronouncing any word due to the fact that my own  seemed to stall at the back of my throat. “Shit, Jasper, if you’re aiming for round two, it’s working rather well.”
He pulled me flush against his warm body, nuzzling his face into the crook of my neck, as his laughter filled the room. “Baby girl, I’d have no problem with a round two. As a matter of fact, I fully intended on it.”
I realized swiftly, I was in for a long night.


Jasper and I had been dating a little over a month now, though we weren’t very public with our relationship. The success of his band picked up, and I’d never been more proud of him. People knew his face when they passed him on the street, which was why I preferred our privacy. He agreed after I explained how I felt. I believed what was ours was ours alone, that what we had was not for anyone to have an opinion about. But our affection for one another was never marred by restraint behind closed doors.
I often stayed at his apartment, that was, of course, when he wasn’t commuting to some other city for his band. There were times I’d tag along, but my work schedule made it hard to go very often. I missed him when he was gone, and we talked often while he was away.
I’d made friends quickly with the other band members… Well, all but Alice. It wasn’t for my lack of trying, though. It was obvious to me she had feelings for Jasper, to which he brushed off when I mentioned it, saying they were only friends and I was reading too much into things. I certainly knew better, which was why I was positive she was thrilled when I was unable to attend their shows.
In the time Jasper and I had been together, my feelings deepened for him, but I wasn’t really positive that I was in love with him. I knew that I cared deeply, he made me happy, but I felt like a part of me was holding back, and I wasn’t sure why. I often wondered if maybe it had to do with something that might be wrong with me emotionally. 
It wasn’t that I doubted myself being able to love him, because, in all honestly, who couldn’t? He was the total package; gorgeous, loving, funny and everything that a girl could want. If I had to give an answer as to where I saw myself with Jasper, I would have to say that I was definitely falling for him, I just hadn’t taken the full plunge yet, hence my question about something being wrong with me. 
So, here I sat at my desk, trying to block out the feeling of exacerbation around my dick of a boss while once again contemplating my relationship with Jasper... as far as taking it to the next level. 
He’d been gone for a few days now, touring in Washington, and we really hadn‘t had a chance to speak much. I missed talking to him.
 I had a key to his apartment, so over the last few days, I stayed there, snuggling with his pillow at night. I didn’t feel so alone without him around that way.
Five o’clock came, and I was actually getting off work at my expected time. The plan was to head to my apartment to take care of a few things, grab some more clothing, then go to his place. Though, most of my wardrobe and necessities migrated to his place, I still had a few things I needed.
When I came home, I noticed most of the tenants standing outside. I didn’t see the building in flames, so I had no clue what was going on.
As I approached my apartment building, I saw the tenant below me, Lauren, and decided to ask her. “Lauren, what’s going on? Why is everyone waiting outside? I don’t see fire trucks or smoke.”
Her arms were crossed at her chest. She looked a mix of angry and broken-hearted. “Hey, Bella. You remember when the super said he had the piping fixed in your apartment?” I nodded. “Well, he lied.”
I felt my chest tighten. “What do you mean he lied?” 
Her tone was angry but not directed toward me. “Apparently, he decided to go cheap on us. He wrapped the piping in duct tape, then covered it up with a connector, figuring that would hold it together. He was wrong. It busted today, flooding your apartment and a portion of the second floor before it made its way to the bottom floor, mainly my apartment since I‘m underneath you. What the hell was he thinking?”
“My fucking apartment is flooded?” I shrieked.
“Yours and mine both,” she said through gritted teeth. “It’s a mess. Of course, to save face, he’s putting us up in a hotel until the damage is fixed, but there are things that were in my apartment that can‘t be replaced. I‘m sure you have some yourself.”
“I don’t need a hotel. I have somewhere to go, but fuck. Those were all my possessions in there. Everything I own is in that apartment,” I growled.
“Believe me, Bella, I understand.” Tears spilled down her cheeks. “Pictures of my deceased parents were in my photo albums, and now they’re just gone. All I have left are memories now, and I’m afraid… I’m afraid over time I’ll forget their faces. I can’t forget their faces, Bella. I needed those pictures.”
My heart ached for her. I couldn’t begin to imagine the pain she felt inside. But she was right. The older we get, the less clear our mind projects our memories.
I wrapped my arms around her, hugging her to me. “I’m so sorry, Lauren. I know it doesn’t amount for anything, and it surely can’t bring back your pictures, but I’m really sorry.” I held her to me, letting her cry out her anguish. When her body finally ceased it’s shaking from the sobs, I pulled away to look at her. “I have to go, but I don’t want to leave you if you’re not okay.”
She wiped at the remainder of the tears that were slowly making a trail down her cheeks. “No, you go. Get yourself settled in. I’ll be alright. I need to find out what hotel I’m going to be at and see what he intends to do about the property damage in our apartments.”
“Well, I’m going to have a few words with our lovely super before I leave. I do work for a lawyer, so I expect that we’ll be compensated well for our loss, especially since it was his negligence that caused this mess to begin with.” I was in no way joking around and beyond seething with anger. Lauren’s turmoil only fueled it more.
I searched out Mr. Phelps, our super, and discussed exactly what I expected to be done about the damage. I made it a point to stress that I would round up all the damaged items in my home and calculate the cost to replace what could be and the amount of compensation for what could not… with the help of my lawyer boss, of course.
One mention of the word lawyer and exactly who that lawyer was, he became more cooperative. I also made it clear that Lauren and any other tenants who suffered property damage would be expecting the same cooperation with their personal effects. 
When I finally finished issuing my demands, I gave Lauren one last hug, telling her everything would be alright, and headed back to my car.
I drove the distance to Jasper’s place, anger and dread seeping from every pore of my body. There were many things that could be replaced, but I had old family heirlooms and pictures that most likely were ruined forever.
When I finally got to Jasper’s apartment, I immediately took the steps to his room so that I could find some comfortable clothing to change into. I was too wired at the moment, not in a good way, and I needed to unwind. 
After changing into a comfortable pair of pajama pants and tank-shirt, I strode back down the stairs to make me something for dinner. I was actually in the middle of preparing a salad when my cell rang. I answered it after the second ring, but because of the tune that played, I knew it was Jasper. I was definitely happy to hear from him, but my anger hadn’t completely dissipated yet. “Hey, babe.”
Hey, beautiful, I’ve missed you,” he said.
“I’ve missed you, too,” I answered. It was only after the words came out that I realized they didn’t sound as sincere as they usually did.
He noticed. “Uh-oh. I know that tone. Did I do something wrong?
He was gone, I missed him, and I felt shitty for allowing my anger to interfere with the time we had, intentional or not. “No, babe, it’s not you. You didn’t do anything wrong,” I stressed. “You know how my days are at work.” I could practically hear him nod through the phone. “They’re pretty much always a disaster, but it wasn’t work that really topped the fucking cake for me today. I’ve been staying here at your place while you were gone because I've missed you, so I went to my apartment to get a few things and found out that my ass of a super never fixed the piping in my apartment. He put duct tape around it and a piece of shit connector that slid right off, so my apartment, a portion of the building and the one below it is now flooded.”
I heard him gasp at the other end. “Are you serious?”
“Unfortunately, yes,” I responded. “So, I hope you don’t mind an extra guest until it’s fixed.”
You know better than that,” he chuckled. “I love when you stay over, even if I’m not there. I’ll be home tomorrow, so you won‘t be there by yourself anymore. I was actually hoping you’d be around, anyway. I’ve got a friend coming back with me. I’d like you to meet him.” His tone was excited.
“Oh, I get to meet one of your groupies, eh?” I teased. Hearing his voice had a calming effect on me. I realized in hearing his voice, I actually missed him more than I let on.
E is hardly a groupie,” he laughed. “Besides, I think you’ll really like him. I may have to send him out for a few hours when I get home, though. I plan to ravish you as soon as I walk through that door.”
I giggled into the phone as I finished preparing my salad. “Well, I suppose he’ll just have to disappear for awhile then, because I have every intention of allowing you to ravish me.” 
I didn’t think you’d mind.” The laughter turned to sincerity. “I miss you, Bella. More than you realize. I can’t wait to be home and hold you.”
My heart thumped heavily in my chest. “I can’t wait, either. I miss you, too, babe.”
Silence ensued from his end of the conversation. I knew he was thinking, and I wondered if it had anything to do with what he wanted to say. “I really need to go, but I will see you tomorrow. I… I just miss you.”
“I just miss you, too,” I told him. “And I can’t wait for tomorrow. I’ll see you then, baby.”
Goodnight, beautiful.” The phone went silent.
I was excited about him coming home tomorrow and wondered what this friend of his was like. If he and Jasper were close, then he must be great. 
I placed my cell on the counter and grabbed a plate, adding my salad before sitting at the barstool to eat. When I finished, I cleaned up the mess and headed upstairs. It was nearly eight o’clock, still kind of early for a Friday night, but I decided to settle into bed, curling up with Jasper’s pillow to watch a movie.
I was half-way through Cops and Robbersons when my eyes felt heavy, repeatedly closing as I fought to keep them open and finish the movie.
Tomorrow would bring Jasper home, along with the mystery guest that he seemed so amped up about me meeting.