Chapter 11: Endeavor the Warmth (Teaser)

I was staring openly at our hands to the exact spot our fingers touched.  Neither of us made a move to pull apart, nor did the sensation dissipate the longer our skin stayed connected.  “There’s…so much,” Edward breathed out.

My head snapped up, eyes locking onto his face. His were focused on our hands, but his expression more than defined his confusion – I understood that feeling all too well. I was wearing my confusion badge a lot since I’d met Edward.

One of his eyebrows was raised higher than the other, nose was slightly wrinkled and there was an obvious crease between his brows. “Why, Bella?” he whispered, shaking his head. I bit my lip hard, completely terrified of the underlying reason to his question. This thing that kept happening when we touched, was it too much for him? Would he want me to leave now?  I was terrified that was the case, that I was going to be rejected by him now, and because of that, I’d never wanted to know someone’s thoughts more than I did in this moment. “Why are you?”

“Why am I what?” I asked as I pulled my hand away, careful not to do so too abruptly.  I tried to mask the tension in my voice, but I knew I was failing miserably.

“It’s so warm. Why…why are you so warm?”

“I don’t-”

“He didn’t… It was never…” He seemed lost in his musings, so much so, I felt as if I were standing outside a room, eavesdropping. “He wasn’t warm.”

The way he said it, the agony twined with his words, made my heart feel as though someone took a straight razor to it, slicing through the tough muscle to the source of me, penetrating my soul. His pain had such a daunting affect on me, and I barely knew much about him or what happened to him. “Edward, what did he-”

He inhaled sharply, glancing down at his hands. “I don’t want to, Bella.”

“What, Edward?” I wanted to reach out to him, terrified I might be pushing too hard. No, what I really wanted to do was touch him again. “What don’t you want to?”

His eyes met mine pleadingly, and he exhaled his words on a crushed whisper. “Be in the cold anymore.”