CF - Chapter Eight: Face the Music

Chapter 8: Face the Music

 

Snuff

Deliver me into my fate

If I'm alone I cannot hate

I don't deserve to have you

Ooh, my smile was taken long ago

If I can change I hope I never know

 

Edward

I sat there at that fucking lunch table, doing my best to ignore the fact that Bella was sitting across from me. I'd been doing well in outward appearances for the last week, but the shit I was feeling on the inside, the shit she made me feel, was breaking me down… piece by piece. I considered that I was probably losing my damn mind.

She was always inside my head. It didn't matter whether she was near me, or if I was lying in my bed with a bottle of Patron to help numb her away. She was haunting me and torturing me, making this fucking craving to make her mine so intense I was completely unraveling from the inside out. The feeling only became worse the more I tried to write her off. I was learning I couldn't escape her anymore than I could escape the fucked up shit that I relived in my nightmares.

Every little move she made across from me sent a wave of her goddamn scent in my direction. I even sniffed the air like a fucking scent stalker, but tried to make that shit look casual, like I was just inhaling through my nose instead of my mouth. Needless to say, I spent most of lunch with my dick hard.

I told myself not to look and the more I said it, the more I wanted to look at her. One quick look wouldn't matter. Yeah, that's what I told myself, but the second I glanced up all nonchalant and shit, her tongue slipped out of her mouth, gliding along her bottom lip to clean off some sauce. I choked on the fucking water I'd been drinking while digging my other hand into my thigh to keep my already tedious control in check enough so I didn't go flying across the table and fuck her right where she sat. At this point, I would not have minded that scenario. Onlookers be damned.

I forced my eyes down at the table while I got myself grounded. I started relaxing, other than my aching dick, but I was getting myself together… until Tyler opened his fucking mouth.

"So, Bella, I heard you mention that you didn't have to work on Friday, so I was wondering if you'd maybe want to go see a movie with me?"

My eyes shot up, landing right on Bella's face. I was instantly enraged. I wanted to break Tyler's fucking jaw. I didn't give a shit if it was irrational or not, because she wasn't my girl, but he still shouldn't be asking her out. She wasn't his. She'd never be his.

I watched her, the blush on her cheeks spreading down the visible part of her neck as she stared back at him. Her breathing increased, she bit her lip and flushed deeper. It was like she sensed me staring at her. She fucking knew I was looking, I knew she did, even if she wasn't staring back at me.

Don't fucking do it, Bella! Don't you say yes to him!

I really thought she was going to say no, because I willed her to tell Tyler to fuck off, until Alice opened her goddamn mouth about double dating with her and Jasper. My eyes drifted from Bella to Alice, and I was pretty much incinerating her with my eyes.

"Uh… yeah, that sounds great."

The moment she said yes, I shoved back in my chair, practically knocking it over as I left that fucking lunchroom. There was no way that sitting there in that chair any longer was a possibility, not after she told Tyler yes. I couldn't look at him without wanting to cause him serious pain. I wanted to hurt that motherfucker. I wasn't even sure how I managed to get up and leave at all.

The rage I felt, irrational or not, it made me feel almost homicidal as I shoved my way through that fucking lunchroom and out the doors to my car. I hadn't felt this level of fury since my mom died.

It was Bella who made me feel this shit. She was never supposed to belong to him. She was only supposed to be long to m-

She wasn't going to be his.

-OO-OO-OO-

I was still enraged during class. I couldn't look at Bella, not when all I wanted to do right then was claim her in front of every motherfucker in this school so they'd know not to even point their eyes in her general direction. I couldn't look at her because that's exactly what I would have done if my eyes met hers.

This carnal shit she had me feeling all the time, it was making me goddamn insane. I even had the urge to piss all over her locker, marking my territory. How fucked was that?

She sat next to me, those constant sighs and hums that came out of her mouth and the strawberry smell of her going straight to my dick. Even as angry as I was about her date with Tyler, it was a wonder I was able to function enough to open my book and appear as if I actually intended to fucking pay attention in class.

By the end of school, I was nothing more than a mass of fury that wrapped around every muscle and bone in my body. It wanted to punch its way out of my skin and launch itself at Tyler Crowley, especially when I saw him standing next to Bella's locker like he meant to fucking walk her out to her truck. Going over to her locker while both were standing there, whipping out my dick and marking my territory was looking better by the minute. If I pissed all over her locker, or fucked her right against it with him watching, maybe they'd both get a clue about what was mine.

It was this kind of irrational shit she made me think and feel that made me certain I was losing my mind. I wanted her out of me, because the more she shoved her way inside me, the less of me was left. Pretty soon, it would only be her.

I couldn't fucking let that happen, but I had no idea how to stop it.

Instead, I drove home long enough to eat and change, then took off to nowhere in particular. I mostly drove around, cranking the music loud enough to drown out thoughts I didn't want to be having. I stayed out until it was near time for everyone to be going to bed, then came home to a bottle of Patron to numb away the fucking shit inside my head.

The dreams of Bella interweaved a lot with the ones about my mom. The problem was, drinking myself to passing out meant I couldn't wake up from the nightmares when the shit got crazy – I had to man up and deal with them.

Thursday, I didn't talk to anyone. Not even Emmett and Jasper. My mood was becoming fouler the closer it came to Friday. Lunch was spent in my car… with some Patron.

I ignored Bella through biology, or so she thought. I didn't look at her, but I sure as hell smelled and heard her. Hell had a special place for people like me, and it consisted of brown eyes, the perfect fucking body, strawberry smelling skin and the name of Isabella Swan.

Friday, I was a motherfucking nightmare on legs. No one, and I mean no one, talked to me or even attempted to look at me. The warning to steer clear was practically oozing out of my pores and surrounding me like a giant billboard sign above my head.

Lunch, of course, was spent in my car, but this time getting high.

Even high, I couldn't unwind enough to enjoy it. I'm pretty sure Bella didn't breathe beside me in Biology. I was that aware of her. I was always that aware of her. I was also aware that the urge to make her mine rivaled the need to breathe in air. It burned my insides not giving in to the shit I was feeling for her, but the pain of staying away couldn't match the pain of losing her if I allowed myself to care.

I headed straight to work from school. Tanya was waiting for me, just like she always was, but I walked past her into the backroom. I wasn't in the mood to deal with her shit. She tried to proposition me, of course she would, but again, I wasn't in the fucking mood.

She got pissed, flicking her hair to one side as she stomped off like I owed her my attention. It all came down to the fact that I didn't let her all up on my dick. She wasn't the one my dick wanted.

My anger stewed the entire night, blackening the air around me to the point it was like inhaling thick, chalky smoke that angrily coated my lungs. All I could think about was her. Bella. Was she having fun with Tyler right now? And if she was, did that mean they'd start seeing each other? The thought of her and Tyler on their date, becoming a couple, fueled the already burning flame of anger inside me.

I finished working in a haze of anger, not giving a shit whether I did anything half-assed. By the time I clocked out, I was so wound up that I knew I couldn't just go home and lay in bed.

I drove around for awhile but finally gave into going home. Bella's truck was in the driveway, which meant she was there. As if I needed this shit right now with the way I was feeling.

I headed straight to my room and changed into a pair of sweat pants, then collapsed on my bed, reaching for the Patron beside my bed. I was getting low, so I'd have to pay Aro to get me some more in the morning. In the meantime, I didn't want to feel a damn thing.

I was laying in bed for some time, trying to drink myself into unconsciousness when I heard Alice's door creak open, followed by footsteps down the hall.

I could hear Bella outside my room, walking down the stairs. I knew it was her by the clumsy steps she took.

I wouldn't have needed to be told she was here even if I hadn't seen her truck in the driveway. I knew her fucking scent anywhere, and I was hard the second I smelled it.

I lay there, repetitively flexing the fingers of my free hand, wrapping my feet tighter in my sheet to keep from doing what I wanted so fucking desperately to do. I hadn't been able to sleep, knowing she was basically on the other side of that wall. I had at one point lifted my hand, palming the wall to see if I could somehow feel her.

The fact that she was here increased the need to know what the hell happened between her and Tyler on their date to something more intense than it had been. I wanted to know so damn bad, and now she was outside the room… alone. I knew there was no one up but me and her.

I wanted so many fucking things right then, and they all centered around Bella. She was the driving force behind me unwrapping myself from the sheet and the bottle of Patron in my left hand.

I stood up, setting the almost empty bottle on my nightstand, and walked toward my bedroom door as if I were being pulled by gravity toward her. I stepped quietly out of my room, closing the door slowly so it made no noise when I shut it. I started for the stairs, and just as I made it to the top step, Bella came around the corner, colliding right into me. The timing was perfect.

I could tell she was going to scream out of fear – she wasn't as acutely aware of me as I was her – but I clamped my hand over her mouth to hold back the sound. Her eyes blinked in the dark, like she was trying to adjust to the extremely dim lighting. I think she realized before her vision cleared that it was me in front of her, though.

She hadn't intended for us to run into each other, that much was clear, but I had come to seek her out despite warring myself over it. It was going to happen whether she planned it or not.

I could feel her warm breath on my hand and feel the heat radiating from her body to mine while the smell of her scent became heady because we were body to body. I closed my eyes, biting back a fucking groan. I was able to swallow it back, but I wasn't able to stop myself from becoming painfully hard behind my sweat pants.

I leaned forward, inhaling against her hair as I whispered in her ear. "Shhh… You wouldn't want to wake the others and shit, would you?"

She blinked again, but shook her head. I dropped my hand from her mouth while my eyes wandered over her body. Those fucking shorts she had on gripped her body while showing off those amazing legs of hers. My dick was so hard it ached.

"What are you doing out here, Bella?" I wanted her to the point my body thrummed with intense need, and that was not good on her part. "You shouldn't be out here… Not right now."

"Water." She was so fucking nervous. It was like she sensed the predator in me. It was true, though. I'd become so damn ravenous for her. "I… uh… needed water."

She tried to step away from me, shoving herself further against the wall behind her so she could get around me. It didn't work, not that I would have let her go by me now, anyway. But I smirked at her effort. It was too late for that shit now. I wanted her, and she was standing right there.

"Alice's room," she whimpered. "I'm… going there."

I stepped toward her, staring directly into her eyes, practically seeing into her soul. "Did you have fun on your date?" That word was like acid in my mouth.

"Yes."

That one-worded response was enough to spark the fury and the unending need to fucking bury myself inside her so she'd understand she belonged to no one but me. "Is that so?"

"Yes," she whispered.

"Did he kiss you, Bella?"

I was teetering on that edge again, so fucking close to losing my shit. If she said yes, I knew I'd leave in the clothes I now wore, despite the fact it was early in the morning, and go find Tyler so I could break his goddamn face.

She acted shocked I asked, so I told her it was a simple yes or no question – we were beyond the shocked shit now. She tried telling me it was none of my business, to which I made it perfectly fucking clear it was. Whether she liked or not, whether she realized it or not, she was my business.

I pressed myself against her, feeling her soft curves against my hard body. I had never wanted to push my way inside someone more than I did right then. God, I wanted her. "You shouldn't be out here, Bella. Not when you're in my head, and I'm trying to…" I paused, grinding my teeth together to hopefully gain some control while trying to fight against everything she was doing to me, but again, it was too late. In that moment of time, she fucking owned me. "Oh, fuck it."

I wrapped my arms around her waist, pulling her body tight against mine. I crashed my lips to hers. "Don't let me," I pleaded. It was as much for her as it was for myself, because I knew if my tongue entered her mouth, if I tasted her right then, the window for halting this shit was over.

She didn't fight me, didn't even try to stop my mouth from claiming hers. I didn't know if I wanted to thank her, or fucking yell at her for not having more a need for preservation of life.

"Stop me, Bella," I demanded in a low voice.

God, if you don't stop me right now, Bella, I won't be able to stop.

"No," she whispered back. She was so fucking defiant, and the fact that she defied me made my dick practically weep in satisfaction.

I groaned loudly, pushing my tongue inside her mouth. Fuck, she tasted so good.

It was over. That window closed. I was going to make her mine.

I reached down, gripping the underside of her thighs and hoisted her up, wrapping her legs around my waist. I pressed myself hard against her, pinning her body between mine and the wall, causing the head of my dick to brush against her pussy and her to moan into my mouth.

It was the sexiest fucking sound I'd ever heard. I wanted to keep manipulating her body in whatever way would cause that sound to come out of her mouth… over and over.

I thrust my hips upward as I slid my left hand up the side of her shorts and gripped my fingers around her ass, hitting that same spot that made her moan seconds before. I was rewarded with the same sound, a bit louder this time, while her tiny hands fisted into my hair, gripping almost painfully.

I wanted to tear those shorts off her body, yank my sweats down and plunge my way inside that tight warmth between her legs. It felt so damn good, the friction against my dick with our clothes on, but I wanted the barrier gone. I was going motherfucking insane for her.

She pulled her head back, gasping for air at the exact moment I thrust my hips against her again.

"Oh, God," she whimpered as she closed her eyes, her head hitting against the wall and making a thudding sound that echoed through the hallway. She was as far gone as I was.

I smirked up at her as I squeezed her right ass cheek. "Feels so fucking good, doesn't it? I can make it feel better than that. You want me to make it feel better, Bella?"

She opened her eyes, gazing down at me under hooded lids. "I… uh…" She paused, like she was trying to decide if she should let me, so I ground my dick into her again to help her decide. She closed her eyes and breathed, "Yes."

I brushed the hair off her shoulder and pushed the collar of her sweatshirt down a little, skimming my fingers along the delicate skin of her neck, then leaned forward, trailing my tongue along the same path my fingers had taken. Her whole body shivered in my arms. I grazed my teeth along her ear lobe before whispering, "I'm gonna make you feel good all over, Bella."

I shifted her in my grip so I could hold her better to me when I turned around. She wrapped her legs tighter around my waist, caging my dick closer to the warmth I wanted to be inside so badly. I groaned as I started for my room. Fuck, I couldn't wait to get inside that pussy.

I turned the handle and was just about to make my way inside the room with Bella when I heard Alice's door open.

"Bella?"

"Fuck," I hissed under my breath.

Bella's legs dropped from around my waist, and her body started sliding down mine. She briefly buried her face against my chest, like she was trying to crawl inside me and hide, then whispered, "I have to go. You need to let me go."

I didn't want to let her go, I wanted to take her to my bed, but fucking Alice ruined any chance of that.

"Go," I ground out.

She moved around me, telling Alice that she'd gone downstairs to get some water. It was possible Alice had seen us, but I really didn't care, and I didn't hear her say anything about it. I waited until Alice's door closed before I went inside my room, fighting the urge to slam everything around.

I was harder than I'd ever been, and the possibility of going to sleep like that was not going to fucking happen. I tried to think of shit that would turn me off, but nothing worked. I could smell Bella all over me, still taste her in my mouth, and even feel her soft body against mine.

I ended up whacking off twice before I was remotely sated enough to fall asleep.

-OO-OO-OO-

Now that I was more levelheaded, I knew the shit in the hallway between Bella and me shouldn't have happened. I wanted her, but it was wrong, even if it felt so fucking right.

Being so close to her last night, feeling her against me, allowing the walls to fall just a fraction for her, it made me realize how good inside she was. I wanted to have her wrapped around me forever so I could stay close to her. It also made me realize she deserved so much fucking better than me.

I could never be what she needed me to be. I couldn't give over parts of me that she would need in order to keep her as mine. I wasn't whole, hadn't been for a long time, and Bella wasn't one of these fucking girls like Tanya or Bree that were so easy to forget. Nothing about Bella was forgettable.

My bed felt like steel as I tossed and turned in the early morning. The light was just peering through the window, still darkened a bit by the passing night. I glanced at the alarm clock, meeting the red blaze that said it was nearly seven o'clock in the morning.

I rolled over, gripping my hair as I growled under my breath. I'd slept for shit, because all I could think about was Bella and what I'd done to her in my fucking hallway before Alice interrupted us. I thought about what would have happened if Alice hadn't interrupted, too. It would have been more than my tongue that had been inside Bella's body. I hated and thanked Alice for that shit.

Sleeping obviously wasn't going to happen, and lying in bed was doing nothing but driving me even more insane with thoughts of Bella and everything else I couldn't escape, so I got up and threw on some warm clothes, put on my coat and shoes, then took off outside. I didn't bother getting in my car, hell if I knew why, I just ran through the wooded area across the street from my house.

I ran through the mass of trees, running from her, running from fucking everything. I was tired of feeling this shit for her, but it was there, beating me down, making me want to make her mine. I just fucking wanted her so damn much.

I stopped before the trees parted, opening up to a vacant field. I turned around, trying to catch my breath while making sure no one was following me. I wasn't sure anyone had been awake when I left, but if they had, I wouldn't put it past them to try and follow me. Fixing me was on their daily routine. And I knew exactly what would happen if they did. I knew what the hell I'd do if they followed.

"You lost, boy?"

I turned around, coming face to face with an older man sitting on a broken tree stump, guitar in hand.

"Do I look like I'm fucking lost?" I hadn't been here before, but that shit didn't matter.

He shook his head, laughing, and began strumming lightly on the guitar. It was pretty damn awkward to say the least. Coming across an old man sitting outside in the fucking cold, even if he was bundled up like a goddamn Eskimo, playing guitar, was not something you saw every day.

"Well?"

He spoke two sentences, and he was already getting on my goddamn last nerve. "What's it to you, anyway?"

He smirked. "It's not. Just making conversation."

I'd had enough conversation, and I was not in the mood to be interrogated, least of all by some fucking old man I didn't know. If I wanted that shit, I'd just go home or find Bella.

"I don't make conversation with people I don't know." I said it like it was pretty fucking obvious, because it was.

"The name's Caius, but you can call me Smokey. And you are?" Was this asshole for real?

"What the fuck kind of name is Caius?" Yeah, I was a dick, but we already established that shit.

His head cocked to the side, his forehead a mass of scrunched lines as he studied me. I didn't like the way he was looking at me. "My birth name, obviously. You can tell me yours now, seeing as you just happened to stumble upon my property and completely disregarded the 'no trespassing' signs. Or I could just call-"

"Edward," I growled. "My fucking name is Edward." I didn't know this guy, but I knew enough to know I didn't like him, and I sure as hell didn't need another run-in with the cops.

He smirked again, throwing my words right back at me. "Well, what the fuck kind of name is Edward?"

This fucker was pissing me off. "Old man, you're getting on my last-"

"You didn't answer my question," he interrupted, unaffected by my anger. He stood from the tree trunk, holding the guitar at his side. "You lost?"

He was still staring at me like he was attempting to figure me out. It was too personal, the way he was looking at me, and I knew his question had nothing to do with misdirection.

"Not that it's any of your business, but no, I'm not lost."

"So arrogant," Caius mumbled. "Pain will do that."

"What the fuck did you just say to me?" I took a step toward him. I wasn't rationally thinking before I reacted, but this guy was running his mouth about shit he didn't know.

He lifted an eyebrow. "Like I said, pain will do that."

"What do you know about pain?" I asked through gritted teeth.

He lowered his gaze toward the ground. "Enough."

"Yeah, is that right? Well, you don't know shit about mine."

His eyes immediately lifted, meeting mine. The humor was gone, replaced with anger. "You think you got the corner market on pain, boy? Let me tell you, you don't. We all have our own pain, some worse than others, and it takes knowing pain pretty damn well to recognize it. We all have our vices to dealing with it, too. Some of us channel into something constructive." He gestured with his guitar. "And some of us decide to hate the world and everyone in it. Hate's a pretty strong emotion, boy, and it can destroy whatever humanity you have left inside you. You may think you want that darkness to swallow you up so you can disappear, so you won't feel anymore, but trust me, it's much worse at the bottom. It hurts a hell of a lot worse trying to climb your way out of it, too. And you will want to climb out of it."

That very moment, it was the first time the vice-like grip the anger held on my heart eased a fraction. I didn't understand why, but the change was definitely there. "You sound like you're speaking from personal experience and shit."

Caius nodded. "I am."

"Yeah, well, thanks for the advice, but I'm doing just fine on my own."

He smirked, shaking his head. "If that's so true, why are you running away?"

"I'm not fucking running away from anything," I said defensively.

He smirked again. "I don't know you, but-"

I cut him off. "That's right, you don't."

He narrowed his eyes, but began speaking again. "I don't know you, but you don't seem the type to be interested in nature walking. That's just an observation of mine, of course. Besides, you can't bullshit a bullshitter. Been there, done that. Remember?"

"I don't give a shit what you've done, old man." Yeah, I was back to pissed off. This fucker wouldn't lay off, but still, I stood there and listened to him talk, having no idea why the hell I did.

"Of course you don't." He chuckled at me. "I heard the same lecturing I'm giving you, and I hated it as much as you do. I probably shouldn't say anything, because it's not really my place, but-"

"Why don't you take your own advice and quit lecturing me, then. I don't need to hear this shit from you, too."

"Because I already found my salvation." He glanced off to the right, staring past the trees. "She was everything to me, and the cancer took her about five years ago. Took a part of me, too, when she passed on. I could be angry and resentful, and I was for awhile, but all that did was blacken the time God gave me to be with her.

"I didn't appreciate what I'd been given. I was selfish wanting more, and all that did was eat me up inside until that wound in my soul left me hollowed out. I was so empty. It took a long time to realize what I was doing to her memory with the hate. Every moment with her, it was precious, and nothing can replace it. I know you know that, boy."

He stared back at me, the harsh reality of his loss etched in every line on his face, in the dark blue of his aged eyes. "For awhile, God gave me an angel. She was my angel, came to me when I needed her most. She stayed with me until God decided he needed her back. This here…" He held up his guitar. "It'll never be her, but playing music from my heart, letting the tune carry out the pain and anger instead of holding it inside, it's like purging my soul. I don't feel so empty anymore.

"I chose to dig myself out of that hole. I wanted to be worthy of my angel." He stared at me for awhile, the silence drifting around me so fucking uncomfortably, I wanted to crawl out of my skin. "I know that look on your face too. You got an angel, boy?"

I glanced away, grinding my teeth, not even attempting to answer that loaded question, but I could hear the smile in his voice when he started talking again. He'd read me like an open book. "Yeah, you do, don't ya? You wouldn't be running like you are if you didn't. I didn't want to let my angel in either, but it didn't matter in the end. She found a way in good and proper. She took up the whole inside of me. I'll let you in on a little secret, though."

He sat his guitar down and clasped his hands together. "You can't run from what's meant to be. Fate, it finds you no matter where you go. I tried to run and hide, but when I finally gave in, when it became too much to stay away from her and I handed myself over willingly, I wondered why I ran to begin with. She saved me. That's what angels do whether you want them to or not. You'll find out soon enough."

"You don't know me at all, so how do you know all this shit about me? Have you been stalking me, old man?"

He laughed. "You'd be surprised what your eyes can see once you've lived a life like mine. But you, it doesn't take much to see what you got inside ya. You aren't trying to hide it well." He adjusted his coat, then stood up, reaching for his guitar. "It's getting pretty cold out here, and I'm late for an appointment. Go on to your angel, boy. The sooner you give in to fate, the sooner you aren't feeling so dead inside. Just remember, you can fight against her all you want, but you won't win. She's already in your soul. You running away only proves that."

How fucking right he was.

-OO-OO-OO-

I headed back to the house, but Bella was already gone. I overheard Alice tell Esme she'd gone into work for a few hours even though she'd been scheduled off. I went straight to my room, pacing back and forth.

Who the fuck was that man and how did he know anything about me?

I briefly stared outside, but it was as chaotic looking as I felt inside. That internal war never stopped, but it was raging fierce today.

I reached for the bottle of Patron at the side of my bed and brought it to my lips, but I couldn't bring myself to take a sip. God, I wanted to, but my hand wouldn't tip the bottle back no matter how much my brain tried to force it to.

It couldn't erase away every fucking thing that ate at me, I knew that shit, but it wasn't for lack of trying every night. All the liquid inside that bottle did was push my baggage to the back of my brain for a brief time, but it was still there, smirking in wait, ready to tear me apart some more when I was sober.

It festered inside, eating away at what little was left of anything good inside me, leaving me a black nothingness. But I felt, I fucking felt some life with Bella. She pointed those angel eyes on me, testing me in ways no one ever had, and made me feel like I used to when I wanted to live. It scared me to hell and back, but as much as I fought against it, I wanted it – I wanted her beyond all reason.

I didn't deserve her, didn't deserve to feel the life she breathed in me, but I fucking wanted it all. I didn't have the strength to stay away from her anymore. I tried and failed.

I wanted Bella.

I changed into my work clothes and grabbed my coat, then started for the stairs. I made it into the kitchen and was just about to open the back door when I heard Alice behind me.

"It's nice to have you back. I was beginning to wonder if you'd let it happen."

I turned around to see her standing against the door frame, a hand on her hip. It was the first time I'd really looked her in the eye in a long time. "You don't know what you're talking about, Alice. This is me. This is what the fuck I am."

She smiled softly. "No it's not. You're changing, but it's not because of your family. It doesn't matter, though. It's still happening."

I had a feeling Alice saw a lot more than she let on the night before, but if she wasn't going to say shit about it, then neither was I.

"Don't count on it."

Just as I closed the door behind me, I heard her tiny voice whisper, "I already see you, Edward."

I didn't stop moving to respond. I had somewhere to be.

I didn't have to be to work for another hour, but that didn't stop me from pulling into Higgenbotham's.

I pushed through the heavy glass door, scanning the store for the reason I was there to begin with. She wasn't at the registers or anywhere near the front of the store, so I started toward the back to search the aisles until I found her.

I could feel Tanya's eyes on me, but I didn't give her the fucking satisfaction of looking at her. I had one purpose for being there, and she wasn't it.

I moved from aisle to aisle, growing more anxious when I couldn't find Bella. Where the hell was she?

I managed to come across Paula when I neared the back of the store, but I breezed past her. "You're early," she called out to me.

"Yeah, well, I was attempting that employee of the month shit."

I could hear her laughing behind me.

I rounded the corner of the produce aisle and spotted Bella making her way into the backroom. I increased my pace, hoping to catch her while no one was around. I really didn't want to talk to her with prying ears that I knew these fuckers around here had.

I called out to her even though I was a few feet behind her. "Bella."

She stopped and turned around, shocked to see me. "Edward, what are you doing here?" She glanced at her watch, then back to me. "You aren't supposed to be here for another hour."

I had to say what I came here for before I allowed myself enough time to think it through. "We need to talk."

She sighed. "Look, you don't have to feel bad about-"

"I want you."

"W-what?" She gripped the collar of her turtleneck as she stared up at me in confusion with those angel eyes of hers.

"I can't do it anymore, Bella." I attempted to appear controlled, but my hands shook against my sides. Telling her how I felt, it was disarming me in a way I swore I'd never fucking allow again. "I can't stay away from you. I've fucking tried, and I can't do it. I just… I want you."