CF - Chapter Seven: True Colors

Chapter 7: True Colors

 

Outside

I'm on the outside

I'm looking in

I can see through you

See your true colors

Cause inside you're ugly

You're Ugly like me

I can see through you

See to the real you

"Where have you been?"

I'd barely been standing at my locker mere seconds when a tiny, rambunctious little body practically collided into mine. I laughed at the way she basically bounced on her feet with energy, her hazel eyes dancing with excitement. I almost didn't notice the sadness hidden within them.

"Good morning to you too, Alice."

"Good morning, Bella-ella," she giggled.

"You are a strange little person," I teased, laughing.

"I know," she agreed, nodding her head, her short black hair bobbing with the movement. "So… why were you late? Did you oversleep?"

I was leery about telling her, because I expected her to ask questions I wasn't ready to give answers to, people always did, but for some reason, I just couldn't lie to her. "I had a doctor's appointment."

"You're not sick, are you?" she questioned.

I shook my head. "No, I'm not sick. It was just… uh… a routine checkup."

Surprisingly, she didn't press for any more information. "Well, I'm glad you're here. Do you have to work tonight?" I shook my head, but stared back at her curiously. "Good. I wanted to talk to you about something, but I wasn't sure I'd have the opportunity because you weren't here this morning."

"I'm here now." I put my coat in my locker, then closed it and faced her. "Walk with me, and tell me what you wanted to talk to me about."

She sort of hopped in place and swung her body around, walking with me toward our third period class. "Emmett's birthday party is tonight, and he usually has a pretty big party every year for it. I'd like you to come, too."

Definitely not what I expected her to say. I figured it was probably about going shopping, visiting a spa, or something along those lines - which was also uncomfortable, but a bit more reserved than a party. The thing was, parties weren't my scene, but I hated the idea of hurting Alice's feelings. She didn't have to invite me.

I stopped moving, biting my bottom lip nervously as I looked down at her. "Well, I wasn't invited or anything."

She smiled. "Everyone's invited, Bella."

"I don't think so, Alice. I don't think it's-"

"He won't be there," she blurted out.

"What?" This was the part where I played dumb, but I knew exactly who she was talking about. "Who won't be there?"

"Edward," she replied. Her expression changed when she spoke his name, becoming sullen like it usually did when she mentioned him. "I mean, if that's the reason why you're trying to say no. I know you two don't get along and all, but he has to work tonight, so you don't have to worry about him being there. You'll have fun, I promise."

I shrugged, scrunching up my nose like I'd gotten a whiff of something pretty stank. That's how appealing parties were to me. "I really don't know, Alice. Parties just aren't my thing. And I don't know many people, you know? I'd feel awkward going to someone's party that I'm not real familiar with."

"Please, Bella," she pouted. "It would really mean a lot to me if you came along."

I was acutely aware that she was not going to give up. I sighed. "Look, I'll think about it, okay? I'll let you know before school's over."

She clapped her hands together. "Okay. But just so you know, Bella Swan, you will be going with me tonight, and I'm going to make sure you have the time of your life."

Little did I know, Alice Cullen could be relentless when she wanted something. And she was completely relentless all the way through the latter half of lunch. I only had a minor reprieve from her pouty lip and pleading eyes when I headed out to my truck right before fifth period to retrieve my Biology book.

I really didn't think things could get much worse, but I was wrong. The sky opened up, and large pelts of rain came pouring down on me. My hair was soaked, making me look like a drowned rat, I was late to class, and Edward "Confusing asshole" Cullen stared at me through Biology like I was… Hell, I don't know. Dinner, maybe? He made my head hurt with how confusing he was.

By the time the final bell rang, I was just ready to go home and maybe pack my brain with ice to numb away the past twenty-four hours because the day had been confusing and awkward, to say the least. I bypassed my locker, figuring Alice would be there waiting for me. She wasn't, she was waiting near the red bomb instead, wearing a wide smile and an overstuffed book bag.

I exhaled heavily as I walked toward my truck, hanging my head in defeat. The little sprite was not going to give up.

"Bella," she beamed. "I figured I'd wait here for you and-"

"Alright, alright." I held up my hands, emblematic of waving the white flag. "I'll go with you to the party."

Her smile fell, morphing into a frown. "I didn't… I'm sorry if I was being pushy about you going. You don't have to go, Bella. I just… I know you don't know many people here, and I know that we don't know each other really well, but I like hanging out with you, and I get the feeling that you really understand things. I don't have that with anyone else, and I know you don't either, so I thought-"

"Hey." I reached for her arm, feeling guilty about making such a big deal of going to Emmett's party. Alice was reaching out to me, hoping I'd reach back. Normally, the idea of allowing someone to know me was something I wasn't really comfortable with. There were parts of me that even the few friends I had in Phoenix didn't know, but with Alice, and I didn't understand why, the idea of changing that didn't seem so bad. "I'll go, okay?"

Maybe it wouldn't be so bad.

Her bright smile reappeared. "Would it be alright if we got ready at your place? I brought everything I'd need with me in my bag, so I could just ride with you… if you don't mind." She lifted her bag in gesture.

"Sure." I nodded. I unlocked my door, climbed inside and reached over to unlock the passenger door for her. I hated that the red bomb didn't have anything automatic.

She yammered away as I drove to my house. I'd never come across anyone who could change topic in three point two seconds and not be annoying, but Alice pulled it off quite well.

It wasn't until after I introduced her to Charlie – Renee was working – and we made it up to my room, that I realized she had anticipated this outcome all along. Not only had Alice brought along a change of clothing for herself, she brought one for me as well.

"Wow, it's like a bleach farm downstairs," she teased.

"Yeah," I mumbled as she handed me the clothing she brought. What was I supposed to say? Was I supposed to tell her that my mom was an avid cleaner? She was, but not because she wanted to be.

"I know it's not something you normally wear, but it still comes up to your neck." It wasn't until she mentioned my neck that I peeled my eyes off the shirt in my hands and glanced at her. "Yeah, you wear turtlenecks all the time, but I kinda guessed there was a reason behind it after you reacted the way you did during lunch. You know, when Edward treated you like he did?"

I remembered all too well.

My face felt hot, and it wasn't because of embarrassment... or maybe it was, but mostly because I didn't realize I was that transparent. I clutched my turtleneck that was hidden under my sweatshirt, stammering my words, "I… It's just that… There's things that-"

"You don't have to tell me, you know." She smiled as she sat along the edge of my bed, her fingers gliding lightly over the fringed ends of my blanket. "I'm not going to beg you to do that. It wouldn't be right. I'm already sort of forcing you to go to a party you don't really want to go to, but I honestly didn't have ulterior motives for that.

"Well, not entirely. I mean, you never smile, Bella. Not really. I know what that's like, and I guess I just wanted to do something to change that for both of us. But whatever it is you're hiding under that turtleneck, I can see you're uncomfortable talking about it. I just want you to know that you can talk to me, and whatever you tell me will stay between us. I mean that, Bella."

There wasn't a doubt in my mind she was being truthful. I'd never seen so much clarity and honesty in one person's eyes before.

I sat down beside her. If I was going to do this, tell her why I wore turtlenecks all the time, I'd need to be sitting down. I wasn't even sure why I wanted to tell her, because I'd never wanted to just open up about it before now, but I really wanted Alice to know.

"You don't have to say anything, but I… Can you just tell me that you're okay, Bella?"

I nodded, swallowing over the heavy lump in my throat.

"Is it bad?" she asked.

"I guess it depends on how you look at it," I murmured. "I'm not like… I'm different from you, Alice. I'm less."

"What?" she asked incredulously. "What does that mean? How can you think-"

"Because I am," I interrupted, speaking louder than I intended.

My eyes lowered toward the plush carpet of my bedroom, tears stinging my eyes. I hated this part. My next words were spoken in a crushed whisper. "My heart… it's not really mine."

"I don't understand." The question in her words was so loud inside my head, practically ringing in my ears.

"The turtlenecks… they hide my scar. They hide that I'm different, that I was too weak to hold onto my own heart, so I had to have someone else's. There's things I can't even do like you can. "

"You had a heart transplant." It was a statement, not a question. "And that's what the doctor's appointment was about."

I nodded.

"When did it happen?"

"Almost two years ago," I deadpanned.

"Bella." She turned her little body toward me, grabbing my hands in hers and squeezing. "I'm no expert on heart transplants or giving advice for that matter, but I can tell you what I see, okay? The way you feel about yourself, it's not the way I see you… or how many others see you either."

"That's because they don't know about me, Alice," I countered. "They just know I'm the weird girl who wears turtlenecks all the time."

She shook her head. "You're not weird, you're just self-conscious… but you don't have to be. That scar, your heart transplant, it doesn't make you different or weak. You still have the same parts, Bella, even if some weren't the ones you were born with. You still have a heart, just like everyone else does. You say it's not yours, but I'm sure it beats loud when you're excited about something or scared, and it hurts when you feel emotional pain. That makes it your heart more than you know. It loves what you love, dislikes what you don't. It feels what you do. It does everything it's supposed to do to make it yours.

"And you being weak? Not even close. Think of how strong you had to be in order to fight to live. You didn't give up; you're here. It means you're a survivor, Bella. There's nothing weak about that in my eyes."

I scrunched up my nose in disgust. "But this scar, it's just-"

"It's just you," she smiled. "It's part of you now, and if someone loves you, they'll love your scar, too."

"I doubt that," I replied curtly.

"What bothers you more about the fact that you had heart surgery?"

I cocked my head to the side, quirking an eyebrow. "How much time you got, because the list is pretty long?"

She laughed. "Educate me with your list, Miss Swan."

I sighed, wiping my eyes. "It's not just about the heart or the scar. That's a big part of it, yes, but I just… Being sick caused my parents to go bankrupt; it's why we're here. My health put a lot of stress on them. I sat and watched both my parents age because of worry over me, how they were going to afford the bills, or where we'd live if we lost our home."

"This scar," I said, patting my chest. "It's not just a reminder of the surgery, that I'll have this hideous looking mark on my body forever, it's a reminder of that too. I can't take back what they had to go through because of me."

"You act like this is something you should have been able to control. It's not, Bella. Things happen, things we can't control. Some of it's pretty shitty too. But you're alive, and it's very obvious that's the only thing that matters to your parents," she stated.

"I can't speak for your mom and dad, but I don't doubt they love you more than anything, Bella. You are the most important part of their life - that's what kids are to their parents. They do what they have to do for their child because they love them, you know… even if that child doesn't want them to." Her eyes held a far off look. "You can't put a price on love. You just can't. But you do what you have to do for the ones you love, no matter what the cost, because saving them, helping them, it's worth the other shit in the end, don't you think?"

I reached for her hand this time, wrapping my fingers around hers the moment I heard the sniffles. "I somehow get the feeling this isn't only about me."

She shrugged, wiping her eyes as she gave me a small smile. "Life's not always fair. I guess I've learned that the hard way… just like you. But we don't have to let it beat us down, right? We're going to go to this party, have fun and forget everything else."

"Yeah, that's what we're going to do." I couldn't help but smile at her determination. "Hey, Alice?"

"Yeah?"

"Quite a few people back home knew about my surgery, but I didn't have many friends or anything, so I… No one knows about me here, and I-"

"I won't say anything to anyone," she assured me.

"Umm… thank you."

"You're welcome," she smiled. "Alright, Bella-ella, I need to use the restroom, then we'll get you ready."

"It's just across the hall," I told her.

She actually skipped out of my room, giggling. Alice was a unique soul - there was no doubt about that. I watched after her, laughing, then turned back around after she closed the door and grabbed the shirt she'd brought me. It definitely came up high enough, but it seemed more form fitting than I normally wore. I could try it on, and if I didn't like the way it looked, if I wasn't comfortable enough, then I'd just put something else on. I could at least give it a try for her.

I glanced back at my bedroom door, then lifted my sweatshirt and turtleneck over my head, tossing them on my bed. I figured I had enough time to change since she was in the bathroom.

I pushed my arms into the sleeves, thinking it would be easier to get it on that way, and yanked the material up my arms, because apparently it was very form fitting. It was kinda like yoga pants material or something.

I was just pulling the neck of the shirt over my head when I heard the door and Alice's melodic voice. "I love the color scheme in-"

On instinct, I turned around as I finished setting the shirt around my neck. Her eyes instantly went to my scar and I wanted to cry. I practically tore the shirt down the upper half of my body and turned around, feeling the tears build and fall, rolling down my heated cheeks.

"Bella, I didn't know you'd be-"

"Please, don't," I pleaded in a whisper. "I just can't."

I didn't want to hear what she had to say. It was my fault, anyway. I was stupid.

She came up behind me, and out of nowhere, tiny arms wrapped around me, hugging me. "I know you didn't want me to see it, but even though I did, it still doesn't change what I said earlier. And you know what?" she said softly. "I think you see more there than there actually is. You aren't disfigured, you know. Plus, I really think your scar has character."

"What?" I laughed at the absurdity, causing salty tears to enter my mouth.

She squeezed me tighter. "I'm serious, Bella. You think it looks hideous, and I'm telling you it doesn't."

I shook my head. "You don't have to say that to make me feel better."

She pulled me down on the bed beside her, holding my hands as we sat face to face. "I'm not. I wouldn't tell you something like that to make you feel better, Bella. I'm telling you that because it's true. It's not this big, gross mark on your body that makes you look like some horrible beast monster or something. Your mind makes you feel that way, but it's not."

"It's not exactly small, Alice."

"No, it's not real small, but it's not, like, huge and grotesque either. And it's certainly not going to matter to those who love you. It shouldn't matter to anyone. I know how cruel people can be, but who cares what they think, anyway."

"I just… I hate what this-"

"Enough with the buzzkill talk." She started bouncing where she sat, but still held onto my hands. "We've got a party to get ready for, and you, Bella-ella, will look as beautiful as ever, okay?"

"How do you make it so easy to tell you things I can't tell anyone else?" I grabbed a tissue off my nightstand and wiped my nose. "I've just never been like this with anyone."

"I guess the same way you do it," she chuckled. "Now, let's pretty you up, get some dinner at the diner and go to that party."

So I sat there, I'm not even sure how long, and let Alice 'pretty' me up.


-OO-OO-

We'd been at Emmett's about an hour, making our way through the party, chatting with people, when Alice finally, begrudgingly on my part, talked me into dancing.

"Oh, my God," Alice squealed. "I love this song."

She loved the song and was not taking 'no' for an answer.

Walk you to the counter

what you got to offer

pick you out a soda

look at you forever

walk you to the water

eyes like a casino

you ain't born typical

I was sort of swaying, trying to keep myself from falling over. Alice was all over the place, laughing, just having a good time. Seeing her like that, it made me laugh along with her.

"Come on, Bella. Shake what your mama gave ya," she yelled over the music.

"Not if you want me to break something of mine or someone else's," I yelled back.

She laughed, but continued dancing, and I put just a little more effort into it, knowing I probably looked like a complete idiot, but I was admittedly having fun.

It was in the middle of the song when warmth cascaded over me, and I felt like someone was watching me, causing the skin on my back to pebble with goosebumps; I actually shivered.

A hand touched the small of my back, but something about the touch was off. I didn't like it. I turned around to see who it was, finding Edward there. My eyes were drawn to him, but he wasn't the one touching me.

dancing on the legs of a new born pony

left right left right, keep it up son

go ahead and have her, go ahead and leave her

you only ever had her when you were a fever

i am a fever, i am a fever

i ain't born typical

i am a fever, i am a fever

i ain't born typical

we are a fever, we are a fever

we ain't born typical

we are a fever, we are a fever

we ain't born typical

There was something almost animalistic within his eyes, and the intensity left my heart pounding, my breathing staccato. I swear it felt like he was claiming me as his with that look. It made no sense to me, he didn't even like me, but even still, it excited and terrified me.

I had to look away, had to make him see that he didn't have any kind of power over me at all. I glanced right at the guy whose hand was now situated on my hip and smiled at him. He smiled back, all dimples and dark hair.

Even over the blare of music, I could hear Edward growl, feel the impact of it within me. It actually sounded primal and pissed off. He stormed off, angry, which seemed to be a usual for him.

What the hell?

"Forget that guy," Dimples said. "How about you and I dance?"

I should have let it go, because Edward and I squaring off never ended well, but the oxygen to my brain was once again cut off, and I decided to follow him to find out what his problem was.

"I'm sorry," I told the guy. I moved through the crowd, forgetting I left Alice behind.

When I stepped out into the backyard, Edward was pacing the damp grass, making weird growling noises while holding a bottle of some kind of liquor within one of his hands.

The fact that I found the way he was acting sexy pissed me off. What did he have to be angry about? Nothing. I hadn't done anything to him. And, honestly, I was tired of feeling like I was hitting a brick wall where he was concerned.

"What the hell is your problem?"

"Leave it alone." Was he threatening me? Oh, hell no.

I followed behind him as he walked further into the yard toward some trees. "No, Edward, I won't leave it alone. What the hell was that back there, huh? You treat me like shit for no reason, and you do it every chance you get, but I-"

"Let it go, Bella."

His tone sounded almost ominous, but I didn't quit. I didn't like being dictated to, especially by him.

"No," I spat. "Not until you tell me what your problem is with me. I didn't do a damn thing to you, Edward. I purposely avoided you all day. You obviously hate me for whatever reason, so I stayed away from you. I didn't want to come here tonight, but Alice begged me, so I came. You show up out of nowhere, and the second some guy asks me to dance, you shoot daggers at me and storm off. You hate me that much that some guy-"

He stalked toward me, making me swallow the words I was speaking before I even finished them. My back hit against hard bark, but I barely had time to realize I backed into a tree before his body was pressed against mine, trapping me.

He was furious, so furious, as he made it clear that "the guy" should not have been touching me. And again, while dealing with him, I averted to stupid and provoked him by telling him the guy could touch me if he wanted.

If I thought he was furious before that point, I was mistaken. The fury amplified, making his eyes a burning flame behind green irises. "Is this a game to you? Do you… Are you fucking enjoying this shit, Bella? What are you trying to do to me? This is messing with my head, but you won't… You're always… Fuck!"

I was trying to understand what he was asking, but I didn't comprehend the meaning behind his questions. I didn't get what he wanted from me, or why he was so angry at me either. I felt like I was being hit with so much at once, and combining that with my own feelings, it left me in a whirlwind of anxiety.

My body was trembling against his, but I couldn't stop it from happening. The way he was looking at me, everything that led up to this point, it was wreaking havoc on my body, and I inadvertently whimpered. I couldn't help the sound from coming out, but the sound was swallowed up by his mouth.

My body went rigid as my brain processed the fact that Edward was kissing me, pretty roughly too. But when his tongue entered my mouth, any fight I may have had against his kiss disappeared. I moaned and wrapped my fingers into his hair, helping pull him closer as his body pressed further against mine.

Edward's mouth and body made the possibility of brain function nearly non-existent. I mean, I wasn't really experienced beyond a few kisses, but it was obvious by the way his mouth worked over mine and the way he was rubbing himself on me that he was. So, like I said, brain function was not easy to grasp, but oh God, could I function mentally enough to realize how hard he was against my stomach.

He suddenly pulled away and took off toward his car. He sped away, leaving me there against that tree, trying to catch my breath and wondering what the hell just happened.

When I was finally coherent enough for my brain to fire a thought, I blinked, my eyes immediately landing on the bottle of alcohol he'd been holding onto.

"Oh, God," I breathed. "How could I let him go and… He was drinking."

I braced myself against the tree and pushed off, hurrying back inside to find Alice. As soon as I found her, I sort of gave her a quick rundown of what happened as I pulled her out the door.

She was putting on her coat as we rushed to my truck. "So let me make sure I have this right. After he got mad at you for whatever reason Edward gets mad, you followed him out here, he kissed you, then left in his car even though he'd been drinking?"

"Yes," I answered as I slammed my truck door and put on my seat belt. "How could he be so stupid? Is he trying to kill himself?"

"No, he wouldn't do that. I know that much. But as far as what he's thinking, one can never tell with Edward."

"I just hope he was going right home and he made it okay."

I had to maneuver my truck around other vehicles before I was able to pull out onto the street, but the moment I did, I drove as quickly as I could toward Alice's.

I drove down the long path of her driveway, hoping his vehicle was there. But when I rounded the corner, not seeing it, my heart plummeted. Where was he?

"He's not here," I choked out.

Alice grabbed her bag, and opened the passenger door as soon as I stopped. "I need to go tell my Dad. He'll want to go look for him."

"I'll start searching, but I'll text you if I find him."

"I'll do the same," she promised.

As soon as she entered the house, I started backing up, but slammed on the break the moment Edward's car came barreling around me. I put my truck in gear and opened the door, getting out the same time he did. "Edward, where… Why did you take off like that?"

He slammed his door, never once looking at me as he headed for the house. I called out to him, getting nothing in return.

I sighed heavily, running my fingers down my face in agitation. I climbed back inside my truck, taking out some of my frustration as I slammed the door shut. I reached for my cell, sending Alice a quick text before I headed home.

He's okay, and he's on his way inside. I'm going home.


-OO-OO-


It had been nearly a week since the party, and every day I was blessed with nothing more than Edward's silence. He wouldn't look at me, refused to speak to me, even when he was technically required to for school or work. I tried to be the bigger person and discuss what happened, but I got nothing more than a sneer in response.

I probably should have been thankful, I guess, but I wasn't. Honestly, it was really aggravating. He was aggravating.

All these feelings he opened up within me and the way he was treating me now, it was so tiring. I couldn't say that I actually felt this drained before and right after my transplant. I even went so far as to ask Alice how he was acting at home, and she told me he wasn't any better there. I couldn't help but feel responsible for that, and I didn't even know why I was responsible.

It was obvious he wasn't going to talk to me, so I gave up, other than initiating talk when I had to. Nothing I said or did got any kind of reaction out of him, so I gave up completely. What was the point?

God, he was infuriating.

It wasn't until Wednesday during lunch that I noticed a hint of a reaction out of him. Tyler asked me to a movie on Friday night, and I was going to say no because I already had plans with Alice staying over at my house, but she chimed in with the idea of double dating with her and Jasper. I could actually feel Edward's eyes boring into me while Tyler waited for me to answer. The way he was staring at me, it was making me really uncomfortable, like if I said yes, I'd be cheating on him or something. It was ridiculous because we weren't together or anything – he wouldn't even talk to me. I could do what I wanted to.

I wasn't interested in Tyler that way, but to prove that I could do what I wanted, I nodded, telling Tyler I'd love to go. Edward pushed himself out of his seat and stormed off. I was really getting used to seeing the back of his head as he scurried away these days.

"What's his deal?" Mike asked.

"Who the hell knows?" Rose answered. "Does he need a reason to be-"

"He probably needs some pussy," Emmett cut in.

A vision of him and strawberry blonde attacked my mind, and I felt myself cringe just thinking about them together. Why did he make me feel like this? What was it that made me hang on even though he was so mean? Stupid boy who's always an ass but makes me swoon anyway… and stupid heart making me feel things that I don't want to feel for him. God, why couldn't I find a guy who was less Emo and less a jerk? I thought my heart was the part of me that was damaged, not my brain, but I was seriously reconsidering that as a possibility.

I swallowed back the anxiety and spent the remainder of lunch setting up plans with Tyler, Alice and Jasper.

Through the majority of Biology I was wrapped in discomfort while biting my lip to hold it back. He still refused to look at me, but every little thing he touched managed to connect with the lab table in a slam. I was surprised there was anything left of his side.

Work was a little easier, because he was scheduled off Wednesday and Thursday, so I had a break from his presence, but not from thoughts of him. My brain and I were going to have a serious discussion about taming Edward thoughts later on.

School on Thursday and Friday went in the same fashion as Wednesday, only he wasn't around for lunch.

Working all week also kept the questions my parents would ask about my mood at bay. Because I was busy working, I didn't see Charlie, and Renee spent a good deal of time in the office taking care of whatever she had to in order to run the place.

By last period Friday, I was so ready for a break from the emotional hurricane inspired by Edward Cullen. I was actually looking forward to my double date.

Alice rode home with me with the intention of getting ready at my place. It made sense because she was spending the night. Unfortunately, when we got to my house, we found Charlie all laid up on the couch, sick with the flu.

"I never get sick." He covered his mouth as he coughed. "Alma's in the building all of five minutes, barely enough time to spread her germs in the air, and now I'm here with the flu."

"Sometimes five minutes is all it takes." Renee laughed as she sprayed Lysol in the air.

"Well, I don't care," Charlie grumbled. "I hate being sick, and being sick isn't good for Bella."

Thank God my parents knew that Alice was aware of my surgery, or I may have been mortified at what she thought. But now that she knew, Renee's obsession with Lysol and bleaching the house made sense to her.

"I guess that changes our plans," Alice said.

"Yeah," I agreed.

"Well," she started, a smile creeping up her lips. "It doesn't have to. I mean, we could still go out, and instead of staying here, you could spend the night at my place."

Was she serious? That was, like, the worst idea in the history of ideas. "I don't think so," I protested. "I can't stay at-"

"Sure you can," Renee declared. "You don't need to be around your father while he's sick."

I know I must have been looking at her like she was insane, because clearly she was by agreeing with Alice's crazy idea, but it occurred to me during my assessment of her sanity that she had no idea what had been happening between Edward and me. She knew Edward was Alice's brother, and that was it.

I still attempted to protest, though, but she cut me off. "First, if I can keep you away from someone who's sick, I'm going to do that. It's not good for you, and going to Alice's will help with that. This is about your health, Bella, and if it can be helped, I'll do what I need to. Second, you always stay home. It's school, work and home. Just because your father and I suggested you working at the store to help teach you financial responsibility, didn't mean we also don't want you to be a teenager and do teenage things. "

"But I really don't think it's-"

Renee put her hands on her hips, sighing. "Bella, quit being difficult and go have fun. I can manage your father while you're out with friends." She turned her attention to Alice. "Would it be a problem if Bella spent the weekend at your house?"

"What? No, Mom!"

Oh, my God. What plain of existence was I on right now?

"I'm sure it'll be fine," Alice told her.

"Alright, well, I'd like to speak with your mother to make sure."

"Okay. I'll have her call you when we get to my house," Alice promised.

Renee nodded.

"She'll have fun, Mrs. S," Alice said as she pulled me toward the stairs to go up to my room.

"Just, you know, don't do anything you aren't supposed to… at the movies or elsewhere," Renee called after us.

As soon as we entered my room, I turned around, facing Alice, huffing in anger. "I could hurt you right now, Alice Cullen. Do you have any idea how bad of an idea this is? This night was supposed to be about getting away from your brother, the train wreck, not running head on into that collision. That's exactly what I'm doing if I stay at your house."

She giggled. I stood by my closet, crossing my arms at my chest, pouting. This was so not funny. "Bella, he's working. He had to work at four tonight. He won't even be around, and by the time he is, we'll be locked upstairs in my room. He sleeps in late, so we can leave early Saturday if you want and find something to do. Piece of cake."

I huffed one more time, glaring in her direction, then proceeded to gather my clothing for two - cue sarcasm here - fun-filled days at Alice's. I also knew that to stay those two days, Esme would have to be told about my surgery. I wasn't thrilled about that either.

After I got everything I'd need, Renee saw us out. I promised to at least text her before I went to bed, then headed to Alice's.

I was hoping Esme would say no to my staying, but that was a lost cause the moment we entered the door and Alice proceeded to tell her why I needed to stay those two days. Esme agreed to call Renee while Alice and I got ready in her room.

I ended up wearing a shirt similar to the one Alice leant me the night of Emmett's birthday party and a pair of faded jeans. Alice fixed up my hair and make-up. By the time we finished getting ready, the guys had just arrived.

Tyler gestured with his hands, smiling. "Wow, Bella… You look great."

"Thanks," I smiled back, blushing.

Jasper gave Alice a quick kiss of appreciation, causing her to giggle, then asked, "Everyone ready to go?"

Alice nodded, taking Jasper's hand. Tyler and I let them lead since we were all riding in Jasper's car. He walked me to the passenger side, keeping his hand on the small of my back. It felt off, wrong even, but I kept quiet and let him open my door for me and help me inside.

We ended up dining at Smuggler's Landing Restaurant in Port Angeles, which was mostly filled with Jasper/Alice making out and awkward conversation between Tyler and me, before heading to the movie theater.

"What do you wanna see?" Tyler whispered in my ear while we stood in line for our tickets.

I turned my head, practically coming nose to nose with him. "Oh, I don't really have a-"

"Oh, my God," Alice squealed, cutting me off. Tyler and I both turned to see what she was going on about. "Love Spelled Backwards is Love is playing. We have got to see that."

Of course, what Alice wanted Alice got.

"I guess that's what we're seeing," I laughed.

Alice and I ended up finding seats while the guys went for refreshments.

"You having fun?" she asked as we took seats toward the back of the theater.

"Yeah, sure."

She angled toward me, wearing a doubtful expression. "Why do I think you're fibbing?"

I laughed. "Fibbing? I'm not fibbing. Tyler's a nice guy."

"Yeah," she agreed. "He's a nice guy, but you're still not into him."

"I… well, I…" I was stammering my words. "That's not true. He's a nice guy."

"You already said that," she chuckled. She glanced over my shoulder, signaling with her hands before I had a chance to respond. "They're coming."

She sat back in her seat, and I faced Tyler, taking my soda when he handed it to me. "I didn't know what you'd want, so I just bought some popcorn, but if you want-"

"No, popcorn's great," I replied.

I sat there for nearly two hours, watching a mushy movie that was horribly scripted with a nice guy that was very cute, made sure I didn't run out of popcorn, smiled at me when I caught him looking at me and was a complete gentleman the entire time. The problem was, even after all that, the chemistry between us still wasn't there.

As soon as we made it back to Alice's, he opened my door for me, offering me a hand out of the car. "Well, I had a good time, Bella. We should do this again."

He leaned forward, obviously to kiss me, and though he was a nice guy, kissing him didn't feel right. I immediately reached for his hand, stopping him mid lean, and shook it like a crazy person. It was the only thing I could think to stop him from kissing me, other than turning my head and having him kiss my cheek. I'm sure that would have embarrassed him, so rather than having that happen, I chose to embarrass myself.

"Yeah, it was great, Tyler. Thanks for dinner and the movie." I continued shaking his hand.

He glanced down at our moving hands, shaking his head as his forehead creased, then looked back up at my face, baffled at the way I was acting. "Uh… Yeah, you're welcome."

"Okay, well, goodnight." I dropped his hand and turned on my heels, walking toward the door.

"Did you seriously just shake his hand and leave him standing there?" Alice asked behind me.

I turned around and faced her when I made it to the door, holding up my hands to stop her from saying anything further, making a disgusted face. "Please don't ask. I just… I just wanna go to bed and try to sleep off the fact that I'm an idiot."

She smiled broadly, but didn't say anything more as she opened the door.

I was pretty exhausted by the time I changed into my sweatshirt and pajama shorts, took my pill, text Renee, brushed my teeth and settled into Alice's guest bed, pulling the blankets up to my neck and closing my eyes.

"Do you normally sleep with a sweatshirt and shorts?" Alice asked.

"Not usually. I normally sleep in a tank-shirt and shorts because I seem to overheat while I'm sleeping, but I didn't wanna do that-"

"I understand. You wanna watch a movie before we go to bed?"

"I think I'm all movied out tonight, Alice." I hid my sarcasm with a yawn.

"Okay. Well, goodnight, Bella." I could hear the disappointment in her voice, but I was too tired to try to appease her.

I yawned again. "Goodnight, Alice."


-OO-OO-


I sat up, gasping for air while my eyes tried to focus my surroundings in the dark. It took me a moment to remember where I was, especially when I heard soft snoring to the right of me that I didn't recognize. It was only after I realized that I was at Alice's that I was able to start relaxing. Having a nightmare about killer, ankle-biting Oompa-Loompas stalking you in a warehouse of horrors is never ideal, but even more so when you aren't in your own bed. Creepy, little orange dudes.

I wiped the sweat from my forehead and threw the blanket off my body, chuckling under my breath as I glanced at the alarm clock, seeing it was just after one in the morning. Seriously, who dreams about killer Oompa-Loompas?

I got up, heading into Alice's bathroom. My mouth felt dry, but there wasn't a cup in there, so I finished up, washed my hands and tried waking Alice to see if she'd go downstairs with me. I said her name a few times, my voice rising a little louder each time, but she continued snoring away.

Jesus, Bella, you can handle getting your own water. It's not like little orange guys are going to jump out from underneath the counter and bite your ankles to death.

I laughed again, but covered my mouth to conceal the sound when I opened Alice's bedroom door and stepped into the hallway.

It was dimly lit throughout the house, so I proceeded down the hall and stairs with caution, because even in dim light I would manage to break something. I stubbed my toe when I made it to the bottom step, and I had to, with great effort, bite back a groan and outpour of cursing. I practically hobbled into the kitchen toward the refrigerator. Of course, if there were killer Oompa-Loompas loose, my poor ankles would be in trouble now that I was wounded.

I wanted to smack my forehead at the thought because the stupidity my brain seemed to dive into lately was seriously making me delusional.

I quickly grabbed a bottle of water and hobbled back toward the stairs, moving up them leisurely to save myself from any further injury. I was just rounding the corner from the top step when I ran smack dab into another body.

I went to scream on instinct, but a hand clamped over my mouth. I scrunched my eyes together, then opened them, blinking rapidly as the face the hand belonged to came into focus. He leaned in so that I could no longer see his face, his warm breath caressing the shell of my ear as he spoke. "Shhh… You wouldn't want to wake the others and shit, would you?"

Edward stepped back, but was still standing so close I could feel the heat of his body. I stared up at him, feeling my heart thunder in my chest from the adrenaline running through my system. The moment I shook my head, he dropped his hand from my mouth.

"What are you doing out here, Bella?" His tone was flat. "You shouldn't be out here… Not right now."

"Water," I blurted out. "I… uh… needed water."

I pushed myself further against the wall, hoping to move around him somehow, but all it earned me was a smirk from him.

"Alice's room," I practically whimpered. "I'm… going there."

I wanted to move, but my legs felt cemented down. What was wrong with me?

He took a step closer, his eyes searing mine with his vigorous stare. "Did you have fun on your date?" He practically spat out the word 'date'.

I bit my lip as I swallowed loudly, causing his eyes to lower to my mouth. "Yes."

"Is that so?" The intense way he was looking and speaking was too much. It was like he was a different person.

"Yes," I breathed.

Oh God, he was too close now. I was feeling his touch and his words everywhere.

"Did he kiss you, Bella?"

"What?" I squeaked.

"It's a simple yes or no answer." Was he really asking me about Tyler kissing me?

I was trying to put up that last bit of fight, but my words still came out weak. "It's really none of your-"

"Business?" he finished. "Oh, but it is." His body was flush against mine now. "You shouldn't be out here, Bella. Not when you're in my head, and I'm trying to…" he paused, grinding his teeth together. "Oh, fuck it."

His arms wrapped around my waist the exact moment his mouth was on mine. "Don't let me," he pleaded against my lips.

It was already too late. I had no fight left in me.