Tuesday, October 23, 2012

CF Chapter 14 TEASER

I could feel the attachment to Edward building for some time, and admittedly, it was scary as hell. As stubborn and arrogant as he could be at times, it was the positive parts of him that had really shown through. He had such a good heart, even with as guarded as he kept it.
 But not telling him how I truly felt about him? That terrified me more. Not saying what you should could have serious repercussions… like losing what you value most. Sometimes though, words aren’t enough to express what someone means to you. So what do you do? You show them the best way you can. With Edward, I gave him my heart. The glass heart and key represented what he owned of mine. He had to see more than just hear.
And since that moment, he had obviously changed. We both had. I could tell through Government and lunch that he was different, and I knew it was because of what I’d done. He never said a word to me, just stared. Honestly, I feared what that silence meant. It wasn’t until biology that I realized how altered he really was, because it wasn’t until then that he said anything about the glass heart.
“Why, Bella?” he whispered.
I turned to look at him. “Why what?” Though I asked, I knew exactly what he was referring to. But I was tired of the silence, the way it tensed me. I needed him to speak.
He peered at his hands that were resting palm down on the desk we shared. They shook even though he tried to steady them. “Why me?”
How could he ask that? How could he not see the answer? “Because Edward, it was meant for you. I think deep down I’ve known for awhile it was always you.”
“How?” he asked, still whispering. “How do you know it’s me?”  This Edward was not the one I was used to seeing. This Edward’s shield was down, visually unguarded, and he’d managed to communicate a few sentences without cursing.
I exhaled audibly, the emotion tumbling through my body evident in my breathing. “I feel it. I trust you with my heart.”
He finally looked at me, and I swear I could see right inside him, see that he was cracking open. “That’s a lot of faith to have in one fucking person, Bella.”
“You’re not just any person, Edward. Besides, you’re worth it.”
He watched me for the longest time, quiet as he’d been previously. I hoped he’d say something more, say how he felt, but he kept silent through the rest of Biology. And I let him, because I’d learned when not to push.
Seconds before the bell rang, he slid a piece of paper over to me, one I never even saw him writing. I glanced down, and as I read the words, tears I didn’t realize I was shedding coated the paper.
In messy handwriting, it read:
No one has ever touched my heart and soul but you.

Thursday, October 11, 2012

TUS Chapter 30 TEASER

Edward's hands came up to frame my face. Love and adoration bled
through his touch and his eyes as he stared into mine. "Listen," he
whispered, cocking his head slightly. "Can you hear that?"

I listened carefully but heard no sound other than normal creaks in
the building and our breathing, and I was positive those were not what
he was referring to. "No, I don't."

"Listen carefully," he pleaded. He could see I was trying hard to do
as he asked. Still, I was missing whatever it was he heard. My
confusion was emphasized by my expression. "That sound? That's my soul
singing out to yours." I gazed into his eyes, heart thumping,
unconditional love surging through every part of my being for this
man. He continued, "It's saying that you are part of it; that until
you, it was shattered. Those pieces are now made whole. No matter
what, no matter where we are, apart or not, it will continue to sing
for you and only you." He gently brushed away a stray tear that rolled
down my cheek. "Can you hear it now, meu anjo?"

I kissed him softly, whispering against his lips. "Yes, I can here it.
Can you hear what mine sings to yours?"

He leaned back just inches, closing his eyes, listening mindfully.
Minutes passed before he opened his eyes again, nodding. "I hear it.
It says how much you love me, that I've become a part of it, too. Our
souls... They're connected."

"Yes," I answered, more tears falling, finding their way into the
fabric of my clothing. He was right. But there was more. "You know
what else it says?"

"What?" he asked.

I kissed him again, threading my fingers through his hair as I wrapped
my arms around his neck. "Thank you for leading me home."




I know most of you aren't aware - some here are, I'm sure - that I'm the writer of The Unaccompanied Soul and Chancing Fate. My twitter account for "Twi-fandom" was closed a few months ago, mostly because of continuous harsh emails, dm's, and pm's about updating, etc, and I only have an account now that was meant for my published work, though I do tweet about Twi-related issues on it. I figured posting here would get a better word-spread of what's been going on and why there's been no updates to either story.

Some already know, but I've been very sick awhile now. I have fibromyalgia and arthritis, which I stated in an author's note last updates, but in May, I had gallbladder surgery and continued to have problems after. Months of testing, and I mean all kinds of testing, I ended up having to have a hysterectomy 4 weeks ago yesterday. However, that hasn't finished the issue. Today, I have a gastroscopy and in 4-6 weeks, I'll be having a colonoscopy, because they believe I have crohn's disease, and there has also come to light that it's a high possibility during my hysterectomy the doctor nicked my bladder. Believe me, I know how much that all is, and it's been nothing but a horror story for me. I've been unable to update, had to push back the release of my first novel several months, not been able to be the mommy that I'm used to being, and it's been heartbreaking and painful in many ways.

I just wanted everyone to know that despite what's going on in my RL, I have every intention of completing both stories. I know that was a big question for many, and the answer is yes, they'll be finished. I just need some time on my end to heal and recuperate. Please understand, and if you could pass the word on, I'd be so very grateful.

Thank you so much for all the support you've shown and the positivity you've brought to my life. My stories wouldn't be anything without you and neither would I.

Much love to you all!

Jess aka JMCullen09

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

TUS Chapter 25 TEASER

He was nervous, yes, but I suppose I expected him to be a bit more restive than he was.

“Are you positive you want to go through with this?” I asked. It was D-day, so to speak, and I needed him to be certain.

It wasn’t that I felt he was incapable of actually going through with it, because he’d proven time and again his strength and determination to be a part of the outside world with me, but this was different from being on the other end of a Walkie-talkie where you could hit a button and make the voice piercing through the speaker disappear. That voice wouldn’t know your discomfort because they couldn’t see you, see how they affected you. One movement from your finger would make them disappear.

This time, though, he wouldn’t have that safety net. He was about to stand face-to-face with another person, a person that wasn’t me. That fact alone was significant.

Our eyes met as he nodded. He reached for my hand and guided it toward his mouth, kissing each finger tip tenderly. “Oh, meu anjo, se você pudesse entender o quanto você já curou minha alma. Você é minha esperança, lembra? Eu posso fazer isso.” His eyes scanned my face, the warmth within them illuminating the green. I could see myself, see that I was precious to him. “I’m ready.”

He placed my hand against his cheek as I leaned toward him, pressing my forehead to his while closing my eyes and breathing him in. His touch and scent always eased me. “I love you,” I whispered. It was all I could say to let him know I believed in him, to let him know how much he meant to me.

I reached for the Walkie-talkie that sat alongside my left thigh, keeping the physical connection between us as I spoke into the receiver. “Alice,” I breathed. “It’s time.”


Oh, meu anjo, se você pudesse entender o quanto você já curou minha alma. Você é minha esperança, lembra? Eu posso fazer isso. =  Oh, my angel, if only you could understand how much you've already healed my soul. You're my hope, remember? I can do this.

CF Chapter 12 TEASER

I kept Bella’s hand clasped tightly in mine as I moved toward my car. She kept up pace with me. “Edward, where are you taking me? And what about my truck?” she asked. “I can’t just-”

“Leave the fucking thing. We’ll get it later.”

I didn’t give a shit about anything but proving a point. I wanted her so goddamn bad, but I never wanted to hurt her… physically or emotionally. She thought I saw weakness when I looked at her, saw nothing but the scar on her chest, but she couldn’t have been more fucking wrong. She was a survivor, the strongest person I knew, and she’d become too important to me now. I wanted to do shit right where she was concerned, show her she was so much more than a fucking body to me, but she had to second guess me, and I was so tired of her second guessing how I felt about her.

She put up a little resistance, but I wasn’t having that shit. Not now. “But, Edward, I can’t-”

Before she could finish speaking, I had her back pressed against the passenger side door, my body against hers, keeping her from being able to move away. “Are you really fucking worried about your truck, Bella?” I thrust my hips forward, pressing my dick into her stomach, replacing her words with moans. “Yeah, I didn’t think so. See, you think you got shit figured out, but you don’t.”

“What…” she swallowed thickly. “What are you saying?”

I smirked down at her. “You had to push, and you couldn’t just let me do shit my own way. You want to know how much I want you, what you fucking do to me, how much you make me burn inside for you?” I leaned forward, running my nose along her jaw. I could literally hear her heart beating within her chest. “This is what you wanted, isn’t it?” She whimpered. “I know it is, and I’m gonna show you exactly how much I want you, Bella.”

Friday, September 24, 2010

TUS Chapter 24 Teaser

Sometimes in life, things have a way of coming at you, things you’d never expect in a million years. Some are good, some are bad, some are sitting on the threshold, leaving you unsure which direction they’ll tip, so you have to brace yourself for the impact, but all are equally unexpected.

And when you find yourself riding in the center of the vortex of unknown, your lungs feel like they’re compressed. You wait to breathe that sigh of relief or feel a crushing blow aimed right at your heart. The unknown can be thrilling, it can be scary and it can be lonely.

Then again, it could be all three at once, which is exactly what I discovered as I stood there with that picture in my hand. It was a mystery I couldn't make sense of.

This woman, whose face wasn’t just beautiful but appeared kind, smiled at the person behind the lens, her green eyes so hopeful. It was a closeup shot, which made her features very easily seen. She was young, eighteen maybe. Her hand was positioned against her cheek, hair nearly the same color as Edward’s blowing in the wind, a stray strand covering one of her fingers.

The backdrop was a meadow of some kind. There appeared to be lots of trees, along with wild flowers that tried to make their presence known even though the camera cut off much of their view.

I held that picture in my hand, whose edges were a little frayed, my body stock still, trying to find something to debunk what my brain was screaming at me, but I always came back to the same conclusion. This woman, she looked like Edward, so much that it was eerie. That realization aired a lot of questions, like a bunch of pistons firing off in my brain, but it all led to the biggest question of all… How was it even possible?

“What do you got there?” I never heard Alice move toward me… or even felt her peering around my arm.

I answered her, though I didn’t recognize my voice when I did, but my eyes stayed on the picture practically glued to my fingertips. “Who… who is this?”

She grabbed the picture from my hand, but not without resistance I didn’t realize I was giving. She stared at it, the smile on her face becoming a frown. “This was my Aunt Elizabeth, my mom’s younger sister.”

Even through the shock I caught the obvious innuendo, but I still asked the question anyhow. “What do you mean 'was'?”

Her shoulders slouched, her words carried a saddened undertone. “She died… before I was born.”

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

CF Chapter 10 teaser

The full chapter will post Tuesday, September 28.

This is in Edward pov.

My mouth was claiming hers, hot and hungry, like I needed her fucking taste to live off of. My hands were working their way up the soft skin of her thighs, thighs I wanted to be parting so I could settle myself between them and bury myself inside her.

I wanted her so fucking bad. And the want for her, it only seemed to magnify. I felt like I was this goddamn ball of flame around her, searing with a need that consumed me in ways I had no words for. It fucked with my head because I couldn’t understand all these feelings crashing down on me like steel weight, especially the warm sensation that suffused through my chest the second I laid eyes on her. It didn’t matter, though, did it? Because all that shit, that’s what led me here.

I repositioned her in my lap so she was straddling me, her knees digging into the cushions of the couch, without moving my mouth from hers. I’d rather cut off my motherfucking eyelids than pull my lips away and lose the taste of her mouth… unless it was between her legs I was tasting. Either one, it didn’t matter.

She was pulling back, but I tried to hold her to me. She gasped, breathing out my name. “Edward…”

I pulled her back against me, her chest pressing into mine. I loved the feel of her body up against me. “Don’t stop, Bella.”

Her brown eyes stared back at me, hooded with a need that matched my own, but a defiance blazing underneath that made my dick so hard it ached for some fucking relief.

She closed her eyes, breathing in deep before opening them again, her voice sounding sultry and sexed up. “It’s not going to work. I… I know what you’re trying to do.”

I lifted my eyebrow, smirking up at her as I shifted my hips upward, loving the whimper I got in exchange. “Give me a few more seconds, and I’ll show you what I’m trying to do.”